# SDMBKL is an alien life-form sent to Earth to gather data about the natives **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 25, 2012, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958 "2012-04-25T22:07:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/61 "2012-04-28T02:19:54Z")
[Now he has a poll on whether you have an imaginary friend](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=649905). Ooookay. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/62 "2012-04-28T02:26:27Z")
Do as I have done: stop opening his threads. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/63 "2012-04-28T02:58:03Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Do as I have done: stop opening his threads. This is about the size of it. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/64 "2012-04-28T03:11:03Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > [Now he has a poll on whether you have an imaginary friend](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=649905). > > Ooookay. Good example. _ **Purely gratuitous posting** _. It’s like those people that Yahoo hires to churn out generic news articles in order to attract search hits. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/65 "2012-04-28T03:11:37Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > [Now he has a poll on whether you have an imaginary friend](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=649905). > > Ooookay. Wow. Once again he turns on the Question Hose and lets it spew. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/66 "2012-04-28T04:05:49Z")
Somethings just not right about that one there. It babbles like a 3 year old. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/67 "2012-04-28T04:16:45Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > Somethings just not right about that one there. It babbles like a 3 year old. It does a remarkable job of exhibiting both child-like naivete and fairly rigorous grammar. If I had written it, I would be pleased with the result. ---
**Author:** ![SDMBKL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sdmbkl/32/7297_2.png) [@SDMBKL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SDMBKL)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/68 "2012-04-28T05:28:24Z")
> [@Gagundathar](#): > > It does a remarkable job of exhibiting both child-like naivete and fairly rigorous grammar. If I had written it, I would be pleased with the result. Well, I would say I am about the square-root of a century and one less than a dozen years in age. So, I suppose “fairly rigorous grammar” is to be expected. _You_ post no differently than I do: fairly rigorous grammar and careful spelling. I consider that a compliment. 😃 I have always wanted to behave like or be perceived like a child (at appropriate times). In the professional realm, I behave like a proper adult. In the private realm, I behave like a little kid. I like to pretend to make a hand-puppet and make the puppet come to life. That puppet is my imaginary friend I mentioned in the other thread. It doesn’t occur as often as I would like to. 😛 You won’t believe how hard I have been laughing when I read this thread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/69 "2012-04-28T07:56:22Z")
Er… I don’t think we should question **SDMBKL** ’s presence at all. He’s just a regular human being and _definitely_ not a spy sent to learn about our planet. I think it’s best not to go into this too deeply (no anal probe pun intended). Here’s a transcript of his last known visit: > [@Kids in the Hall: "Hard Day"](#): > > **Scott:** (Taking a cup of coffee) Whew. Boy, do I need this. Today’s just been nuts. > > **Delphar 7:** Oh-ho, tell me about it. > > **Scott:** Yeah, but it never seems to get to you. > > **Delphar 7:** Oh? > > **Scott:** Yeah, you always seem so together. Well, it’s like the way you tie your bow tie. > > **Delphar 7:** Really? What do you mean? > > **Scott:** It’s so perfect. How do you get it like that? > > **Delphar 7:** Oh, you know, the same way anyone else does, I suppose. > > **Scott:** Yeah? I could never do it. Whenever I do it, it’s always a little lopsided, you know? > > **Delphar 7:** Well, it’s not like I have any special powers or anything. > > **Scott:** Well, maybe I’m just in awe of how well groomed you are. > > **Delphar 7:** Yeah, well, sure, but it hardly means I’m a member of some super-intelligent race with extremely advanced personal hygiene, does it? [laughing] No, I’m just a perfectly normal, mortal human being like anyone else here in the office, right? > > **Scott:** No one said you were an alien. > > **Delphar 7:** (_Uptight and paranoid_) What alien? Oh, so you know, huh? All right. Hello, control? Control, this is Delphar 7. My mission is in jeopardy. Destroy the planet. Repeat – destroy the planet! > > (Earth explodes) [Full video record of his visit here.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1KWyvL9ous) ---
**Author:** ![secretsmile36](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@secretsmile36](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/secretsmile36)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/70 "2012-04-28T12:19:17Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > [Now he has a poll on whether you have an imaginary friend](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=649905). > > Ooookay. If you’re an adult and have an imaginary friend you should be on some serious medication. ---
**Author:** ![secretsmile36](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@secretsmile36](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/secretsmile36)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/71 "2012-04-28T12:20:41Z")
> [@SDMBKL](#): > > Well, I would say I am about the square-root of a century and one less than a dozen years in age. So, I suppose “fairly rigorous grammar” is to be expected. _You_ post no differently than I do: fairly rigorous grammar and careful spelling. I consider that a compliment. 😃 I have always wanted to behave like or be perceived like a child (at appropriate times). In the professional realm, I behave like a proper adult. In the private realm, I behave like a little kid. I like to pretend to make a hand-puppet and make the puppet come to life. That puppet is my imaginary friend I mentioned in the other thread. It doesn’t occur as often as I would like to. 😛 > > You won’t believe how hard I have been laughing when I read this thread. 😃 Are you that 31 year old guy on the TLC episode “Adult Babies?”. ---
