# SDMB Footie Focus: Season’s End 2004 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 17, 2004, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563 "2004-05-17T10:09:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SentientMeat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SentientMeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SentientMeat)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/1 "2004-05-17T10:09:01Z")
Finally, the premiership season’s curtain falls, with all drama and excitement of a fart in the bath. Ray Stubbs resigns himself to a summer’s hard boozing in the White Hart, Barnes Bridge. Mark Lawrenson returns to his second job as a counsellor in Strangeways prison, where his oddly effeminate Lancashire accent and hangdog expression of permanently unimpressed disappointment scours any remaining self-esteem from the inmates, who promptly top themselves and hence reduce overcrowding. Other former pros who graced the sofa this year, Lee Dixon, Peter Schmeichel, Gary Pallister, Nigel Winterburn _et al._, accept their status as utter nonentities whose only purpose now is to raise their spoiled children and worry about whether the builder who repaired their swimming pool ripped them off. Garth Crooks was last seen proboscis-deep in the prize winning bougianvillea at the Chelsea Flower Show and is now on the 10 Most Wanted list of the British Lepitdopterist Society (Enormous Net Division). Talking Points:[ul][li]_Team/Goal/Event_ of the season: Take your pick. It would be hard to see past the entire Arsenal team, and one cannot see them being competed with any more next season than this.[/li][li]_Tranferz_: Who do you want in or out?[/li][li]_Red Thai Currying Favour_: What a seedy business - I’m not at all sure this is the direction I wish football to take. Beneficial as it clearly would be for some foreign billionaire to hand over £60M and take no interest whatsoever in daily decisions, this is clearly skirting perilously close to extremely grubby politics. This bozo merely wants to fill his election TV news with an utterly irrelevant feel-good story to avoid having to confront genuine problems in Thai society, not least human rights abuses by government troops and officials.[/li]Be that as it may, Houllier must now make 4 successful signings and not drift further than 6 points from the league summit to keep his job, assuming he is not replaced this summer. Djibbril Cisse is one, a central defender like Mike Dawson of Forest another. Where we really struggle is attacking down the right. Like I implored last summer to no avail, I implore again: **Buy Steed Malbranque! Buy Steed Malbranque!** I believe that there is still such a thing as a “Liverpool” player, and that old Steed is genuinely it. (I further believe he should be paid a bonus to play his first game in a bowler hat). [li]_Euro 2004_: We can open a new thread for the competition itself, but this will do for a lead up. Who should be in the England squad? I’d certainly put Jamie Carragher in there as a Jack of All Trades, but Ledley King is flexible too. Up front, it seems like Vassel vs. Defoe, although Rooney is way out of form right now. Owen finally looks like a world class player again, and Steven Gerrard might genuinely finish the competition as the most valuable player in the world - he simply _dominates_ matches right now.[/li][/ul] Finally, I’ll be awarding medals for the [Straight Dope Fantasy League](http://bbcfootball.fantasyleague.co.uk/friends/friends.asp?pin=339411&refresh=120) as soon as the final scores become available. Congrats to our sadly departed **London\_Calling** for winning the last month. ---
**Author:** ![SentientMeat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SentientMeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SentientMeat)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/2 "2004-05-17T13:59:43Z")
Squad: Goalkeepers: David James (Man City), Paul Robinson (Tottenham), Ian Walker (Leicester) Defenders: Gary Neville (Man Utd), Phil Neville (Man Utd), Ashley Cole (Arsenal), Wayne Bridge (Chelsea), Sol Campbell (Arsenal), John Terry (Chelsea), Ledley King (Tottenham), Jamie Carragher (Liverpool). Midfielders: David Beckham (Real Madrid), Paul Scholes (Man Utd), Nicky Butt (Man Utd), Steven Gerrard (Liverpool), Frank Lampard (Chelsea), Owen Hargreaves (Bayern Munich), Kieron Dyer (Newcastle), Joe Cole (Chelsea) Strikers: Michael Owen (Liverpool), Emile Heskey (Liverpool), Darius Vassell (Aston Villa), Wayne Rooney (Everton). Standby: Jermain Defoe (Tottenham), Richard Wright (Everton), Matthew Upson (Birmingham), Gareth Southgate (Middlesbrough), Scott Parker (Chelsea), Alan Smith (Leeds). Wes Brown not even on standby, Gerrard presumably to be played on the left. David James is the country’s best goalkeeper. Surely this team cannot beat France? ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/3 "2004-05-17T15:38:25Z")
