### Author:  [@Zanshin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zanshin)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/161 "2001-03-14T16:46:11Z")
\
pssst… Jarbaby… sneak out and meet me on the corner of Lake and Wells at midnight… I’ll make it worth your while. 😉
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### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/162 "2001-03-14T17:03:13Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by The Infraggable Krunk \*
> pssst… Jarbaby… sneak out and meet me on the corner of Lake and Wells at midnight… I’ll make it worth your while. 😉
SAYYYY, Clandestine meetings of the naughty slave and the man who lost the auction.
Pardon me…I need to go write a book.
jarbaby
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### Author:  [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/163 "2001-03-14T20:04:12Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \*
> \*\*I’ve got the complete Moody Blues CD collection. I’m planking it down as a bid on **Cyndar**. \*\*
Hmmmm…interesting bid indeed. But, since bids are now relatively unlimited, I shall plunk down the Moody Blues themselves. They have been prepackaged, labeled, and are waiting to be shipped. However, their air supply may be limited, so you might want to make your decision fast, oh great master-of-auctions.
That’s also in addition to everything else. Oh, and what the Hell, I’ll throw in a private, uncharted island in the South Pacific, half of which will go to charity, and half of which will go to **Cyndar** , for her to do as she pleases with. (Hey, what can I say? I was never into the whole “slave domination” thing anyway. I’m more of a hopeless romantic)
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### Author:  [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/164 "2001-03-14T20:41:04Z")
OK, Jester, you’re forcing me to up my bid for Cyndar.
I bid one Time Travel Machine[sup]TM[/sup]. It allows the user to go back in time and catch a Moody Blues concert when they were still young and talented (ditto Clapton, the Stones, and a myriad of others), or Joplin or Hendrix when they were still alive. Plus a world of other uses.
It used to be a Transmogrifier, but I wrote new stuff on the outside of the box. 😉
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### Author:  [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/165 "2001-03-14T20:59:31Z")
Okay, enough of this. No other bids on **Matt\_mcl**? I’m taking him! (scribbles ONE DOLLAR on the blank check and hands that and the $5. dollar bill to the auctioneer).
Now, c’mere, boy! :: **Freyr** gives **Matt\_mcl** a mesmerizing stare and bends the young man’s will to his own:: I’ve a 1001 uses for that tongue of yours! _evil laugh_
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### Author:  [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/166 "2001-03-14T21:01:26Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by dustMagnate \*
> Now **Porcupine** if you would like to continue your discussion re: ankle size I’m bidding a year’s subscription to the bunkhouse.
:blink blink: The only thing I remember saying about my ankle lately was that it’s too damn bony for a tattoo. Shoulder blade, OTOH, is where I’ll probably get one.
I’m sure ankle and wrist cuffs will work just fine, though. Being an Alpha Bitch all day at the office, I don’t really want to be one when I get home. 😃
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### Author:  [@dustMagnate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dustMagnate)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/167 "2001-03-14T21:10:01Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by porcupine \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by dustMagnate \*
> > Now **Porcupine** if you would like to continue your discussion re: ankle size I’m bidding a year’s subscription to the bunkhouse.
>
> :blink blink: The only thing I remember saying about my ankle lately was that it’s too damn bony for a tattoo. Shoulder blade, OTOH, is where I’ll probably get one.
>
> I’m sure ankle and wrist cuffs will work just fine, though. Being an Alpha Bitch all day at the office, I don’t really want to be one when I get home. 😃 \*\*
Dumb old thread about ankle size being indicative of (\*) size. You said not, and I never did get to request a field study. Well I think the time is overdue for that research.
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### Author:  [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/168 "2001-03-14T21:30:32Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by dustMagnate \*
> Dumb old thread about ankle size being indicative of (_) size. You said not, and I never did get to request a field study. Well I think the time is overdue for that research.
[Aaaaaaaaahhhhh…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=42637) 😉
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### Author:  [@dustMagnate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dustMagnate)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/169 "2001-03-14T21:46:03Z")
In my defense I had maybe twenty posts under my belt when I wrote that and I thought all dopers were 12 year old punks on their mommas laptops.