**Author:** ![srzss05](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@srzss05](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/srzss05)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/72 "2012-04-28T12:24:07Z")
> [@secretsmile36](#): > > If you’re an adult and have an imaginary friend you should be on some serious medication. Or are already on some, and you need your dosage adjusted. ---
**Author:** ![SDMBKL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sdmbkl/32/7297_2.png) [@SDMBKL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SDMBKL)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/73 "2012-04-28T13:36:30Z")
> [@secretsmile36](#): > > Are you that 31 year old guy on the TLC episode “Adult Babies?”. No. I’m the square-root of a century and one less than a dozen years in age. First see how many years are in a century and calculate the square root of that. Then, see how many years are in a “dozen” and subtract one from that. Add the two results together, and you get my age. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/74 "2012-04-28T14:10:08Z")
> [@SDMBKL](#): > > No. I’m the square-root of a century and one less than a dozen years in age. First see how many years are in a century and calculate the square root of that. Then, see how many years are in a “dozen” and subtract one from that. Add the two results together, and you get my age. I think I’d get something closer to the number of vodka shots you down before making a thread here. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/75 "2012-04-28T15:18:55Z")
SQRT(100) + (12-1) = 21 Thank the Great Goo that I took advanced mathematics in school! SDMBKL, you are welcome here. The people of Dirt have no idea that several member species of the Galactic Consentience have delegate members here as outside observers. They would never believe that we actually use Internet message boards, Yahoo Ask! comments, and subway graffiti to communicate among ourselves. It beats the crap out of the old ways. Do you remember having to submit a classified ad in a local paper just to narrowcast the location and time for a blind drop? What a pain! Now, we just ‘pretend’ to be aliens and everyone just kind of ignores us. After all, on a planet that accepts _furries_ galavanting about as just another type of LARPing, you’d have to walk down Main Street nude, painted in sparkles and carrying a dayglo pink parasol before you would even get a glance. Have fun. Don’t feed the trolls. And if TubaDiva asks to be your friend, do not hesitate in the slightest to accept. She can sense fear. Do not make eye contact with her as she will consider that to be a challenge. If she starts to make guttural noises resembling a cat that has tried to swallow a nettle then back away slowly with your eyes downcast while softly singing, “Amazing Grace”. That usually works for me. I have been here for quite a while without any lasting wounds. Again, welcome. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/76 "2012-04-28T15:26:30Z")
> [@SDMBKL](#): > > … I like to pretend to make a hand-puppet and make the puppet come to life. That puppet is my imaginary friend I mentioned in the other thread. It doesn’t occur as often as I would like to. 😛 > > You won’t believe how hard I have been laughing when I read this thread. 😃 Well, we’re just so pleased that you decided to annoy _us_. Just to amuse yourself. Hey, as long as you and your mythical puppet are laughing… Laughing at how much you can annoy the grownups? Sounds like something a square-root-of-49-year-old would do. ---
**Author:** ![secretsmile36](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@secretsmile36](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/secretsmile36)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/77 "2012-04-28T16:42:33Z")
> [@SDMBKL](#): > > No. I’m the square-root of a century and one less than a dozen years in age. First see how many years are in a century and calculate the square root of that. Then, see how many years are in a “dozen” and subtract one from that. Add the two results together, and you get my age. Ummmm It was a joke. I know you’re not 31. I don’t need you to tell me how to figure out your little riddle thanks. Who do you think you are? The Great Sphinx? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/78 "2012-04-28T17:06:19Z")
> [@SDMBKL](#): > > Well, I would say I am about the square-root of a century and one less than a dozen years in age. Oooh, word puzzles! How incredibly unique and clever! I remember really liking these when I was in the seventh grade, too! Here, let me do one for you: If the first letter in my name leaves Chicago on a train traveling east at 63 mph, and the last letter leaves New York heading west at 42 mph, and they collide head-on somewhere in a Pennsylvania suburb, how many of the four hundred innocent civilians that died in the train crash give a fuck about how old you are? A: None ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/79 "2012-04-28T17:45:04Z")
Hah, that reminded of a problem I once encountered in my algebra book: It was about a kid in a party celebrating the birthday of the Grandpa: More or less when the kid -clearly not in high school yet- asked his grandpa “how old are you grandad?” the grandpa more or less said something like: “you are about as many days as my son is in weeks, and my grandson is as many months as I am in years. My grandson, my son and I together are 120 years. Can you tell me my age in years?” I was tempted to reply this as an answer: Kick grandpa in the shin and go ask mother for grandpa’s age! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2012, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958/80 "2012-04-29T12:19:23Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Do as I have done: stop opening his threads. Well, he’s been banned, so that’ll be easy enough to do. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmbkl-is-an-alien-life-form-sent-to-earth-to-gather-data-about-the-natives/619958.md?page=5)