# Sdmb D&d **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 7, 2002, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750 "2002-05-07T18:01:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/21 "2002-05-07T22:34:56Z")
I listen at the door. Then I listen to the door. Does the door say anything? Maybe we should go back into town and get a sage that speaks door. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/22 "2002-05-07T22:44:24Z")
I’m just going to bash the door in. Move back, **Mr. Miskatonic**. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/23 "2002-05-07T22:53:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by throatshot \* > \*\*I’m just going to bash the door in. Move back, **Mr. Miskatonic**. \*\* Hey! I’m trying to talk to the door here! ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/24 "2002-05-07T23:40:08Z")
say “XYZZY” [sub]translated from olde adventure speak, that means, “Damn, I’m old!”[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/25 "2002-05-07T23:49:34Z")
I shout ‘plugh’ and I wave the rusty black wand with the star on the end of it. ---
**Author:** ![Moxmaiden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Moxmaiden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moxmaiden)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/26 "2002-05-08T00:07:20Z")
[pain filled scream] Ahhhhhhhh! [/pain filled scream] _pulls rusty black wand with the star on the end of it out of her eye_ Hey, watch where you wave that thing! \*Now I have to waste a perfectly good heal spell on myself. The nerve of some people. \* 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/27 "2002-05-08T00:09:03Z")
I walk up, making noises like a galloping horse. Who needs a bard? “Bravely bold sirs… uh… all youse guys Rode forth from… erm… wherever the hell y’all came from. They were not afraid to die, No, especially not that thief (apparently)!” ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/28 "2002-05-08T00:38:31Z")
With my trusty +5 dagger I carve “Tasha licks trolls” into the remains of the door. ---
**Author:** ![Com2Kid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@Com2Kid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Com2Kid)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/29 "2002-05-08T00:59:21Z")
Yeesh; Quite obvious. I cast Super Bouncy Splitty Ray Of Death\* down the entrance way, hastily erect a mirror in front of the door to make sure that my SBSRoD does not escape, and sit back and wait for a few hours. I then proceed down inside, collect the arse loads of treasure, and leave. - Or Super Bouncy Splitty Ray of Disintegration if you have Undead things going on as well, or even Super Bouncy Splitty Ray of Complete And Utter Total Annihilation From This And Related Spheres Of Existence if you want to throws Ghosts into the mix as well. . . . Alternatively if there is no treasure that I really care about then just sign me up for casting for whatever the local variant of Nuke All is. 🙂 Alternatively, Disintegrate Stone sounds nice, as all of the corporeal beings would fall down on top of each other and die, and I would just be stuck picking through the bodies to get to the treasure. . . . (undead + ghosts would perish thanks to the exposure to light). ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/30 "2002-05-08T01:04:09Z")
Since Mr. Miskatonic doesn’t move, I use the force of his body to bust open the door. What do I see? ---
**Author:** ![MercuryPenguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MercuryPenguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MercuryPenguin)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/31 "2002-05-08T02:26:36Z")
The door opens. You hit the grid bug. The grid bug bites! The grid bug bites! The grid bug bites! The grid bug bites! The grid bug bites! You die… ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/32 "2002-05-08T04:57:43Z")
I spray the grid bug with Raid. ---
**Author:** ![hello32499](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cc9497/32.png) [@hello32499](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hello32499)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/33 "2002-05-08T07:20:37Z")
Bored, I loot the theif of the gold he stole from me last night and I add a shiny new dagger to my belt. Then, I rest on the stairs with my staff at my side waiting for my companions to grow up and for the glyphs on the door to be read, or for the door to be opened. ---
**Author:** ![Jonno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f19dbf/32.png) [@Jonno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonno)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/34 "2002-05-08T07:25:04Z")
This is the _last_ fuckin’ time I agree to play a thief. I hate you all. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/35 "2002-05-08T07:36:00Z")
Attempting to buff the entire group for the doubtless impending battle, I cast the wrong spell and ensnare everyone! ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/36 "2002-05-08T13:06:12Z")
The door opens with a touch. The runes seem to be warning intruders not to disturb the contents of the tomb. It seems grave robbers may have beaten you to this site. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/37 "2002-05-08T13:17:37Z")
I’ll take **CelticCowboy** ’s corpse and toss it through the door, just to make sure that any long-forgotten traps have since been triggered. Sorry, bud, but it had to be someone, and better you than me, right? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/38 "2002-05-08T13:40:19Z")
I toss the rock with the Con Light spell on it after the dead thief. 🙂 What do we see? ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/39 "2002-05-08T15:02:46Z")
I have my longsword drawn. ---
**Author:** ![DemonSpawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac8455/32.png) [@DemonSpawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonSpawn)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/40 "2002-05-08T15:55:01Z")
Put it away, oh great knight **throatshot** , lest you poke someone with it. Thus spake the wise Merlin: “A knyght without eyes canne notte see, notte even with a Con Light Spell” I secure my chakram at my belt and peek into the cave behind the open door. I see the body of the thief (now a little worse for wear) impaled by the spears of a Long Forgotten Trap ™. A broken sarcopharge (sp?) is in the middle of the ancient tomb. A tattered piece of pergament lies next to it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750.md?page=3)