# SDMB Diplomacy World Championship **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 11, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571 "2005-11-11T14:24:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/41 "2005-11-17T12:54:41Z")
I’ve sent you a couple of emails, but I haven’t gotten a reply. Am I in? I want play. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/42 "2005-11-17T13:08:44Z")
I was hoping to wait to make the announcement when both are filled. But I’ll take care of it today. And yes, Alan, you’re in. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/43 "2005-11-17T19:51:42Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > C’mon people! I’m itching for world domination here! Well I think you are going to have to limit your domination to Europe. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/44 "2005-11-17T20:00:30Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Well I think you are going to have to limit your domination to Europe. There are other parts of the world? ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/45 "2005-11-17T21:24:27Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > There are other parts of the world? Nothing too important but then again you are also forgetting about Switzerland. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/46 "2005-11-17T21:48:27Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Nothing too important but then again you are also forgetting about Switzerland. Switzerland is at least geographically, if not geopolitically, part of Europe. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/47 "2005-11-17T21:58:28Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Nothing too important but then again you are also forgetting about Switzerland. Oh, I’ll dominate Switzerland too. You just wait and see. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/48 "2005-11-17T22:04:17Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > Oh, I’ll dominate Switzerland too. You just wait and see. Oh yeah? [These](http://members.dslextreme.com/users/markpoyser/uggabugga/2003/swiss-guard.jpg) guys might have something to say about it. > [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Switzerland is at least geographically, if not geopolitically, part of Europe. Yep but you can’t conquer it in Dimplomacy. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/49 "2005-11-18T02:04:29Z")
_It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. –George Bernard Shaw_ Hello all and welcome to the first ever SDMB Diplomacy Tournament. By your skill, cunning, and raw ability to lie with a straight face one of you will emerge the ultimate victor with Diplomacy bragging rights until the next tourney (whenever that is). _Getting yourself on someone’s good side gives your knife the best possible access to his back. –Manus Hand_ I’ve set up the pages for the games here: [http://www.wooleysark.com/dip](http://www.wooleysark.com/dip) Note that I’m trying to keep both games on the same schedule. Tamper with that at your own risk. Spring 1901 orders are due at 9AM Eastern US Time on Wednesday, November 30, 2005. Feel free to get orders in earlier but even following that you can change them until the deadline. _Trust everybody, but cut the cards. –Finley Peter Donne_ I can be contacted with rules questions most days and I’ll gladly answer. Strategy questions I’ll dodge. I do heartily recommend you get to know this site: [http://www.diplom.org](http://www.diplom.org) The diplomatic pouch is the single best source of information on diplomacy available. The rookies among us should use it well. You may begin negotiating…now. _Diplomacy: The art of saying “Nice doggie” until you can find a rock. –Wynn Catlin_ ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/50 "2005-11-18T13:08:32Z")
I was just thinking to myself the other day… I don’t think that I’ve ever played Italy (I don’t recall ever having played France, either, but maybe next round). Good luck to everyone! Just to have a recap in this thread: Game 1: \*\* Germany: Kyyrewyyoae France: Wevets England: Lno Turkey: Treis Italy: Shibboleth Austria: Priceguy Russia: CapnPitt \*\* Game 2: \*\*Germany: Omniscient France: RTFirefly England: Malacandra Turkey: Alan Smithee Italy: Saoirse Austria: John Corrado Russia: Munch \*\* I don’t know that much about the folks in my group, yet, but that second group looks deadly. Beware the dwarf! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/51 "2005-11-18T16:27:21Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > I was just thinking to myself the other day… I don’t think that I’ve ever played Italy (I don’t recall ever having played France, either, but maybe next round). > Good luck to everyone! > > Just to have a recap in this thread: > > Game 1: > \*\* > Germany: Kyyrewyyoae > France: Wevets > England: Lno > Turkey: Treis > Italy: Shibboleth > Austria: Priceguy > Russia: CapnPitt > \*\* > Game 2: > > \*\*Germany: Omniscient > France: RTFirefly > England: Malacandra > Turkey: Alan Smithee > Italy: Saoirse > Austria: John Corrado > Russia: Munch > \*\* > > I don’t know that much about the folks in my group, yet, but that second group looks deadly. > Beware the dwarf! Deadly? ::blanches:: Ah well, I’ll just have to hope. And as I once said to Manus Hand, “Stab me? Ha, you may never be good eno **ak!** ” ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/52 "2005-11-18T17:19:05Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > I > > Game 2: > > \*\*Germany: Omniscient > France: RTFirefly > England: Malacandra > Turkey: Alan Smithee > Italy: Saoirse > Austria: John Corrado > Russia: Munch > \*\* > > I don’t know that much about the folks in my group, yet, but that second group looks deadly. > Beware the dwarf! woohoo! Italy! ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/53 "2005-11-18T20:51:18Z")
Ah, Europe on the dawn of the twentieth century! Age of Reason & Enlightenment! Epitome of all that is Civilized and Orderly! Bearer of the White Man’s Burden! …what could possibly go wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/54 "2005-11-18T22:04:27Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Deadly? ::blanches:: Ah well, I’ll just have to hope. > > And as I once said to Manus Hand, “Stab me? Ha, you may never be good eno **ak!** ” You know Manus? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2005, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/55 "2005-11-27T13:07:43Z")
The Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey (aka France) is in the house. The question is, who will he surrender to? Will it be one of his neighbors, such as England, Germany, or Italy? Or will it, in some bizarre twist, be to a Great Power on the other side of the board, such as Russia, Turkey, or Austria? When it comes to the French, you can never tell. But you can at least be sure that they will taunt you a second time, even as they’re surrendering to you. That’s how they are. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2005, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/56 "2005-11-27T14:03:30Z")
What is this? Some sort of oddball Firesign-Python-Marx thing? My head hurts. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/57 "2005-11-27T15:49:09Z")
> [@Jonathan Chance](#): > > What is this? Some sort of oddball Firesign-Python-Marx thing? > > My head hurts. I think the phrase “Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey” originated with _The Simpsons_, and was popularized during the run-up to the Iraq debacle. The rest is just riffing off that, although the “taunt you a second time” is from Monty Python. See? Nothing to it. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/58 "2005-11-28T05:54:35Z")
Greetings, fellow rulers, chieftans, magistrates, mugwumps, panjandrums, kahunas, kingpins, nabobs, emperors, potentates, tyrants, dictators, big cheeses, and patricians! I apologize for the untimeliness of my diplomatic epistles. Communication has been disrupted by the recent celebration of our great national holiday. This day is marked by feasting and jubilation throughout the great Ottoman Empire. So far beyond compare are these feasts, and so great in glory is this day above all others, that I believe in time the mightiest of nations will indulge in celebrating this festival, no doubt diguising it and adapting it so as to appear as part of the national mythology of that country. But the wise will know the truth–this holiday will be among the treasures bequeathed to the world by the magnificent Ottoman Empire: The Day of Celebration in Recognition of the Greatness of the Ottoman Empire and Its People, or, as it is colloquially known, “Turkey Day”. Now that Turkey Day is over and I have returned from travelling among my people, I again have access to the channels of diplomatic communication. Those among you who await my missives will soon receive them. Padishah, Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, Caliph of Islam, Sovereign of the House of Osman, Sultan of Sultans, Khan of Khans, Commander of the Faithful and Successor of the Prophet of the Lord of the Universe, Abd-ul-Smithee I ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/59 "2005-11-28T10:50:31Z")
> [@Jonathan Chance](#): > > You know Manus? Well, not in the _biblical_ sense, but we exchanged an email once upon a time when I got into a game on [www.diplom.org](http://www.diplom.org). England, eh? Haven’t played England for years… ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571/60 "2005-11-28T12:31:19Z")
Dang - that’ll teach me to take a break from the Dope for a week!! Email sent, just in case a vacancy arises or a third game starts… Grim [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-diplomacy-world-championship/330571.md?page=4)