# SDMB Flyting Competition, part 1: Limericks \[Game Over\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [September 18, 2011, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755 "2011-09-18T23:12:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2011, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/21 "2011-09-25T08:20:56Z")
(to the room) You guys don’t know colon from comma; You have all the finesse of a bomber; Can’t rhyme worth a curse; Your scansion is worse; And your notion of wit is “Yo’ momma…” ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2011, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/22 "2011-09-25T09:45:18Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > (to the room) > > You guys don’t know colon from comma; > You have all the finesse of a bomber; > Can’t rhyme worth a curse; > Your scansion is worse; > And your notion of wit is “Yo’ momma…” You come in here late, with your mantra; Like some antithetical Santa; Steal the prize you must; For your abilities are a bust; You should call yourself Malacan’tdra ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2011, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/23 "2011-09-25T16:34:20Z")
> [@Mince](#): > > You come in here late, with your mantra; > Like some antithetical Santa; > Steal the prize you must; > For your abilities are a bust; > You should call yourself Malacan’tdra Dear fellow, there’s no need to shout - You barge in, your lame poem to tout With execrable rhyming And lamentable timing, So why don’t you just **Mince** on out? ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/24 "2011-09-25T19:57:17Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Dear fellow, there’s no need to shout - > You barge in, your lame poem to tout > With execrable rhyming > And lamentable timing, > So why don’t you just **Mince** on out? Still having a go **Malcandra**? Come up with a line yet that scanned, huh? You won’t pay the bills With those poetry skills I’m surprised that the mods haven’t banned ya. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2011, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/25 "2011-09-25T20:51:59Z")
Oh, it’s you, **Colophon** , my old mucker: You missed your career as a trucker. Your verse? I don’t love it, So take it and shove it! (Pathetically sad little… poet 😉 .) ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2011, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/26 "2011-09-25T22:00:01Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Oh, it’s you, **Colophon** , my old mucker: > You missed your career as a trucker. > Your verse? I don’t love it, > So take it and shove it! > (Pathetically sad little… poet 😉 .) I’m afraid this advice might sound terse But resist the temptation to curse Your meter is duff Your scansion is rough And the rhymes took a turn for the verse. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/27 "2011-09-25T22:20:33Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > I’m afraid this advice might sound terse > But resist the temptation to curse > Your meter is duff > Your scansion is rough > And the rhymes took a turn for the verse. Terse? Would that it were. You’re loquacious: But your limerick is hardly bodacious, And I’m minded to swear But I will not - so there! - Though my foeman be ne’er so vexatious. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2011, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/28 "2011-09-25T22:28:59Z")
Malacandra insults Colophon, And vice-versa, and on, on and on! There’s much more to be said, And this might kill the thread, But the rest of us are starting to yawn! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/29 "2011-09-26T04:55:09Z")
**Cornflakes**? Why that soggy old poster Possesses the wit of a toaster! All pop, and no tart, Plus his generative part Is considerably more meager than most are. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/30 "2011-09-26T17:15:31Z")
So who’ve we got now? **Hamster King** Comes giving it one desperate fling Rather late for the sport: But “day late, dollar short” Seems to be - sad to say - just his thing. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/31 "2011-09-26T17:54:30Z")
_“One desperate fling”_? Dear, you wish! Your rhymes are as stinky as fish That’s been left to decay On a hot summer day, Or a three-week-old kimchi knish. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/32 "2011-09-26T19:12:59Z")
> [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > _“One desperate fling”_? Dear, you wish! > Your rhymes are as stinky as fish > That’s been left to decay > On a hot summer day, > Or a three-week-old kimchi knish. This thread is officially toast. A Ham **p** ster decided to post! It’s smelly, you say, I smell Hamster spray! From Hamster sized portions, don’t boast! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/33 "2011-09-26T20:01:47Z")
> [@cornflakes](#): > > This thread is officially toast. > A Ham **p** ster decided to post! > It’s smelly, you say, > I smell Hamster spray! > From Hamster sized portions, don’t boast! A poster who’s named after cereal Thinks a thread that is starting to weary’ll Be enriched by his presence - O, thou loathsome excrescence! Be off to the kingdom ethereal! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/34 "2011-09-26T20:36:27Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > A poster who’s named after cereal > Thinks a thread that is starting to weary’ll > Be enriched by his presence - > O, thou loathsome excrescence! > Be off to the kingdom ethereal! :mad: Your lack of poetical brain Is evinced by the obvious strain It takes you at times To assemble your rhymes Without \*slanting \*again and again. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/35 "2011-09-26T22:05:46Z")
> [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > Your lack of poetical brain > Is evinced by the obvious strain > It takes you at times > To assemble your rhymes > Without \*slanting \*again and again. You weren’t really worth the inviting: Your poems are hardly exciting! You sit there and snivel Such a tissue of drivel - Do you think that you’re good at this “flyting”? ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/36 "2011-09-27T16:46:15Z")
**Malacandra** , that last one was duff I really think we’ve heard enough If I lose or win This contest we’re in Either way I just don’t give a stuff ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755/37 "2011-09-27T19:00:53Z")
Oops! I let our deadline run over a bit. Not a biggie, I suppose. I’m going to go start up the voting thread, and let’s see who our big winner is! This competition is now officially CLOSED! (I’ll post a link to the voting thread when it’s up) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-flyting-competition-part-1-limericks-game-over/596755.md?page=1)