# SDMB Presidential Debates **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 16, 2000, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108 "2000-10-16T11:47:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/61 "2000-10-17T18:09:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CarlHollywood \* > \*\*Lots of drivel posted by CarlHollywood in an attempt to look intelligent and be a compassionate trollhunter. > \*\* Excellent Warden Snyder impersonation. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/62 "2000-10-17T18:14:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBeer \* > \*\ ***Little Nemo** disrespectfully asks of the candidates “If you were a tree, what kind would you be?” And as a follow-up “If elected, what steps will you take to implement this decision?” > \*\* If I were a tree, I’d be the one people make like. You know . . . make like a tree and leaf. If elected, I promise to make sure there are trees with leaves, because as Ronald Reagan told us, trees cause pollution. Who snuck the tequila into my water? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/63 "2000-10-17T18:41:27Z")
::Thwack:: ::thwack:: ::clunk:: ::splurg:: barage of Portebella Mushrooms, Jicama, Sugar Cane and Polenta is thrown at the candidates. More booze, less talk! ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/64 "2000-10-17T19:41:06Z")
C’m’ere my little wring. Let’s get back behind this curtain and get out of the line of fire. Hey! That’s _not_ the microphone you’ve got a hold of. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/65 "2000-10-17T19:45:26Z")
he he he he oh wait, I was supposed to be demure, dammit! [southern accent on] oh, Unca beer! [southern accent off] ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/66 "2000-10-17T21:24:28Z")
I with to applaud punha and triple for the brevity \ of their answerves,\ and ::falls, gets back up:: furtherer, say that Jester is no clown, but he talks funny!\ PS - we are now out of Absolut, moving over to Stoli!! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/67 "2000-10-18T00:53:13Z")
::::reentering the town hall to a hail of rotten lettuce heads and green cauliflower::::: Geez, take a rather large shot of nyquil and sleep for 12 hours - again, not in a row to do the rioting inmates at this sanitorium here - and I miss logging and drug issues. Oh, and some freakin’ troll party, whom I shall give the cold shoulder too. I would like to address the honorable Filthy on the issue of \*\*Where are the fuckin’ bordello’s \*\* with a brilliant comeback of \*Sir, that is a redundancy and you shall be taxed heavily for your error. \* I also have never eat monkey brains…really…::breaths and sniffs into my palm::::damn… better get some Mentos. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/68 "2000-10-18T01:40:53Z")
\*There is unrest in the gallery There is trouble with the trees For the spectators want more tequila And the agave’s nothing left to bleed…\* BadadadadadadadaBAHdadadadadada \*The trouble with the candidates (and they’re quite convinced they’re right) Is that their jokes are just to lofty And they take up all the night Now those folks can’t help their schedules 'Cause they like the careers they’ve made But let’s just see what happens When they drink acid-laced Kool-Aid…\* ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/69 "2000-10-18T02:06:39Z")
Vote for me and I will make posts such as that one grounds for banning. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/70 "2000-10-18T02:12:52Z")
I’ll vote for that. ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/71 "2000-10-18T03:07:01Z")
If I were a tree I’d be a gum. Yes, I’d harbour koalas and drop bears to er… ‘look after’ the people below. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/72 "2000-10-18T13:45:20Z")
I’ll use a rebuttal stating that my opponent’s choice to be a “gum” tree is actually a veiled threat. To see this, first you must take into account the fact that, when swallowed, gum can cause all sorts of distress in the intestinal track. It must be true, since my mommy said so. Next, take into account my opponent’s nature, which is to be evil, malicious, and eat babies, and you can see that he wants to be a gum tree only so that he can produce gum, and stick up the insides of all of you, the Dopers, thus eliminating the only non-ignorant people left, and leaving him free to take over the world. That said, pass me another glass of Kool-Aid. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/73 "2000-10-18T15:49:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > **SSSSSSSSNIPPPP** This is evidence of my worthy adversary trying to find the evil in everyone, whereas I (as many SDMB members can tell you) look for the good in people. Bring that out and you can make the most evil of people good. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/74 "2000-10-18T15:51:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > \*\*I’ll use a rebuttal stating that my opponent’s choice to be a “gum” tree is actually a veiled threat. To see this, first you must take into account the fact that, when swallowed, gum can cause all sorts of distress in the intestinal track. It must be true, since my mommy said so. Next, take into account my opponent’s nature, which is to be evil, malicious, and eat babies, and you can see that he wants to be a gum tree only so that he can produce gum, and stick up the insides of all of you, the Dopers, thus eliminating the only non-ignorant people left, and leaving him free to take over the world. > > That said, pass me another glass of Kool-Aid. \*\* Blah blah blah blah blah. Don’t you see, this is a voter’s test of your IQ?!? I came up with the wackiest, off the wall answer. Therefore I’m the smartest. So, vote for me, and I’ll make you smarter just by being around. Tripler With logic like that . . . whew! ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/75 "2000-10-18T16:17:31Z")
Pandering! I was promised Pandering! Come on folks, there are \*\* votes \*\* to be had here! Sucking up !! (he he he, she said “sucking” he he he) more sucking up here!!! sheeesh :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/76 "2000-10-18T16:21:58Z")
Oh, wring, you look tired. Here, that plastic chair can’t be comfortable for you, so I had this laz-e-boy recliner shipped in, for you and for all the others out there! Kick your feet up, while I go get you a drink. How many ice cubes would you like? Oh, yes, and here is a string quartet to play just for you, and keep you entertained whilst I get a drink. Jester, the candidate who says “dignity? What’s that?” ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/77 "2000-10-18T16:23:45Z")
Just a reminder that I’m still looking for a running mate . . . I keep forgetting to ask my lovely virtual fiancée Palmyra if she’d like to assume that position. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/78 "2000-10-18T16:36:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > \*\*How many ice cubes would you like? > > \*\* three please. ahhhhhhhhh, (squirm, wiggle wiggle) that’s more like it… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/79 "2000-10-18T17:13:44Z")
Holy Keee-rap. This thing is totally out of control. **Moderator, moderator!** Shit, that’s me. Bitchin’. Next question. This one also comes from **Little Nemo**. Candidates, what are your views on gay rights? What are your views on rights for other emotions like melancholy, anger or ecstasy? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/80 "2000-10-18T18:53:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBeer \* > \*\*Holy Keee-rap. This thing is totally out of control. **Moderator, moderator!** Shit, that’s me. Bitchin’. > > Next question. This one also comes from **Little Nemo**. > > Candidates, what are your views on gay rights? What are your views on rights for other emotions like melancholy, anger or ecstasy? > \*\* ok, so hows come \*\* Little Nemo \*\* gets all the questions? and where’s my drink??? and how did you get out of the handcuffs \*\* Uncle Beer \*\*? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108.md?page=5)