# SDMB Presidential Debates **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 16, 2000, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108 "2000-10-16T11:47:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/141 "2000-11-02T22:00:44Z")
::deb2world approaches the podium followed by a group of baby chicks:: To continue this with a few more questions, the little ones behind me would like to ask a question: 4deb) If you are elected who will be the 1st pet? (on a side note,can I be the 1st pet’s agent, I will be willing to help sell the book he/she writes so that I, umm we, make a big profit. Plus there will be more press about the 1st pet than in the new SDMB president therefore in more need of an agent.) 5deb) How will you be selecting your cabinet? 6deb) I understand there has been much grafting as well as underhanded manuevering during this election, could you provide a complete accounting for how you have spent your campaign funds? ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/142 "2000-11-02T22:20:08Z")
> [@](#): > > 4deb) If you are elected who will be the 1st pet? > > 5deb) How will you be selecting your cabinet? > > 6deb) I understand there has been much grafting as well as underhanded manuevering during this election, could you provide a complete accounting for how you have spent your campaign funds? 1. My 1st Pet will be my running mate, **Psycho Kitten**. And yes, if she lets you, you can be her agent (but be warned, she’ll probably want sex from you). 2. I’m going to put the names of everyone in the world in a great big hat and draw them out at random. 3. Sure. 75 cents for gumballs, $25 for soda, and $45,000 for blowjobs. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/143 "2000-11-02T22:33:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by deb2world \* > \*\*4deb) If you are elected who will be the 1st pet? > > 5deb) How will you be selecting your cabinet? > > 6deb) I understand there has been much grafting as well as underhanded manuevering during this election, could you provide a complete accounting for how you have spent your campaign funds? > \*\* 4deb) I have a german shepherd, a rottweiler, and a doberman. I guess whoever manages to last the longest without licking him or herself in the crotch will be chosen. The others will play his or her stunt doubles in “First Pet” movies. 5deb) I’m going to Home Depot to pick out cabinets with my lovely virtual wife **Palmyra**. Week after that we’re going to select finishes and carpeting for the bedroom. 6deb) I haven’t spent any money on this campaign. I am but a poor college student :cue audience “awwww”: with barely enough money to support my quizbowl habit :cue audience again:. ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/144 "2000-11-03T01:21:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by deb2world \* > \*\* > Well, while this debate has been dawdling along, my eggs have hatched into half baked ideas. And all of them are rotten to the yolk. I will now throw out a few questions that you can catch if you want and fry it up to order. > > 1deb) Have you every been to bed with any of your running mates or any of their supporters, please reply in intimate detail. > > 2deb) As the SDMB president, what kind of government structure will you have, democratic, commune, benevolent dictator, Total w/ raisins, or other? > > 3deb) How will the peoples of SDMB prosper under your leadership? > > 4deb) If you are elected who will be the 1st pet? > > 5deb) How will you be selecting your cabinet? > > 6deb) I understand there has been much grafting as well as underhanded manuevering during this election, could you provide a complete accounting for how you have spent your campaign funds? > > \*\* 1 No, or surely we’d be on the same side. Ihave heard a few things about closests though… 2 A hybrid of a benevolant dictator and communistic anarchy where the responsibility is passed to the individual. 3 No censorship. No taxes. Lots of parties. Open minded approach to everything. Minimalist intervention. Big parties. Full accountability. Tittilating parties. 4 My koala. Just 'cos. 5 We’ll have a rotating cabinet where everyone gets a go. Before you get too excited about this I should point out that a cabinet member’s prime responsibility is to sit on either the dunking machine or pie booth where they’re held ‘accountable’ for government decisions. But it’s okay… we ALL get a turn remember? 6 Well actually I’ve spent all of $2 on dial-ups so far. I’m hoarding the rest for the celebration party (that - in the interest of fairness - will be held regardless of who wins). No buttons. No graft. I’m shamelessly politicking on my accent and novelty value. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2000, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/145 "2000-11-09T14:58:31Z")
_Bumpity-Bump-Bump-Bump_ This is a last, desperate attempt to revive this thread, in order to ask one important question: Are we having an election or what? If not, I’ll be forced to…well…whine. Alot. Really loudly. Yeah. That’ll teach ya. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2000, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/146 "2000-11-09T15:10:07Z")
I think there were some problems with the ballots in a southern region where, it’s rumored, one of the candidates has some familial connection. Then, too, there was a lot of confusion about polls, entrance or exit, I can’t remember, some voters calling fowl, while others calling for meat. and, worst of all, we ran out of tequilla. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2000, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/147 "2000-11-09T21:13:37Z")
a little of something for everyone. Then nobody loses and everyone wins. But if we aren’t doing a coalition, then my vote still goes to Jester! ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/148 "2000-11-10T00:20:35Z")
Umm… is this still going on? 'Cause I was enthralled… ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/149 "2000-11-10T00:49:49Z")
Well, I guess I am going to show how I must have organization in life, even to the point of being A-R. Once again I have been thinking, you know that burning smell that just permeated your nose, that was me. This idea is still half-baked, so suggestions are welcome or this one could be shot down. Suggestion: What we need is a poling place. That would be best done in another thread. The poling place would open at a times mutually agreed on by the candidates. Rules: 1. Ballot stuffing is allowed. 2. The poling place must have a link back to this thread to be considered a legal poling place. 3. Poling will go on for 5 days, I figure that is usually the longest a thread’s interest will last. At that time, the amount of posts ummm votes the candidates have will determine the said winner. 4. Underhanded manuevering is encouraged. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2000, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/150 "2000-11-11T07:17:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \* > \*\* > > 1. I will be a cruel, ruthless, tyrannical, evil dictator bent on making your lives miserable and my life better. And Tripler will be my Grand High Field Marshal of the War Forces with Sugar on Top. > > \*\* Yes, yessssss. I shall serve the forces of anti-stupidity well, sir . . . Tripler I need another beer, and another battalion. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2000, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/151 "2000-11-11T08:05:29Z")
Excellent. Tripler, go organize the battlions of flying monkeys. We attack Warlord Serlin’s Fortress of Stupidity at dawn. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2000, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/152 "2000-11-11T08:15:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \* > \*\*Excellent. Tripler, go organize the battlions of flying monkeys. We attack Warlord Serlin’s Fortress of Stupidity at dawn. \*\* Yes yes yess!! Fly monkeys, fly! May your mighty wings project the power of knowledge, and destroy those who oppose us! I shall call the artillery to soften up the target for you! Okay, maybe I’ve had a couple a beers too many … Tripler Yep. Just one too many. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2000, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/153 "2000-11-11T09:01:16Z")
That’s funny. I’m completely sober. Scary, innit? ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2000, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108/154 "2000-11-11T15:30:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \* > \*\*That’s funny. I’m completely sober. Scary, innit? \*\* _Very_ scary. Now that I’ve gotten out of bed and shaken off the shackles of a hangover, I probably won’t be as funny or entertaining. . . Tripler My head really doesn’t hurt that much . . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-presidential-debates/37108.md?page=7)