# SDMB Poetry Sweatshop - Feb. 2010 edition, Anthology Thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 1, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797 "2010-03-01T01:00:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/1 "2010-03-01T01:00:22Z")
Hello, and welcome to the Anthology Thread for the Feb. 2010 edition of the Straight Dope Message Board Poetry Sweatshop. (The logistics thread may be found [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=552897).) This thread will be posted at 5 PM, Pacific Standard Time, and as of the posting, any interested poets will have one hour to write a poem - any length, any form, any rhyme scheme (or none) - but the poem must include the following three words - Farming Quill Macabre Please e-mail your completed poem to sdmbpoetrysweatshop at gmail dot com. At 6 PM, Pacific Standard Time, a poll will be established, and readers will have one week to vote for their favourite poem in the anthology. At the end of the week, the author will be acclaimed Poet Laureate of the Straight Dope Message Board. I’d like to take this opportunity to encourage all readers to vote in the poll - although the poems are once again first class, and choosing will be difficult, voting is a crucial source of positive feedback for all the poets. It will be a secret poll, so no one need know how you voted. As an experiment, this poll will have only the title and reply number - the poet’s user names will be in spoiler boxes, and only in the thread. I must once again state - because all of the poems received thus far will be posted under my user name, it may appear that I am trying to claim credit for all of them. Only one of these poems has been written by me; I have neither the talent nor the versatility displayed in this collection. Please - read, enjoy, savour! There are some truly great poems here. Then please vote for whichever poem resonates most with you. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/2 "2010-03-01T01:03:23Z")
“The neighbours say they think this land’s for farming.” His steely eye and smile gave me a chill; His attitude and manner were both charming, And yet, I thought “He’s going for the kill! The secrets buried here are quite alarming!” As we approached the stump, he drew a quill… His forest desk was neatly set - A parchment spread upon the killing stump. I saw the axe, then our eyes met. I turned and ran, I made as if to jump - The leaves flew at my ankles as the net was sprung. I hollered as my heart began to thump. He swung the axe and pierced my heart, Then dipped his quill pen in the spreading pool, Sat by the stump, inquiring with macabre cool “Any last words? I need a place to start…” Le Ministre de l’au-delà ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/3 "2010-03-01T01:05:58Z")
I’m Joseph Harrington Quill around here they call me Farmer Quill Old Man Quill, or just Joe (but not so much anymore) I’ve been farming all my life here on the outskirts of town got a real nice house you can just see the dome of the county courthouse from my attic window and that’s looking out over my hundred acres of corn it’s not an easy life, but it’s the one I’ve always had like my father and grandfather before me my wife died a few years back, and we never had no kids I’m a respectable man an upstanding citizen never had much attention paid to me, and wanted none but that changed when those folks started disappearing around here. Runaways, hitchhikers, vagrants and the like worthless trash nobody anybody cared much about almost as if they’d never been born but missing, and not seen again rumored to have “met some macabre fate,” or so that newspaper lady wrote. Well, the Sheriff came around to my place him and some of his boys hitching his thumbs in his gunbelt asking a lot of damnfool questions I didn’t have much to tell him and nothing at all to show him and eventually they went away which was just as well I reckon he’ll never find my new crop not even with a warrant but maybe with a backhoe You know, after all these years I believe it may be time for me to be moving on. Elendil’s Heir ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/4 "2010-03-01T01:07:55Z")
With a bloody quill, I’ll tell the macabre tale Of a tiny little town where The Crazies did prevail. Farming was the livelihood of most the people there And farming uses water: of this you should beware. It was a sunny afternoon when Rory came to town With shotgun in his hand. The sheriff had to shoot him down. They thought he was a drunk but his tests all came back clean. Then another man went crazy. My God, what could this mean? Something in the water had come down from the sky. Three hunters came upon it but didn’t know the reason why. The sheriff and his deputy soon learned the awful truth When the army soon invaded through their doors and from their roof. Death and fire and shooting soon spread throughout the street And a little band of townsfolk tried to find a safe retreat. One by one they faltered, one by one they died Until there were only two, walking side by side. Will this be the ending or has it just begun? Will the crazies get them, or have they really won? Romero answered one way, Eisner was not so harsh But either way, there is no joy in the town of Ogden Marsh. melodyharmonius ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/5 "2010-03-01T01:10:05Z")
I see you there planting the seeds cultivating the guilt farming your lies harvesting evil sowing and reaping each little crime barbed like a quill leaking poison. oozing infection trapping the unwary tainting the pure spreading your fever pandemically proportioned a macabre existence I guess you never heard that proverb grandmothers everywhere know… In Winnipeg ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/6 "2010-03-01T01:11:53Z")
Your absence is unpronounceable It is as if I were a prisoner of war Released into some Slavic country, Without the proper currency or any sort of map, It is like the morning I woke up With an inexplicable yen For blueberries, and ransacked the fridge Which was full of everything but, And so I ate and ate and felt Not one whit of satisfaction, just a Bit of indigestion, and this unshakeable ache Which I swore only blueberries could soothe It is like my keys, which will not stay Anywhere reasonable, so ten times a day I am searching and cursing and pulling out My goddamned hair, because they have to be somewhere, don’t they? It is like the first dead thing I ever saw, a bird whose wing Was bent back the wrong way, each Quill tipped with blood, and the rest of that day Was similarly tinted with my newfound Knowledge of the macabre, its power To hypnotize It is like farming in the middle of a desert. It is like dancing in a straightjacket. It is like drinking the ocean. It is like everything is a merry-go-round, and I have been spinning so long I am orbiting myself, and no matter how many times I turn around I cannnot undo your death. It is like this: I’m dizzy since you’re gone. Pandoranoid ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/7 "2010-03-01T01:13:32Z")