Event of the season: Arsenal’s unbeaten run? Already been done (ok, so it was 115 years ago…) However, Celtic set a Scottish record by going 77 home games without a loss. Transfers: We should say goodbye to Douglas, Hedman, Mjallby, Petta, Sylla and Lambert. People we’ve been linked to who I’d like to see: Solskjaer, Basturk, Earnshaw. People we haven’t been linked to who I’d like to see: Casillas, Mendieta. Liverpool ownership saga: Haven’t really been paying attention but if it distracts your attention from MON I’m all for it. England squad for Euro 2004: Don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![SentientMeat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SentientMeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SentientMeat)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/4 "2004-05-24T12:47:50Z")
[Well, he’s gone.](http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/l/liverpool/3734773.stm) I think I finally succumbed to the wisdom of this move around March, when it became clear that even mediocre teams with halfway-competent managers could disrupt Houllier’s unsophisticated and almost dogmatic tactics week on week. Here we had world-class players told to stand _here_ , _here_ and _here_ every single time. No patience. No fluidity. No triangles. No trophies. So, who’s the new fellow who might reap the rewards of Houllier’s undoubted talent at Big Picture Thinking, like the French national team who went from medioucrity to invincibility after he left? Curbishley and Benitez seem popular, Strachan less so. Mourinho would be a coup, as would Fabio Capello. Martin O’Neill is not being suggested very strongly, which surprises me. Carlos Quieroz and Inmanieri are other options. (If King Kev had had a better season at City he would have a good shout.) I sincerely hope that the board chooses a “Liverpool” manager - I still believe that there _is_ such a thing. My favoured option at the moment is probably Benitez, but I suspect this is rather a smokescreen - it would be like poaching Wenger from Arsenal right now. I don’t think Curbs or Wee Gord yet have the tactical nous for the near-chess of CL football. So, Benitez aside, the optimum mix of Premiership and CL experience and tactical and tranfer-market soundness is MON, even though he was once a Gooner. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/5 "2004-05-24T13:32:50Z")
As i mentioned [here](http://p086.ezboard.com/fnadsfrm2.showMessageRange?topicID=1033.topic&start=21&stop=33) i’m still thinking O’Neill for precisely the reasons you’ve listed above. I can’t see the Scouse wanting another properly foreign manager. More likely a Brit like O’Neill. Although John Inman’s available… ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/6 "2004-05-24T13:54:18Z")
> [@garius](#): > > As i mentioned [here](http://p086.ezboard.com/fnadsfrm2.showMessageRange?topicID=1033.topic&start=21&stop=33) i’m still thinking O’Neill for precisely the reasons you’ve listed above. I can’t see the Scouse wanting another properly foreign manager. More likely a Brit like O’Neill. > > Although John Inman’s available… I’ve offered a bet on the link. O’Neill isn’t leaving. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/7 "2004-05-24T13:59:24Z")
Just noticed that. I’m game. ---
**Author:** ![SentientMeat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SentientMeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SentientMeat)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/8 "2004-05-24T14:33:52Z")
One should not bet on what one _wishes_ to be true, **Twisty** - ignoring this rule is what makes bookies rich. I won’t take you up on it, but Anfield would be very tempting right now. Genuinely world class players, an enormous wad of Thai cash, peerless training facilities and a youth system in which £3M is invested annually. I don’t think even die-hard Bhoys would really think _too_ badly of him if he accepted such a challenge in comparison to that of beating Rangers for another season. I think he realises that CL success requires spending power like that at Anfield rather than even the significant funds available at the Park. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/9 "2004-05-25T05:18:17Z")
