# SDMB ~ The Epic Musical

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [March 6, 2006, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312 "2006-03-06T23:01:43Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/21 "2006-03-07T13:28:43Z")

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I didn’t get to see the whole thing, because a couple of Canadians opened up a jar of moths in the theater . . . and it ruined the whole damn thing. ☹

Tripler  
I hear the reviews are awesome, though!

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**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/22 "2006-03-07T13:45:01Z")

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**Annie-Xmas** modestly peeks in the door, goes back into the hallway, takes deep breath, walks in, looks around, runs back out, starts down hallway, decides “What the fuck?” goes back in, and belts off-key:

Did a quick search on Google  
Searching Eagle’s words  
“Warm smell of colitas”  
The phase sounds absurb.  
Coming up on the blank screen  
I saw an interesting link  
I positioned the mouse over it  
And I clicked in a blink.

Well, it was the Internet  
And you never can tell  
I was thinking to myself:  
This could be Heaven or this could be Hell  
I registered as a “Guest”  
The link showed me the way.  
There were theads all over the page  
Thought I heard them say: Hey!

Welcome to the Straight Dope Message Boards  
Cecil Adams’s place (Cecil Adams’s place)  
Hang out in Cyberspace  
Plenty of threads on the Straight Dope Message Boards  
Any time of year (Any time of year)  
You find Dopers here.

Her name is Lynn Bondini  
She takes care of the Pit  
She tells people to bring chocolate  
And then they can say “shit.”  
How they post at the Straight Dope  
And scream for a cite  
Some posters are real jerks.  
Most are really bright.  
So I started a new thead  
About wasting my time.  
They replied: We’ve had the same people here  
Since 1999.  
And still those damn threads are calling from far away  
Make you post in the middle of the night just to hear them say:

Welcome to the Straight Dope Message Boards  
Cecil Adams’s place (Cecil Adams’s place)  
Hang out in Cyberspace  
We’re posting all day on the Straight Dope Message Boards  
It’s a crying shame (It’s a crying shame)  
Come get your Doper name.

All of the posters here  
We have a secret vice:  
We are all just prisoners here  
Of our own device.  
And in Cafe Society  
They talk of arts and feasts  
And in the Great Debates they scream  
Over who’s the Bible’s Beast.

Last thing I remember I was clicking  
With my left and my right hand.  
I had to find the passage out  
Before I found myself banned.  
“Relax” said TubaDiva.  
“The computer’s programmed to receive  
You can logout anytime you like  
But you will never leave.”

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**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/23 "2006-03-07T13:50:06Z")

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**meek**? Astounding. Just astounding. I’m in awe of the time and effort you put into this, and I must say it turned out extremely well. Excellent work! 🙂

:: applauds ::

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**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/24 "2006-03-07T13:56:29Z")

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**Annie** -that was marvelous! You’re sure to get the lead for the road show.  
🙂

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**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/25 "2006-03-07T15:11:55Z")

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Nicely done **Meek**  
Here’s a click for the Kitties.

Jim

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**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/26 "2006-03-07T15:12:33Z")

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We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!

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**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/27 "2006-03-07T16:45:19Z")

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Don’t quit yer day job, kid.

No really, quite impressive.

TubaDiva  
Hey, my uncle has this old barn . . .

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**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/28 "2006-03-07T17:13:19Z")

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Yep, pretty spiffy. Although, I gotta admit that I’m a bit irked **Cajun Man** got a solo and I didn’t. 😛

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**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/29 "2006-03-07T17:17:28Z")

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> [@SkipMagic](#):
>
> Yep, pretty spiffy. Although, I gotta admit that I’m a bit irked **Cajun Man** got a solo and I didn’t. 😛

You can play cow bell during our song if you want. Everyone says you play a mean cow bell.

**meek** , my review is a two-parter:

1. That was very impressive.
2. You have way too much time on your hands. Seriously.

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**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/30 "2006-03-07T17:47:46Z")

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> [@Tripler](#):
>
> I didn’t get to see the whole thing, because a couple of Canadians opened up a jar of moths in the theater . . . and it ruined the whole damn thing. :(!