That ‘Aaaaah’ was intriguing: was that a ‘eureka’ or a research-based moan? 😉
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### Author:  [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)
#### Post date: [March 14, 2001, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/170 "2001-03-14T22:03:45Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Freyr \*
> \*\*Okay, enough of this. No other bids on **Matt\_mcl**? I’m taking him! (scribbles ONE DOLLAR on the blank check and hands that and the $5. dollar bill to the auctioneer).
>
> Now, c’mere, boy! :: **Freyr** gives **Matt\_mcl** a mesmerizing stare and bends the young man’s will to his own:: I’ve a 1001 uses for that tongue of yours! _evil laugh_ \*\*
I feel I should warn you that Matt\_mcl has dainty little feet. You should leave him to me.
MY bid for Matt is a manuscript for a coffee-table book of black&white male nude pictures of him to be shot by me over the next several months. the proceeds of the sale of this book can go to charity and should be in excess of several hundred thousand dollars.
I’ll even throw in home rule for Quebec.
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### Author:  [@Cyndar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyndar)
#### Post date: [March 15, 2001, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/171 "2001-03-15T01:53:00Z")
Wow…half of an island…sounds good to me! 🙂 Instead of a water bra I could wear coconut shells.
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### Author:  [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)
#### Post date: [March 15, 2001, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/172 "2001-03-15T03:14:26Z")
Okay for the wonderful Nymysys I bid:
27 Snarks, the entire cast of Friends, Xanadu (the place not the movie), a sonic screwdriver, a working copy of the original design of Mac OS X (works on PC - finally a quality OS), Nirvana (not the band), a cure for the common cold, Easter Island (oh what fun the kids will have with the big heads), the supposedly mythical Great Book Of Answers (Great Book Of Questions sold seperately), 15 clowns, 3 very personal love poems, their very own Aes Sedai, the complete Vatican porn collection, a puppet dictator (comes complete with small country), a seemingly-plain ring and an extremely well-stocked library.
For Saph I bid:
Texas (and let’s face it nothing’s gonna beat that bid cos everything is bigger in Texas), 526 crates of Hershey bars, a warp core, the golden fleece, a guaranteed end to all reality Tv shows, the holy grail, three years of massages, Manchester United (Ok I don’t think they’re worth much but I don’t want them), five philosophical answers of the charity’s choosing (I’m hoping they go for angels on a pinhead and the tree in the forest), a wide-radius hypno gun, anti-boojum devices and the proper translation of Nostradamus’s predictions (pre-hidden verse).
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### Author:  [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)
#### Post date: [March 15, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/173 "2001-03-15T03:17:21Z")
On the first three lots!!!
Going once…
Going twice…
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### Author:  [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)
#### Post date: [March 15, 2001, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/174 "2001-03-15T03:20:48Z")
**SOLD!!!**
Now, who’s ahead…
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### Author:  [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)
#### Post date: [March 15, 2001, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/175 "2001-03-15T03:33:58Z")
\ I smell something fishy. Anybody else smell something fishy?
\
Yeah, I guess I DO smell something fishy. Still, there seems to be something else, coming from **dpr’s** general direction…
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### Author:  [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)
#### Post date: [March 15, 2001, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/176 "2001-03-15T04:24:15Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by dpr \*
> \*\ ***SOLD!!!**
> \*\*
[sub]…MAN, YOU MISS A FEW DAYS…[/sub]
Fine. I’m taking my bazillion dollars and putting it all on my bid on **Falcon** anyway. Plus, I’m throwing in _chocolates_.
**"Hi, Falc!"**
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### Author:  [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)
#### Post date: [March 15, 2001, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/177 "2001-03-15T04:29:05Z")
hmmmm…Michi in coconut shells…?
::wistfully conjures images of Michi on the beach with the waves washing up over her::
-
HUH?!WHA?!!
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### Author:  [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)
#### Post date: [March 15, 2001, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/178 "2001-03-15T05:56:38Z")
Well, doesn’t look like I’m a hot item in this auction. _waves arms trying to catch someone’s attention_
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### Author:  [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)
#### Post date: [March 15, 2001, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/179 "2001-03-15T06:01:13Z")
**dpr** , you really set yourself up quite nicely for that one. You sly devil, you.
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### Author:  [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)
#### Post date: [March 15, 2001, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-slave-auction/57062/180 "2001-03-15T06:13:35Z")
Well, hello poopah! _smiles and blushes_
(Wonders if poopah would mind that I have a bid in for my OWN slave here…)
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