> [@garius](#): > > As i mentioned [here](http://p086.ezboard.com/fnadsfrm2.showMessageRange?topicID=1033.topic&start=21&stop=33) i’m still thinking O’Neill for precisely the reasons you’ve listed above. I can’t see the Scouse wanting another properly foreign manager. More likely a Brit like O’Neill. Ahem. O’Neill is Irish. ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/10 "2004-05-25T07:24:55Z")
> [@ruadh](#): > > Ahem. O’Neill is Irish. just alter the meaning of Brit to mean “from the British Isles” rather than “from Britain” and everyones happy. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/11 "2004-05-25T09:43:29Z")
Yeah i know. I was going for “from the English speaking chunk of northern Europe.” Apologies for using the yank shortcut… ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/12 "2004-05-25T11:00:00Z")
I think Mourinho is more likely to go to Liverpool than Chelsea. Of course, knowing my lack of brains, awareness and basic common sense, he’s probably on every single back page today declaring that he’s definitely going to Chelsea, it’s in the bag, etc.:rolleyes: I don’t think Martin O’Neill is going to leave Celtic yet. ---
**Author:** ![SentientMeat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SentientMeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SentientMeat)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/13 "2004-05-25T11:58:59Z")
I think the Board will take their time, actually. Most of the prospective candidates are on holiday, they still have this Thai deal Thai up and a good showing by Owen & Gerrard in Portugal might entice further possibilities. Having seen many, many manager appointments at other clubs there is a definite pattern: the Board feeds increasingly unlikely names to the press in order to throw the scent off the one in actual negotiations, who is often _himself_ a surprise. That is why I think Benitez, Mourinho and Curbs are smokescreens, and perhaps why MON is not being suggested particularly loudly. It would not surprise me if someone else completely was the real target like, I dunno, David O’Leary or Paul Jewell. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/14 "2004-05-25T12:46:37Z")
Paul Jewell would be interesting - i’ve always liked him. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/15 "2004-05-25T16:00:50Z")
> [@One And Only Wanderers](#): > > just alter the meaning of Brit to mean “from the British Isles” rather than “from Britain” and everyones happy. No, I think there would still be about 4.5 million people over here not happy with that at all 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/16 "2004-05-25T16:14:23Z")
> [@ruadh](#): > > No, I think there would still be about 4.5 million people over here not happy with that at all 😉 …plus a couple of million of us over here, too 😉 😉 ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/17 "2004-05-26T07:15:35Z")
> [@ruadh](#): > > No, I think there would still be about 4.5 million people over here not happy with that at all 😉 ok ok, no one’s happy!! actually in a season where we have one manager sacked and another wobbling, when both reached the Champions league, and one made semi finals of this years Champion League and made second in the Prem, then it seems eerily appropriate. It must be hard supporting over achievers. Even when they have what is (by anyone else’s standard) a fantastic season, the fans still aren’t happy. ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/18 "2004-05-26T07:16:50Z")
forgot to put a 🙂 after the first sentence. No snarkiness was intended 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/19 "2004-05-26T11:04:19Z")
So, MON not actually being chased by Liverpool is a smokescreen for him for him actually being chased… We’ve had 3 years of this crap already. He’s not going anywhere. He’s not going to Liverpool. which top claqss squad of players are at Liverpool. Outwith Gerrard and Owen, the squad is very ordinary indeed. Celtic have a brilliant yourth setup also, they’ve been producing the goods without needing a 12 million white elephant like Murray park. Barrowfield is getting redeveloped, and there’s going to be an opening of the purse strings this summer. many of the older players have been given contract extentions. why would he want to leave now? ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563/20 "2004-05-26T11:25:34Z")
Was going to post more “MON is off” stuff then realised how much the whole “Henry is going to leave Arsenal” thing pisses _me_ off. so i’ll shut up now 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-footie-focus-season-s-end-2004/245563.md?page=2)