Stephen King picked up a quill, Penned a story meant to chill. In this way a tale was born Titled “Children of the Corn”. Though, after all, it is his jobre To write things scary and macabre, I ever since have found alarming Anything to do with farming. AppallingGael ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/8 "2010-03-01T01:15:42Z")
Oh how easy it is, for quill-wielders who sit within ivory towers lumbering high, to speak of numbers and cents! “A little less here”, say they. “And make it faster there”, and the macabre metaphorical hangman tightens his noose. No mere words wrote them! For those farming at the fields. A single wave of the quill had doubled their toil, with an ironical remarkable ease. And the quill-wielders still sit, within ivory towers lumbering high, speaking of numbers and cents, tightening the metaphorical macabre noose. Crowbar of Irony +3 ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/9 "2010-03-01T01:17:00Z")
With reddened clouds the morn arrives o’er amber waves of grain – its splendour to encompass strives my fetterd quill in vain. I plant my seeds in metered rows and hope to harvest verse: that from the seeds a poem grows – not overlong, but none too terse nor too constrained to rhyme and form, yet neither growing wild; like corn-ears bending to a storm: unbound, but still in rows compiled. Thus I direct my farming hand with care across the page to till and row this paper-land covered with weeds, and sage. So aid in this macabre act to catch, in rhymes astute, the world – in fancy and in fact – and let my words take root; aid through the grace of readership, and eat the bread I bake; for in his own produce’s nip the poet can’t partake. Half Man Half Wit ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/10 "2010-03-01T01:19:12Z")
We met them at the close of evening, Returning from their farming land, Feet heavy with snow and clay And a sullen greeting for strangers. On the day before, Duncanson took up His quill, and he quickly wrote: “Put all to the sword under seventy.” And I hid my sword beneath my coat. A blizzard came and the night ran on, While we ate with our unwilling hosts. “Cutt these miscreants off root and branch”: To sleep with strangers, and rise with ghosts. The morning broke with a woman’s cry A macabre scene in Maclain’s bed Forty women and children chased into the snow And another eight and thirty dead. “As you love yourself,” Duncanson wrote. “I am expecting that you will not err.” But we did our duty not loving ourselves, Under oath we never meant to swear. maserschmidt ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/11 "2010-03-01T01:20:59Z")
Dear Edgar, my darling– I have fallen on feeble health and already hear the cold bell calling to take me from my youth and wealth. So quit your farming of sad themes and quest for the macabre. You need not hunt for haunting dreams or gather reasons to sob. You will ache for loss of your innocent gem; you will curse the fact I died. And those who sing my requiem, will curse me for my pride. I take your inky raven quill To ensure my praises are sung. Remember me, my love, if you will As fair and debonair and young. Do not let those whose bitter voice floats beside my bier bed continue to hide that they rejoice to find your golden love is dead; instead, prevent the bells and song and keep me close forever more. I shall leave you, Edgar, before long. Your queen, your love – Lenore Serenata67 ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/12 "2010-03-01T01:22:33Z")
Slightly macabre, mostly charming He waits beside the rusty gate. Don’t be late! With a grin that’s quite alarming He leads you to an empty field. Don’t you yield! Sod and sweat, farms and farming, You know the work you’ve come to do. Through and through! The way he watches is disarming – The open book, the scratching quill. He’s watching still! The harm is done, and harming Is hot work. Lay down! Upon the fresh-turned ground! The Hamster King ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/13 "2010-03-01T01:24:20Z")
It happened so often as a boy that mother often referred to me as the macabre child. I would be asleep and see the hand of God reach through my chest cavity, pulling my heart out, veins dangling and dripping like the end of a rain. I would hear father’s voice booming from the pulpit, “The life of a thing is in its blood!” Then he’d ask if we felt no shame? For we were supposed to be fruitful, farming the land, creating dominion over the heathens and other creatures, for which God was to be praised. I’d start with a quick and give a guttural cry that only the most tormented conscience could feel. If I ever had to give account I would say, “Lord God, I served you in the best way I could, I took up my quill and told them you were not there.” mauxlicious ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/14 "2010-03-01T02:07:19Z")
And there - the poll is established, and now I get to read these carefully and choose. Best wishes to all our poets for their outstanding work! ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/15 "2010-03-01T12:53:47Z")
bump. Let’s keep those votes coming in! These are all wonderful poems… enjoy reading them! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/16 "2010-03-01T13:15:26Z")
Yay! Since we’ve got a week to vote, I can come back later and read them all carefully when I’ve got time. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/17 "2010-03-01T15:48:36Z")
Tough decision–\*\*really \*\*great work, everybody! (I really liked having the authors’ names in spoiler boxes. I think that worked out very well.) I, of course, missed the deadline again. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/18 "2010-03-01T16:17:01Z")
Thanks for putting this together! I can’t wait for the next one! ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/19 "2010-03-02T00:05:14Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Thanks for putting this together! I can’t wait for the next one! My pleasure - I’m finding these most enjoyable! ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797/20 "2010-03-02T02:38:20Z")
This was really tough to vote as there were at least 3 that I really liked… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-poetry-sweatshop-feb-2010-edition-anthology-thread/530797.md?page=2)