# Sdmb D&d

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [May 7, 2002, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750 "2002-05-07T18:01:12Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/81 "2002-05-09T18:51:08Z")

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Hheeeyyy… does this remind anyone else of the Tomb of Horrors?

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**Author:** ![hello32499](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cc9497/32.png) [@hello32499](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hello32499)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/82 "2002-05-09T19:02:09Z")

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**Ino** , if you were a hampster you could ride in my pocket, but you would have to change your name to Boo. But, since you’re not  
::steps on **Ino** and flings it/(s)he down the hall to check for small rodent traps::

Thanks **throatshot** , the fireball was just to keep ya up front–no harm done.

Oh, and **Kat** , U know  
::nods toward **Ferrous** and **Terminus** ::

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**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/83 "2002-05-09T19:06:28Z")

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Examine Elrond.

Elrond gives me some food.

Go West.

A small bearded Dwarf appears, “Give ffod to Dwarf”  
Damn, spelt it wrong. The Dwarf disappears.

Exits in “all possible directions” oooh, clever you really think I’m gonna guess the NNW one? _grumbles_

Create Chaotic Neutral Character to really annoy the DM.

The Succubus smiles seductivly. Remove your armour? (Y/N)

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**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/84 "2002-05-09T19:25:00Z")

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\*\* Kwyjibo\*\*, your arrow seems to bounce off something invisible on the other side of the pit. It looks like there may be an invisible barrier on the other side.

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**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/85 "2002-05-09T19:30:06Z")

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What’s the difficulty class on the lock of my jail cell? I really wish I hadn’t spanked my naughty thief so hard–he could get me out.

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/86 "2002-05-09T19:48:31Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by slortar \*  
> \*\*What’s the difficulty class on the lock of my jail cell? I really wish I hadn’t spanked my naughty thief so hard–he could get me out. \*\*

Getting out your “naughty thief” in public gets you 2 years in these parts, buckaroo! 😉

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**Author:** ![hello32499](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cc9497/32.png) [@hello32499](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hello32499)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/87 "2002-05-09T19:51:43Z")

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::cast magic missle through the barrier watching for distortions to judge the width of the barrier::

Hey guys stand within 5 feet of me, and be patience mass teleport takes time.  
::prepares mass teleport for entire party, target: 5 feet on the other side of the barrier::

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**Author:** ![hello32499](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cc9497/32.png) [@hello32499](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hello32499)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/88 "2002-05-09T19:53:56Z")

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I really need **Legomancer** to rule on the mass teleport some DMs don’t like 'em. Just remember I only have one memorized, and I’ll prolly need a nap after I’m done cast this one.

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**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/89 "2002-05-09T20:06:44Z")

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Sheesh! Mass Teleport!

Don’t they teach a simple Dispel Magic in wizard’s school anymore?

I’ll take another sip from the flask and stand well back from the overzealous spellcaster yonder.

_hic!_

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**Author:** ![hello32499](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cc9497/32.png) [@hello32499](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hello32499)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/90 "2002-05-09T20:28:42Z")

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Even if we dispel the barrier do you plan on jumping over a pit full of spike.

Geesh, now back to my chanting and wild hand movements for mass teleport.

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**Author:** ![hello32499](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cc9497/32.png) [@hello32499](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hello32499)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/91 "2002-05-09T20:33:00Z")

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U know, we all have out characters to play–mine just happens to be a newbee wizards (high intelligent low wisdom or maybe that’s backwards and I’m too lazy to get out my character sheets)

I just like to cast things to look at the pretty colours.

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**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/92 "2002-05-09T20:35:59Z")

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I’m just saying, why waste one of your best spells just to get into the bleedin’ dungeon? Lets try a few simpler methods first and try to save the big guns for later.

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**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/93 "2002-05-09T20:39:58Z")

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(rolls dice). Ooooh…slight misfire. The party is now in a room measuring about 60’ by 40’. Fromt he stonework it looks like tyou’re still in the tomb, just elsewhere in it. There is a set of wooden double doors on the wall in front of you.

The room itself looks like it may be intended for some kind of ritual. Stone pillar every ten feet support the roof, and there are rows of heavy wooden benches facing an altar.

(rolls) The cleric’s religion check succeeds. This is an altar to Nerull, an evil god. There are long-dried stains on the stone slab of the altar. Rotting tapestries with symbols of Nerull line the walls.

However, the temple seems to be long-abandoned in its original purposes, and is now instead home to some kind of creature. Emerging from a nest of rotting clothes and other filth is a large creature with a sort of caterpillar-like body, many legs, and a face full of tentacles. **Ferrous** you recognize this critter as a Carrion Crawler.  
Roll for initiative.

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**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/94 "2002-05-09T20:41:06Z")

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Besides, are you sure you can teleport through that thing? I don’t want my constituent atoms smeared across that there invisible wall.

Here, have some brandy.

After I take one more small sip…

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**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/95 "2002-05-09T20:46:15Z")

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Eep! Too late.

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**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/96 "2002-05-09T20:53:26Z")

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Thank god I’m a chipmunk. I’m going to scamper under a wooden bench far from the action and wait for the fireworks to settle down.

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**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/97 "2002-05-09T20:55:47Z")

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Gee. Thanks, wizzard.

I’ll take a few steps back behind somebody with a weapon (unless it’s a whip) and wonder why bard clothes don’t come in camoflage.

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**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/98 "2002-05-09T20:58:11Z")

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Oh, hell.

I’m gonna chop me some tentacles. Attack!

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**Author:** ![hello32499](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cc9497/32.png) [@hello32499](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hello32499)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/99 "2002-05-09T20:58:13Z")

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Look guys, stuff to kill!

::stone skin contingency goes off::

steps back behind all but one of the fighters and people with sharp weapons

::cast immolation arrow at the creepy thing::

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**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\
**Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-d-d/107750/100 "2002-05-09T21:35:01Z")

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I’m gonna search the room for a way out, or a secret room even. (Plus any other goodies we might find…)

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