# SDMB All-Out Musicians' Brawl **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 3, 2000, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989 "2000-08-03T14:57:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/61 "2000-08-04T00:27:31Z")
Myrr, this is a FIGHT! Don’t go saying “please” on me!! This is when you’re supposed to be macho and push me and my wussy string instrument aside!! 😃 But you’re too much of a gentleman for that, aren’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/62 "2000-08-04T00:38:15Z")
See, that’s the thing about the tuba. On the surface, it’s the ultimate macho instrument–it’s big, and really frickin loud. But once you start playing, you quickly discover that your part consists mostly of playing four notes over and over and over…on the plus side, if another section’s screwing up, you can always drown them out 🙂 But yeah, I don’t think I could push you aside without feeling guilty… ::sigh:: Samshing pianos, OTOH: ::whap: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/63 "2000-08-04T00:53:11Z")
MMMPH! MMMMPH! :::wriggles free of snare::: Tone deaf? I’ll give you tone-deaf, you, you, you DRUMMER you! :::grabs Dave’s sticks, jams one in each of his ears, hops on his back, & rides him around the room::: Hey Dave! What do drummers use for contraception? Their personalities! BWAAAAAAHahahahaha! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/64 "2000-08-04T01:42:12Z")
Having watched the festivities long enough, I drop quickly to minor key, for that moody feel, and leap from the upper balcony, with a rather sharply filed sitar in hand … YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ::whumph:: (damn that’s a hard floor) Little help down here? BTW, how do you get a professionl drummer off your front porch? Take your pizza and tell him to keep the change. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/65 "2000-08-04T01:47:22Z")
I knew you were a gent, Myrr. That’s why I flirt with you. 😃 Hey Jack, would some Hamburger Helper make you feel better after that nasty fall? ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/66 "2000-08-04T01:52:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\*I knew you were a gent, Myrr. That’s why I flirt with you. \*\* Aww, thankee 😉 Now, care to point that violin bow elsewhere? owwwie! ---
**Author:** ![Sakura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Sakura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sakura)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/67 "2000-08-04T01:54:48Z")
Seeind as how I can hardly read music, I’m not much of an instrument player myself. Now singing - _that_ I can do. ::Stands in a shadowy corner & sings Brittney Spears songs just loud enough to be heard every now & then:: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/68 "2000-08-04T02:15:16Z")
[Homer Simpson impersonation] Mmmm, Hamburger Helpery [/Homer Simpson impersonation] ::Totally incapacited, but pleasently full:: Thanks Audrey, I needed that. I’ll watch your back. ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/69 "2000-08-04T02:20:56Z")
Alright, so any of you ladies play the French Horn. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JuanDeCuba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a87d85/32.png) [@JuanDeCuba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JuanDeCuba)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/70 "2000-08-04T02:31:58Z")
::Fortissimo high C on my trumpet to drown out Britney before it really starts to get to me:: Where’s the SDMB 19th when I need them? ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/71 "2000-08-04T02:36:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sakura \* > \*\* ::Stands in a shadowy corner & sings Brittney Spears songs just loud enough to be heard every now & then:: \*\* Nothing personal, you understand, but… ::kills \*\* Sakura \*\* :: Now, where did that cute violinist get off to? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/72 "2000-08-04T02:38:42Z")
Watch it, Myrr, I’ve got Jack covering my back! [hey that rhymes!] It was nice knowing Sakura. Too bad about her choice in music. Who’s gonna break the news to Dave? ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/73 "2000-08-04T02:42:21Z")
Don’t worry about it, Audrey. Myrr, here’s your money. Now get out of town and change your name, like we agreed. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/74 "2000-08-04T02:43:23Z")
:::revives Sakura::: FYI: This is the BMZ, okay? _No Britney Allowed._ But if you _really_ want to honk them off, sing Celine. Heh. :::picks up husbands cheap-ass bass & goes headhunting::: ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/75 "2000-08-04T02:43:29Z")
Well, y’all better not blame me–I was driven to insanity by that awful screeching. As for that crippled putz on the floor–you think he’s gonna stop me? ::Grins manaically; advances slowly with tuba:: ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/76 "2000-08-04T02:44:37Z")
What is that horrible screaching? It sounds vaguely like Christine Aguilara, or possibly Britney Spears (feh, what’s the difference?) It’s . . . it’s . . . coming from over there. Must … get … Sakura. :: Picking up freshly filed Sitar, drawing a bead on the horrible caterwalling :: Let’s get her boys!! ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/77 "2000-08-04T02:47:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Myrr21 \* > \*\* > As for that crippled putz on the floor–you think he’s gonna stop me? > ::Grins manaically; advances slowly with tuba:: \*\* ::thinking fast, Audrey stuffs Hamburger Helper down Myrr’s tuba:: ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/78 "2000-08-04T02:47:22Z")
French Horn? Hey, if I got my lips on the top half, and my fingers halfway up the bottom half, it better fucking well NOT be made out of brass. Hoo-hah! Flung finger cymbals? I repel finger cymbals with an open-hole Gemeinhardt flute, spinning like a baton! Like Wonder Woman and her magic bracelets! And the Sousaphone protects most of my other bits! Now, how do I work the piano and the tenor saxophone in here? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/79 "2000-08-04T02:49:27Z")
Apparently my 12 foot fall and Hamburger Helper overdose has thrown me into some sort of time warp. Oh well, mission accomplished anyway. As for you, Myrr, leave my little Audrey-chef alone (I love the way she makes a smiley face in the pan with that fake sour cream that comes with the Stroganoff), this Sitar swings bothways you know! ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/80 "2000-08-04T02:49:56Z")
::whirls his timpani mallets around like nunchuks:: Hey, you can’t kill my daughter again! I forbid it! I also can’t afford it! She promises not to do Britney anymore. Besides, her Mel Torme is much better. Do it for the people, honey. (it’s really good, she’ll do it for you). Come on, honey, do Mel. (she’s shy. Wait, I’ll get her to do it) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989.md?page=5)