# SDMB Flyting Competition, part 1: Limericks \[Game Over\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [September 18, 2011, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755 "2011-09-18T23:12:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/1 "2011-09-18T23:12:13Z")
[Flyting](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flyting) is the closest term to what this is all about. It’s about halfway between a rap battle and a poetry slam. They can be a whole lot of fun, so we’ll give it a try here. If the limerick version works out, we’ll follow it up with other poetry forms. **THE RULES:** [ol] [li]Every response in the thread must be in the form of a limerick. Please [look it up](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_%28poetry%29) if you’re not sure what that is.[/li][li]All posts must be original limericks, written just for this contest.[/li][li]Your post must insult the previous poster and/or the previous poster’s limerick. Our normal insult rules in this forum are suspended in this thread (by posting in this thread, you are implicitly granting permission to the next person to insult you).[/li][li]You may insult ONLY the person who made the previous post.[/li][li]Don’t be mean, drag in subjects from other threads, or get overly personal. This is supposed to be _fun_! The Game Room mods will have final say over what “mean” means ;)[/li][li]The contest will run for one week from the time of this OP. After that time, we will close the contest and open a new thread to vote for winners. You do not have to participate to vote.[/li][li]You may post as many “slam” limericks in the thread as you wish, but don’t post two in a row. Let someone else post in between.[/li][/ol] Since there’s no previous poster for me to go after, I’ll just toss out something to get you started… ```auto Here's the first verse in the thread, It's quick; off the top of my head. It's a throwaway verse, Simple and terse, Now, insult 'till the cowards have fled! ``` ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/2 "2011-09-19T04:47:51Z")
There was a Wombat who said “that’ll be fun; just like a rap battle!” Well I say good luck having one that don’t suck on a site that’s as white as Seattle. ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/3 "2011-09-19T05:05:56Z")
[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:1, topic:596755”] [Flyting](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flyting) is the closest term to what this is all about. It’s about halfway between a rap battle and a poetry slam. They can be a whole lot of fun, so we’ll give it a try here. If the limerick version works out, we’ll follow it up with other poetry forms. **THE RULES:** [ol] [li]Every response in the thread must be in the form of a limerick. Please [look it up](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_%28poetry%29) if you’re not sure what that is.[/li][li]All posts must be original limericks, written just for this contest.[/li][li]Your post must insult the previous poster and/or the previous poster’s limerick. Our normal insult rules in this forum are suspended in this thread (by posting in this thread, you are implicitly granting permission to the next person to insult you).[/li][li]You may insult ONLY the person who made the previous post.[/li][li]Don’t be mean, drag in subjects from other threads, or get overly personal. This is supposed to be _fun_! The Game Room mods will have final say over what “mean” means ;)[/li][li]The contest will run for one week from the time of this OP. After that time, we will close the contest and open a new thread to vote for winners. You do not have to participate to vote.[/li][li]You may post as many “slam” limericks in the thread as you wish, but don’t post two in a row. Let someone else post in between.[/li][/ol] Since there’s no previous poster for me to go after, I’ll just toss out something to get you started… ```auto Here's the first verse in the thread, It's quick; off the top of my head. It's a throwaway verse, Simple and terse, Now, insult 'till the cowards have fled! ``` [/QUOTE] There once was a man from Montana, Who enjoyed anal sex with bananas, The black spots were from, A dirty rectum, Not a fruit with ripening factors ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/4 "2011-09-19T10:14:47Z")
> [@MadTheSwine](#): > > There once was a man from Montana, > Who enjoyed anal sex with bananas, > The black spots were from, > A dirty rectum, > Not a fruit with ripening factors That poem composed by a Swine name of **Mad** had a dodgy last line The problem is “factor” He shoulda gone back ta The drawing board cos it don’t rhyme! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/5 "2011-09-19T11:56:36Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > That poem composed by a Swine > name of **Mad** had a dodgy last line > The problem is “factor” > He shoulda gone back ta > The drawing board cos it don’t rhyme! You may think that you’re rockin’ and rollin’ But be careful your head’s not too swollen; From the view I have here It does rather appear That you’ve got a “pho” stuck in your “colon”. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/6 "2011-09-19T15:05:08Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > You may think that you’re rockin’ and rollin’ > But be careful your head’s not too swollen; > From the view I have here > It does rather appear > That you’ve got a “pho” stuck in your “colon”. I’d never want to go on a date With a Doper who’s called “Gyrate” I like my men clean, But his rhymins obscene. How low can this lousy guy rate? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/7 "2011-09-19T19:51:08Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I’d never want to go on a date > With a Doper who’s called “Gyrate” > I like my men clean, > But his rhymins obscene. > How low can this lousy guy rate? On reading this rhyme, with a sneer, “Date Annie?” - thought I - "huh, no fear "She may be full of class, "She may have a cute ass, “But she comes only once every year!” ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/8 "2011-09-19T20:10:10Z")
