# SDMB Slave Auction
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [March 7, 2001, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062 "2001-03-07T05:17:21Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/101 "2001-03-10T22:50:18Z")
**’Seph** , you just wanna bid on me so you can force me to return your e-mail!
[sub]I am so sorry! I went to e-mail you today and guess what? My e-mail thingy has eaten several e-mails. Who knew those warnings that I had exceeded space were serious? Can you send me the address I’m supposed to use? I’ll try and make it worth your while! ;)[/sub]
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### Author:  [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2001, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/102 "2001-03-10T23:07:00Z")
Good God, how did I miss all this?
:: strips down to auction gear of thong, nipple rings and f\*ck me shoes ::
Assuming there’s anyone here who thinks they’re man or woman enough to own me.
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### Author:  [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2001, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/103 "2001-03-10T23:45:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \*
> \*\*Good God, how did I miss all this?
>
> :: strips down to auction gear of thong, nipple rings and f\*ck me shoes ::
>
> Assuming there’s anyone here who thinks they’re man or woman enough to own me.
>
> \*\*
Ahem. A good slave does not refer to herself in the first person, and she _certainly_ does not capitalize references to herself.
Make the necessary corrections, and we’ll talk.
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### Author:  [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2001, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/104 "2001-03-10T23:50:08Z")
::just wondering how long it will be until someone pops in here or starts a Pit thread about how completely non-PC a “slave” auction is–quite surprised it hasn’t happened yet!::
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### Author:  [@Cyndar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyndar)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2001, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/105 "2001-03-10T23:52:33Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Cyndar \*
> > \*\*I did just join in…the ol’ self esteem is at an all time low right now, so I thought I might bolster it by participating here. People like me better online than IRL, it seems. 😕 \*\*
>
> Being there, doing that. Wanna t-shirt? \*\*
Yeah sure. I already have one from the Chastity Club. I’m getting quite a collection!
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### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2001, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/106 "2001-03-10T23:59:56Z")
Ahem.
No, **evilbeth,** that’s not why I’m bidding.
Heh.
😉
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### Author:  [@Cyndar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyndar)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/107 "2001-03-11T00:15:10Z")
Let me generate some interest by saying that I have been in that damn Chastity Club for WAY too long. 😉
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### Author:  [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/108 "2001-03-11T00:45:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by manhattan \*
> \*\*
>
> Make the necessary corrections, and we’ll talk. \*\*
:: looking positively contrite and throwing self at **manhatten’s** feet ::
Forgive this poor and penitant one, sir! It has been too long since there was a _real_ master in her life.
:: grovel ::
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### Author:  [@Sapphire\_Bullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapphire_Bullet)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2001, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/109 "2001-03-11T08:06:20Z")
::whispering to arden::
they like it when you spell their names correctly, too! 😉
[sub]but what do _I_ know, I have only gotten 3 bids![/sub]
> [@](#):
>
> quote:
> _Originally posted by Sapphire Bullet:_
> \
> I don’t have any leather restraints, or the undying love of a certain talented writer…but I would make a good temporary slave…dpr seems to like me [/sub]
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by SexyWriter:_
> Wait, do you mean you don’t have undying love FOR me? Or that I don’t love you undyingly? Because…you know…I could be persuaded. I’m sure I can develop an undying love for you. Do you think this would help our position as slaves any? I’m willing to give it a shot.
>
> -L
Actually, I was referring to andygirl, but I am all for improving my place in the slave hierarchy! 😉
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### Author:  [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/110 "2001-03-11T21:21:24Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Cyndar \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \*
> > \*\*
> >
> > > [@](#):
> > >
> > > \*Originally posted by Cyndar \*
> > > \*\*I did just join in…the ol’ self esteem is at an all time low right now, so I thought I might bolster it by participating here. People like me better online than IRL, it seems. 😕 \*\*
> >
> > Being there, doing that. Wanna t-shirt? \*\*
>
> Yeah sure. I already have one from the Chastity Club. I’m getting quite a collection! \*\*
T-shirts, eh? Well, I’ve got plenty of em, if you like them, but Hell, after reading this:
“Let me generate some interest by saying that I have been in that damn Chastity Club for WAY too long,” I’d go rob a friggin’ Old Navy.
And yes, **SexyWriter** , chessy poetry. It’s good stuff, you should try it. \
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### Author:  [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)
#### Post date: [March 12, 2001, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/111 "2001-03-12T00:50:52Z")
I bid…one lap in Dale Earnhardt Jr’s race car, and the opportunity for her to sit on his lap at the time, and a poster signed by various NASCAR greats for Sapphire Bullet.
Keith
P.S. Oh yeah, I am available for auction too…
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### Author:  [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)
#### Post date: [March 12, 2001, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/112 "2001-03-12T03:43:23Z")
Did I ever mention I actually _was_ once sold in an actual slave auction?
