# SDMB Poetry Sweatshop - Dec. 2009 edition, Anthology thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 5, 2009, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132 "2009-12-05T21:58:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/1 "2009-12-05T21:58:17Z")
So, welcome everyone to the Anthology of the SDMB Poetry Sweatshop, Dec. 2009 edition; \*\*please post your completed poems here in this thread. \*\* Everyone will have one hour from now (1700 EST or 5 PM EST, however you care to think of it.) to create a poem which incorporates the following three words - Move Spider Absurd - derived, for those interested, from Roget’s Thesaurus by rolling a 12 sided die to get a page number and then a line number. Other than using those three words, the poem can be any length, form, rhyme, theme you choose. I have a list of people whose poems I am on the lookout for, **but anyone is welcome to participate.** In an hour from now, (at 1800 EST or 6 PM), I will add a poll to this thread, and any and all members of the Straight Dope Message Board will have 2 days in which to vote for their favourite poem. Latecomers are welcome to post their poems as well, but once I’ve made the poll, I can’t add anyone to it. Best wishes and good luck to everyone! ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/2 "2009-12-05T22:22:29Z")
Eight legs I move on Spider you humans call me Your fear is absurd My favorite band Actually 'twas John E. Sang about Boris Most of you readers Like how Boris ended up: Embedded in ground ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/3 "2009-12-05T22:33:39Z")
Into a wild would I move, Fleeing the race, too much to prove! The trees seem to whisper, “How absurd!, Freedom’s a dream. Haven’t you heard?” Then just beyond where the river grows wider, I happened upon a most glorious spider. Her web was a wonder, sparkle and sheen. Winking a eye, she asked, “Well, where have you been?” ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/4 "2009-12-05T22:37:12Z")
**Revenge** Winter came to spring, and Eros made move to bring Pallas Athena A good man, arranging a chance meeting Outside MOMA in the rain. But Arachne, spying this at a distance And still fixed on vengeance, Ticked off the doom of the courtship On her eight spider legs: \*Encounter, persuasion, a fondness for Asian; Six months to court, and \*le petit mort; _Devotion, affection, and then the rejection._ The summer of love turned to absurd fall, And cast off at last, Pallas Athena Enjoyed the bitter taste Of her own medicine: _Aconite, plus a pinch of spite._ ---
**Author:** ![AppallingGael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9bd4f/32.png) [@AppallingGael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AppallingGael)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/5 "2009-12-05T22:44:57Z")
Miss M had a whey with a curd, With dinner companion absurd. But what fortified her To say “move on, spider”? Her doughty arachnivore bird. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/6 "2009-12-05T22:54:07Z")
I haven’t been inspired in weeks - A spider has spun a web Inside the grand piano. Sitting immobile Anansi waits - vicious lurker or bored fisherman wishing for a beer? It’s hard to tell and I wonder what he thinks about the web of strings inside the instrument - absurd modern architecture or are humans too lazy to weave a proper web? On a whim, I lock my thumbs together and, contemplating my newly arachnid hands, I hear a voice inside my head… “I’m bored - play me somethin’ I can move to.” I watch the spider slowly stalk, put my fingers down and play a lazy, shuffling dance across the keys. I watch Anansi slowly weave and bob and while I imitate his every step, every note falls right in place. After a while, the song subsides; Anansi smiles and says “That the way you spin a web, son.” ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/7 "2009-12-05T22:56:27Z")
In a dark cave the sisters weave, destinies of men from a loom of fate. What they have measured, none could change. What they cut, none could restore. Like spiders spinning a trap of doom, they ensnare all in fate’s absurd strands. Move try you might on the board, the game has been decided from the start. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/8 "2009-12-05T22:58:15Z")
It gets colder, and darker, and I find that now and then I have small visitors from outside. They move inside, or try, to avoid the killing tide of winter, purposeful and single-minded in their desire to live. I can hardly blame them; I would do the same as they. Although I don’t mind them, all in all, I will not, with some absurd notion of hospitality, accommodate those I loathe year-round - the mice, fleas, ticks, and such; but see! There, now, on the hearth: A spider is always welcome. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/9 "2009-12-05T23:11:30Z")
There’s the poll established; now I get the pleasure of reading them all. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/10 "2009-12-05T23:22:09Z")
Dang, lots of good ones … again. Thanks, poets – I can’t compete, but I love reading what you come up with. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2009, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/11 "2009-12-06T01:00:00Z")
I’m a little sorry I sat this one out, especially since the three given words are so much less terrifying than last time. Next time I’ll try harder to be buttocked. Excellent job, everyone! ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2009, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/12 "2009-12-06T01:49:15Z")
I will be selling fancy hand-written copies of my poem printed on a parchment scroll if anyone is interested. Excellent stocking stuffer! (personally autographed for a small extra fee) 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2009, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/13 "2009-12-06T05:12:53Z")
Much with the very awesome in this thread, and a hard choice. I can’t believe I forgot! ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/14 "2009-12-07T02:59:22Z")
I just want to give this a gentle bump before I go to bed - we have a tie as of writing this, and so, I need to encourage as many people as possible to vote in the next 20 hours. It’s a challenge to choose with so many remarkable poems, I know, but please, try to vote for one. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/15 "2009-12-07T03:13:55Z")
Voted! Very good entries all around, and I liked each in their own way- it was def. tough to pick a single winner as i enjoyed 3-4 of them quite a bit. I’ll keep an eye out for more of these voting polls! ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/16 "2009-12-07T22:45:14Z")
Just a bump, because the poll closes in 20 minutes, and I want to encourage folks to vote. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/17 "2009-12-07T23:18:49Z")
And with the poll closed, my heartiest congratulations to all who participated - there was some truly exceptional poetry created this weekend! Great work, everyone. And a very special congratulations to **Maserschmidt** , whose outstanding poem ‘_Revenge_’ was chosen as the favourite. Maserschmidt has earned the right to be called ‘Poet Laureate of the Straight Dope Message Board’ for the next few weeks. Well done and best wishes! ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/18 "2009-12-08T01:31:25Z")
Yay! I’d do a little dance, but that might be unseemly (and not so fun to watch!). ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/19 "2009-12-08T05:33:44Z")
> [@Maserschmidt](#): > > Yay! I’d do a little dance, but that might be unseemly (and not so fun to watch!). Congrats! Well done. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-dec-2009-edition-anthology-thread/520132/20 "2010-05-04T18:45:57Z")
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