### Author:  [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/141 "2001-03-13T15:41:44Z")
**dpr** :
> [@](#):
>
> Actually **Fiver** , you should pay more attention to the rules and terms and conditions.
I’m really not trying to be rude, **dpr** , but possession is nine-tenths of the law, and **SexyWriter** indisputably has become one of my possessions.
Her brand is healing nicely. She’s right here in my virtual demesnes, giving me a backrub and serving more than adequately.
I’d let her speak to you, only she’s still wearing the ball gag; sometimes she still forgets and speaks out of turn.
Again, I am sorry we couldn’t have come to an arrangement, but them’s the breaks.
---
### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2001, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/142 "2001-03-13T16:10:19Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by The Infraggable Krunk \*
> \*\*Jarbaby? JARBABY! Wait! Hang on! Don’t… oh, damn… \
pssst, Krunk…the thing is, I’m just so naughty, maybe I could sneak away from Bashere for a second and serve you, if you know what I mean. 😉
jarbaby
---
### Author:  [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2001, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/143 "2001-03-13T18:20:21Z")
After dressing carefully (it took awhile to find the black seamed stockings) as she was very generously ordered to do by **manhatten** , arden slipped out of her house and made her way to the Wal Mart Supercenter in town. It was evening, around 10:00PM, but that wasn’t too late for a college town, arden was sure to have spectators. Not that she would notice as she imagined being tied up with the rope she was buying, her hands bound by the duct tape with clothes pins on her nipples-which was really a little redunant with some of the nipple rings she had-but no one had actually used clothes pins on her before.
Alas, it being a college town, no one asked or even looked at her funny while she collected her purchases or payed for them, especially after the guy in front of her checked out with a box of condoms, a shotgun case, a box of trashbags, a box of shells, 12 AA batteries and a rose. Fortunately she had chosen the line with a very tall male cashier and since the top two buttons of her trenchcoat were unbuttoned, he was afforded a clear view of the swell of her generous brests as she leaned forward a bt to see the total display on the cash register. This bothered her not at all as arden is something of an exhibitionist at heart and she was performing penance for misspelling **manhatten** ’s name.
She returned to her car with her purchases and headed back towards her house and the Conoco station on the way. When she pulled up to the pump, she noticed the policeman inside, and had a moment’s concern. While she was covered from head to toe, this was Oklahoma and some of the residents could be seriously uptight. She sighed and climbed out of the car, exposing a shocking amount of leg when the wind blew the bottom of her trenchcoat to one side.
arden drives a very big car. Consequently it took a significant amount of time standing in the wind to pump gas while she nonchalantly let her coat blow around. It was bottoned and tied but Oklahoma winds are fairly insistant. She had always liked the feel of the breeze on her shaved mound which was one reason she didn’t wear panties anyway. When she finished, she walked inside and could tell by the looks from the clerk and the officer that they had been watching. She wasn’t overly surprised.
Not certain if the wind dancing with her coat would count as giving a hint to the clerk, she leaned over the counter to helpfully point out a brand of cigarette that they always had to search for whenever she picked them up for her friend Amanda and she could tell by the look on his face that he had put shocking amount of leg together with shocking amount of chest area and come up, well, she wasn’t sure, but as she left got back in the car she noticed the clerk and the cop talking in a rather animated fashion and looking in her direction.
arden smiled as she drove the rest of the way home and carried her purchases inside. She stopped smiling a little later however when she discovered _she_ should have bought batteries herself. It was just as well. **manhatten** hadn’t given her leave to play after she got home.
---
### Author:  [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2001, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/144 "2001-03-13T18:26:44Z")
Oh for the love if God!
After all that arden still mispells **manhattan** ’s nam!
Just spank her!
---
### Author:  [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2001, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/145 "2001-03-13T20:51:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> …as she imagined being tied up with the rope she was buying, her hands bound by the duct tape with clothes pins on her nipples-which was really a little redunant with some of the nipple rings she had-but no one had actually used clothes pins on her before.
For safety and aesthetic reasons, we will not be applying duct tape to your person. In fact, it is only to secure the ends of the ropes from fraying when we cut them into segments. You hands will be secured by rope, same as the rest of you. You also assume too much when you make a conjecture about the eventual location of the clothespins.
> [@](#):
>
> …and she was performing penance for misspelling manhatten’s name.
You’ve already realized your error here and the supreme irony of it all. That will mitigate your punishment but not eliminate it.
> [@](#):
>
> she leaned over the counter to helpfully point out a brand of cigarette that they always had to search for whenever she picked them up for her friend Amanda…
Which is to say, you purchased something other than what was in my instructions. Tsk.
> [@](#):
>
> It was just as well. manhatten hadn’t given her leave to play after she got home.
Good girl.