You say you’ll find no satiation in only **Ann** -ual conjugation but if it’s true what they say, then it’s only fair play, since she would get total deflation. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/9 "2011-09-19T20:20:02Z")
So, the man who at birth was named James thinks he’ll easily win rhyming games. But I’ll bet when poor Jimmy isn’t granted a “gimme” it’s his Chitwood he turns to and blames. ---
**Author:** ![JMLVT68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a9a28c/32.png) [@JMLVT68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JMLVT68)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/10 "2011-09-20T15:29:40Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > So, the man who at birth was named James > thinks he’ll easily win rhyming games. > But I’ll bet when poor Jimmy > isn’t granted a “gimme” > it’s his Chitwood he turns to and blames. Asimovian would like us to think (as his handle implies with a wink) of Isaac, he of book; we should hence overlook that his rhymes, like his sh\*t, oft do stink ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/11 "2011-09-22T09:38:51Z")
> [@JMLVT68](#): > > Asimovian would like us to think > (as his handle implies with a wink) > of Isaac, he of book; > we should hence overlook > that his rhymes, like his sh\*t, oft do stink The handle **JMLVT** **68** isn’t great, do you see? A name without vowels Is a pain in the bowels For the poets of SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/12 "2011-09-22T12:42:07Z")
Friend **Colophon** (that well-known pranker) After good rhymes would seem to hanker Unfortunately As you can now see He is nothing more than a wanker ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/13 "2011-09-22T14:54:50Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > Friend **Colophon** (that well-known pranker) > After good rhymes would seem to hanker > Unfortunately > As you can now see > He is nothing more than a wanker I won’t take this crap from a **Cat** Who is self-evidently a twat Yes, it’s quite obvious That this flea-bitten puss Is as blind to a rhyme as a bat ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/14 "2011-09-22T17:16:49Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > I won’t take this crap from a **Cat** > Who is self-evidently a twat > Yes, it’s quite obvious > That this flea-bitten puss > Is as blind to a rhyme as a bat O, Colly, it’s painful to see Your language becoming so free; And if that is your best In a rhyme or a jest Then you’d better just leave this to me. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/15 "2011-09-22T17:17:31Z")
Our friend **Colophon** must regret That in Comic Sans he has been set . The font is absurd . For a colophon nerd so I won’t read his rhyme on a bet. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/16 "2011-09-22T17:21:47Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > O, Colly, it’s painful to see > Your language becoming so free; > And if that is your best > In a rhyme or a jest > Then you’d better just leave this to me. Whoops. Simulpost. Wrong target. Let’s try again… **Malacandra** ’s a planet, you see Out in space, where you can’t hear a squee . Your poems are there . “Out in space,” I declare And no good to Earth-folk like me ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/17 "2011-09-23T13:30:40Z")
[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:16, topic:596755”] Whoops. Simulpost. Wrong target. Let’s try again… **Malacandra** ’s a planet, you see Out in space, where you can’t hear a squee . Your poems are there . “Out in space,” I declare And no good to Earth-folk like me [/QUOTE] When for a Wombat I do hunt I think “What use is the cunt?” Not only is it Just a sack of shit But it’s rear looks the same as the front! ETA: not sure if this is really insulting the poster, but once I had it worked out I had to post it! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/18 "2011-09-23T13:36:32Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > When for a Wombat I do hunt > I think “What use is the cunt?” > Not only is it > Just a sack of shit > But it’s rear looks the same as the front! I’m guessing that poem amounts To a feeble attempt at a pounce But instead of attacking, There’s something it’s lacking: This \*\*Dead Cat \*\*just ain’t got no bounce. ---
**Author:** ![JMLVT68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a9a28c/32.png) [@JMLVT68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JMLVT68)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/19 "2011-09-23T13:49:08Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > I’m guessing that poem amounts > To a feeble attempt at a pounce > But instead of attacking, > There’s something it’s lacking: > This \*\*Dead Cat \*\*just ain’t got no bounce. What kind of name is Gyrate? It’s oddness makes us quite irate and your terrible verse each post getting worse they fail to convey well thy hate ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/20 "2011-09-23T16:42:38Z")
> [@JMLVT68](#): > > What kind of name is Gyrate? > It’s oddness makes us quite irate > and your terrible verse > each post getting worse > they fail to convey well thy hate As to mocking his name, I’m in fetters, For it’s only a jumble of letters, But his rhyme is quite dire - Hold his toes to the fire 'Til he learns to stop aping his betters! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755.md?page=2)