# SDMB book contest!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [March 30, 2004, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408 "2004-03-30T21:57:29Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 12

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**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\
**Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/221 "2004-04-01T23:06:40Z")

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For general members:

**Slave to the Hamster**  
**Dopean** (or **Dopite**?)  
**I Just Want Attention**  
**Hamster Food**

For the most cleverly sarcastic mod:  
**Lord of the Zings**

Lynn Bodoni  
**Licensed to Grill**  
(ha ha – you know, because it’s the BBQ pit, you know, grilling… BBQing… :::chirping crickets::: oh fine… nevermind… ;))

Ed Zotti  
**Supreme Whatsit**

Non-paying (not yet subscribing) guest:  
**Leech** 😃  
**Shadow**  
**Fresh Meat**  
**Pledge**  
**Peasant**

For those with post counts over 10000:  
**Needs Some Fresh Air**

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**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\
**Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/222 "2004-04-01T23:34:41Z")

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What about a system based on astronomy? I’m no Phil Plait, so there may be errors.

Guest-Comet (may or may not end up in orbit around the sun)

Member- Asteroid belt (objects of various sizes, shapes, and composition make up the asteroid belt, which is in permanent object around the sun)

The Mods would receive titles based on planets and moons

Lynn Bodoni-Mars (the angry, red planet)

Ed Zotti-The Sun

Cecil- Center Of The Known Universe

Banned-Burned Up On Entry

Banned sock puppet- Burned Up On Reentry

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\
**Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/223 "2004-04-01T23:45:29Z")

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Or what about a system based on the many in jokes that go on here?

Guest-Hitchhiker

Member-

Has A Towel

Isn’t Panicking

Looks On The Bright Side Of Death

Peppers In God’s Lo Mein

Greetings, Program!

Mods-Guard With Rectifier Rod

Lynn Bodoni-The Knight Who Says Ni!

Banned-Weighed The Same As A Duck

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**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\
**Post date:** [April 1, 2004, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/224 "2004-04-01T23:51:18Z")

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Charter Member - **Plank Owner** : an old navy term for the original crew on a ship who are given deck planks when the ship is decomissioned. May that day never come for SDMB.

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**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/225 "2004-04-02T00:00:16Z")

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For the mods, especially in the Pit:  
**Modzilla**

A themed set for guests and members:  
**Dangerous Thing** and **Drinking Deep**

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**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/226 "2004-04-02T00:49:56Z")

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**General:**

#xxx of the Teeming Millions

Subscriber

**Specific:**

DAVEW0071  
Official SDMB Hired Killer

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/227 "2004-04-02T00:50:17Z")

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What about a prohibition theme?  
Like the fight againest ignorance, the Prohibition had a fight that was ultimately againest ignorance.

If you thought that the gangsters were ignorant:  
Cecil could be Master Volstead  
Mods could be Wickersham Investigators  
Admin could be Judicial Review  
Members could be Deputies  
Guests could be Interns  
Banned Men could be Clyde  
Banned Women could be Bonnie

Or (the one I like better…)

If you think that the Prohibition Act was ignorant:  
Cecil could be Al Capone (or Master Scarface) since the Chicago connection and the fact that they both were the best at what they fought (Ignorance and Prohibition respectivly"  
Mods could be Bookeepers  
Admin could be Danos (I forget the name, but it means “godfather”)  
Members who were Female could be Bonnie(or Flappers), those who were Male could be Clyde(or Gangster)  
Guests could be Learning the Ropes  
Banned members could be Sleeping With the Fishes (SWtF) or Popped

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/228 "2004-04-02T02:07:25Z")

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> [@tpayne](#):
>
> gadfly

What you say?

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/229 "2004-04-02T02:24:37Z")

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For me (or anyone else who wants the title)-

Full of Baloney  
Stoned as a Newt  
Drunk as a Frat boy  
Useless  
Ignorant and losing the battle

I think I rather like that last one myself…😉

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/230 "2004-04-02T02:36:02Z")

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Cecil: God  
Little Ed: Messiah  
Admin: Disciple  
Mods: Prophet  
Charter Members: Sr. Shepard  
Members: Jr. Shepard  
Guests: Sheep  
Banned: Chastised

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/231 "2004-04-02T02:57:36Z")

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Not Terribly Serious Titles

Lynn Bodoni: 1940’s-style “Death Mod”

Banned User: Burnt dog

Libertarian: Modal Ontological

Reeder: Shrubbery Afficionado

Opalcat: Third Article

Slightly More Serious Titles

Cecil: Hierophant

Admins: Sage

Moderators: Savant

Registered User: Scholar

Guest: Student

Banned: Dunce

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/232 "2004-04-02T03:07:23Z")

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Cecil: Sphinctre of Ignorance  
Little Ed: Colonel  
Admin: Superiorly Anal  
Mods: Assholes  
Charter Members: Sticks  
Members: Thumbs  
Guests: Replenished Cell  
Banned: Expelled POS

Yea, I know. It is a crappy idea. Oh, well…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![IrreverentTone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@IrreverentTone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IrreverentTone)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/233 "2004-04-02T03:16:17Z")

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Forget member, I vote for **organist**!

or **hamster spanker**

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**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/234 "2004-04-02T03:59:42Z")

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I propose a heirarchy of titles based on a combination of post count and position, with an educational theme.

Regular Posters

Not registered: **Unwashed Mass**  
\<100 posts: **Kindergartener**  
101-250 posts: **Pupil**  
251-500 posts: **Student**  
501-1000 posts: **Frosh**  
1001-2000 posts: **Senior**  
2001-3500 posts: **Scholar**  
3501-5000 posts: **Candidate**  
5001-7500 posts: **Graduate**  
7501-10000 posts: **Scientist**  
10001-20000 posts: **Doctor of Letters**  
20001 posts or more, if it ever happens: **Laureate**

Staff

Moderators: **Principal**  
Ed Zotti: **Genius**  
Cecil Himself: **The Master** - of course!

Others

Banned: **Reprobate**  
Suspended: **Purgatist**

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/235 "2004-04-02T04:09:36Z")

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Overlord of information

_or_

member  
😃

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/236 "2004-04-02T04:28:31Z")

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> [@RickJay](#):
>
> I propose a heirarchy of titles based on a combination of post count and position, with an educational theme.
> 
> 20001 posts or more, if it ever happens: **Laureate**

**Guinastasia** has nearly 18,500 posts now.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Xgemina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/b5e925/32.png) [@Xgemina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xgemina)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/237 "2004-04-02T04:51:45Z")

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Well, it’s the fight against ignorance, right?

for general members:

Soldier

Legionnaire

or we could just go with the good old plain:

Addict

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**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/238 "2004-04-02T05:02:19Z")

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> [@RickJay](#):
>
> 20001 posts or more, if it ever happens: **Laureate**

Oh it will. At least **Guinastasia** and **Libertarian** are charging full speed ahead even as I type. **Lib** has farther to go, but a sustained talkative stretch will get him there soon enough.

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**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/239 "2004-04-02T05:02:31Z")

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**Happy Lendervedder**  
Master of His Domain…sometimes

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![windin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/6f9a4e/32.png) [@windin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/windin)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-book-contest/237408/240 "2004-04-02T05:37:39Z")

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**PERSEPHONE**  
#1 Dearly Departed Dope ANGEL

I’ve only just found you all 😃 …and I love books!

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