Not to take anything away from it, but he did the same thing on the album.

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**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/31 "2006-03-07T18:03:46Z")

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:eek: :eek:

That was simply…spectacular.

It’s gonna kick RENT’S ass when it opens on Broadway!!

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**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/32 "2006-03-07T18:08:35Z")

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Wow, **meek**. Just wow.

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**Author:** ![MessyPaint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@MessyPaint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MessyPaint)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/33 "2006-03-07T18:56:14Z")

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This is incredible. I love the credits. I love the songs.  
Amazing.

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**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/34 "2006-03-07T19:29:29Z")

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::Bows humbly::  
::Takes Annie’s hand and bows again::

Annie that was fantastic!

Thank you all. You are all very kind.

I wanted to use my 1K post to thank everybody. And I mean EVERYbody.  
Those who made me laugh, those who made me think, even those that made me shake my head and say wtf.

Really. It’s everyone here that makes this place what it is.

Thanks for the countless hours of amusement, amazment, and some of the most incredible displays of intellect, writing skill, wit and humour on the interweb.

Just a quick word regarding the wardrobe and some of the sacrifices that had to be made in the making of this post.

I was operating under a tight budget of 20,000 characters. There simply wasn’t room for excessive wardrobe and special effects.  
**Skip** , I had to cut your bagpipe number doing **Proper Thread Code** by Steve Earle after I shot the budget in act three with all that pyro and laser crap.  
Hell, half the song list had to be scrapped.

Songs like…  
**Behind Closed Threads** _(Charlie Rich)_  
**Comfortably Dumb** _(Pink Floyd)_  
**Other Site** _(Red Hot Chile Peppers)_

I did what I could.

As for the time I spent creating this post, I know I’ll never get that back…  
But it was a coffee break well spent in my view.

Thanks to all of you who replied with all the kind responses and coffee spewing hilarity, you’ll be happy to know the kitties ate today.  
If my post cracked just one smile, it was worth it.

::sniff:: :😭: [sub]You love me… you really love me…[/sub]

Keep the replies coming! Just because it took me almost seven years to get to 1,000 posts, doesn’t mean I’m NOT an attention slut ya know…

Take care all.

meek

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**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/35 "2006-03-07T19:34:37Z")

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:: clap :: clap :: whistle :: clap :: clap ::

Frank Jacobs could not have done better himself.  
(He’s the guy who wrote all the song parodies for MAD Magizine.)

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**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/36 "2006-03-07T19:46:40Z")

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You’re quite welcome.

I take it you also had to cut the wooden shoe clog dance for **Coldfire**

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**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/37 "2006-03-07T20:45:46Z")

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\<channelling Sally Fields\>

_You like us! You really like us!_

\</Sally Fields\>

Fantastic job!

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**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/38 "2006-03-07T21:36:04Z")

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> [@meek](#):
>
> Keep the replies coming! Just because it took me almost seven years to get to 1,000 posts, doesn’t mean I’m NOT an attention slut ya know…

Not to get too dour here, but I’m perfectly willing to keep this thread open because it was a great OP; however, let’s work our way away from the post count party. We don’t allow them, and I certainly don’t want to close this thread because it turned into such a party. Let’s focus on what ya’ wrote, it being neat and all.

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**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/39 "2006-03-07T21:39:42Z")

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Still bummed about your bagpipe number getting axed… huh **Skip**?

😉

But your right. No more talk about my 1000th. It’s over now.

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**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-the-epic-musical/347312/40 "2006-03-07T21:46:17Z")

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> [@meek](#):
>
> If my post cracked just one smile, it was worth it.

Aww, you don’t even\* know\*. I had just finished reading a couple of Pit threads aloud to my husband, when he scowled at me and asked how I could put up with this place. I said, “It’s not all bad, this is the Pit, after all. Let me go to MPSIMS real quick, I’ll show you why I stick around.”

This was the first thread we came to. We stood, mouths agape, and high fived each other like little dweebs when we came to the end, laughing hysterically.

“I understand now,” he says.

“Aye, to be sure,” I said, “So do I.”

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