Esprix
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### Author:  [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)
#### Post date: [March 12, 2001, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/113 "2001-03-12T03:56:15Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Falcon \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Tripler \*
> > **Oh jeezus . . . I figured you’d be the first to throw li’l ol’ _me_ in there . . .**
>
> That mean you wanna buy me, hon? 😉 \*\*
Wait a minnit, I thought you were the one that wanted to buy **me!**. I’m so broke I can’t pay attention!!
So how ‘bout it ladies?! Bidding on one rugged lookin’ fellah starts a a $1.35 . . .
Tripler
Do I hear $1.50?
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### Author:  [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)
#### Post date: [March 12, 2001, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/114 "2001-03-12T04:04:20Z")
Well then… 😉
I’ll bid $2 and some hockey tickets for Trip.
_smooch and a hug_
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### Author:  [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)
#### Post date: [March 12, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/115 "2001-03-12T05:01:49Z")
Okay, having flicked through the bids I can announce the leading offers so far. You should all take note that I will be closing bids on the first three loveley ladies very shortly so you’d better hurry. And no, I won’t give you a time: get your bids in or miss out. It could be at any time whatsoever. FTR I think you’re seriously undervaluing these girls….
Leading bids:
\*\*Silverfire: \*\*a bajillion dollars (bouv)
\*\*Saph: \*\*still tryin to compare Odie’s (one lap in Dale Earnhardt Jr’s race car, and the opportunity for her to sit on his lap at the time, and a poster signed by various NASCAR greats for Sapphire Bullet) and Ender’s Gameboy’s (2.5 million and a transmogrifier) bids. Someone please outbid them so I don’t have to……
\*\*Nym: \*\*The SDMB Rosetta Stone, his professional engineering services and a free delta flight (thinksnow) vs. Iceland (maeglin) hmmmmm……
The unexpected additions to the slave blocks:
\*\*Sexywriter: \*\* $932.71, a bad book on C programming and pilferred office supplies (bashere)
\*\*Evilbeth: \*\*a 10-pack of floppy disks, half a bottle of Faygo grape soda, and some yarn. (persephone)
\*\*Cyndar: \*\*an “extremely large bank account” (jester)
\*\*Direwolf: \*\* $5000 plus an 89 taurus (screech-owl)
\*\*Tripler: \*\* $2 plus some hockey tickets (Falcon)
\*\*Matt\_mcl: \*\* a blank cheque plus $5 (freyr)
We also have suddenly had new stock become available:
\*\*Porcupine: \*\*another Chicago girl. Very intelligent, financially secure and independent in every sense. Always nice to talk to and is comfortable with who she is. Loves laughing and life.
\*\*Odieman: \*\* Proof that good things come in small packages. He may not be the tallest doper but his huuuuge heart more than makes up for it. A must-not-miss opportunity!
\*\*Cyndar (aka michi): \*\* the cute and very compassionate vet nurse whose friends have interesting tastes in clothing. She’s intelligent, genuine and a hoot to talk to.
**jarbabyj** the honey blonde, germanic submissive is still available
Ah heck I’m not going to complile a par on all the new people…. Bid on who you know. If you don’t know them search for some of their posts…
Bid now: tomorrow could be too late!!!
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### Author:  [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)
#### Post date: [March 12, 2001, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/116 "2001-03-12T05:25:45Z")
Obviously dpr does not place great value on hot lesbian loving.
No matter. Regardless of who “wins” Silver Fire, she shall be mine. No woman can resist the force that is sapphism.
Saph, you want to come along for the ride? 😃
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### Author:  [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)
#### Post date: [March 12, 2001, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/117 "2001-03-12T05:32:36Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by andygirl \*
> \*\*Obviously dpr does not place great value on hot lesbian loving.
>
> No matter. Regardless of who “wins” Silver Fire, she shall be mine. No woman can resist the force that is sapphism.
>
> Saph, you want to come along for the ride? 😃 \*\*
Okay, I know I can’t be chopped liver with the bid of Iceland and all, but why am I the only girl **andy** hasn’t mentioned? I thought we had a rapport, too.
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### Author:  [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)
#### Post date: [March 12, 2001, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/118 "2001-03-12T05:34:03Z")
Well, Nym, I thought you were already mine. 😉 There’s room in my lap…
Ladies, I propose a cruise of the Greek islands. First stop is Lesbos, of course.
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### Author:  [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)
#### Post date: [March 12, 2001, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/119 "2001-03-12T05:40:59Z")
Andy, you said the hot lesbian loving (priceless in my estimation if it came from you) was FOR THE GIRLS. Not the charity. Therefore it can’t be included sadly.
The girls part of the bid was just to ensure you’re worthy of them and that you’ll take good care of them. YOU don’t have to prove oyurself in that respect hon.
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### Author:  [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)
#### Post date: [March 12, 2001, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/120 "2001-03-12T05:45:21Z")
\
\
\
\
HOT LESBIAN LOVING FOR CHARITY
Inquire within.
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