Clearly, more training is called for – you are sometimes inattentive and sometimes jump to conclusions. But you have passed your first test. Well done. You took the challenge without hesitation, you obeyed my orders and you remembered my prior correction about the first person and capitalization. Most importantly, you enjoyed yourself. If you are going to come to me, I insist that you do so willingly and that you enjoy the challenge and the completion of your assigned tasks.
Because you have passed the first test, you may select whether your next challenge is delivered publicly or privately (the actual challenge will occur in private). Email me or post here with your decision.
---
### Author:  [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2001, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/146 "2001-03-13T21:52:07Z")
I was considering placing a bid on **Cyndar** , but she’s shown precious little evidence of submissive attitude.
Not to mention, a t-shirt is hardly the sort of thing one wishes to envision a slave in.
---
### Author:  [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2001, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/147 "2001-03-13T22:08:00Z")
RTF you coul dress her however you liked. That’s half the point. You HAVE to know how cute she is and the fact that she has an infectious smile…
How can you resist man?!?!?
---
### Author:  [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2001, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/148 "2001-03-13T22:14:26Z")
**dpr** - hey, you’re the auctioneer, that’s the sort of stuff you’re _supposed_ to say. (And I should mention that I’ve seen her pics. :))
Now, let’s see how the lady responds…
---
### Author:  [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2001, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/149 "2001-03-13T22:37:12Z")
Perhaps you should at leats put a bid in first so as not to hurt her feelings though.
Women have long memories mate…
---
### Author:  [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2001, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/150 "2001-03-13T23:50:47Z")
Somehow managing not to swwon, arden takes it to email.
---
### Author:  [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)
#### Post date: [March 13, 2001, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/151 "2001-03-13T23:54:44Z")
arden also makes mental note to cut back on painkillers and preview for accursed typos
---
### Author:  [@Cyndar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyndar)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/152 "2001-03-14T13:46:42Z")
Sorry…I guess in one sense I really AM a slave…I just had to work the last three nights and haven’t had time to check the thread.
Anyway, if I am being auctioned off as a slave, I guess the bids don’t have to appeal to me so much as they do to the person trying to sell me. (Heck, if anyone wants me bad enough, all they have to do is be nice to me!) The thing here is to make myself appealing so my seller can get the highest price.
Remember my waterbra pics? I’ll get one in every color and style and wear them all the time.
---
### Author:  [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/153 "2001-03-14T13:53:30Z")
Hey Michi,
I’m not sure some people would remember the pics. A link perhaps hon?
_hugs for the long hours_
---
### Author:  [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/154 "2001-03-14T14:17:18Z")
I think that **thinksnow** got hung out to dry a bit by being brave enough to post his final bid. Initially I limited it to three bids to prevent people from wasting bandwidth with minor “plus 1” bids.
Sadly even the best-intentioned plans can go awry, but sometimes they can be fixed. So from now one you have unlimited bids, but any I deem to be too frivilous will result in you being ignored completely from that point.
Oh and by the way… caveat emptor.
---
### Author:  [@Cyndar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyndar)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/155 "2001-03-14T14:36:20Z")
I don’t have a link for those pictures…sorry! I have them in my computer and can mail them to people…or…they are somewhere on Opal’s board but I don’t have a link for it.
---
### Author:  [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/156 "2001-03-14T14:40:34Z")
That’s ok hon. Anyone who knows you doesn’t need pics to validate you as a great girl.
And congrats on your 500th post!!
---
### Author:  [@Cyndar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyndar)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/157 "2001-03-14T14:44:13Z")
Oh! Hey…I hadn’t even noticed that. Of course, this makes my value go waaay up!
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### Author:  [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/158 "2001-03-14T14:57:57Z")
I’ve got the complete Moody Blues CD collection. I’m planking it down as a bid on **Cyndar**.
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### Author:  [@theotherangel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theotherangel)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/159 "2001-03-14T15:20:40Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Cerowyn \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \*
> > \*\*However, I think you’ve missed my point in offering myself as a slave. Please see my comments re: discipline. 🙂
> >
> > -L \*\*
>
> Although this seems to have turned into a SexyWriter-a-thon, I thought it’d be worthwhile jumping in with a bid for her, too.
>
> I’ll offer $1,000,000 (CAD), which works out to about $1.89 (USD) for charity (it’ll mean more if you pick a Canadian charity), and SexyWriter gets a free trip to Toronto and a hot weekend learning the pleasures of Discipline (no need for excuses here!).
>
> (And, theotherangel, if you’re reading this, yes, you can play with her as well… I did promise!)
> \*\*
---
### Author:  [@dustMagnate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dustMagnate)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/160 "2001-03-14T15:45:03Z")
_SexyWriter?_ Didn’t even miss her.
Now **Porcupine** if you would like to continue your discussion re: ankle size I’m bidding a year’s subscription to the bunkhouse.
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