# Sea Monkeys - live free or die **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 21, 2011, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505 "2011-03-21T19:52:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/21 "2011-03-23T04:00:53Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > Buy a goldfish to eat the shrimp. Then, if your kids get tired of the goldfish, get a cat. Keep trading up until you have an animal capable of fending for itself in the wild. For the love of God don’t do THAT! You know how bad a teenager with a minimum wage job can be?! ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/22 "2011-03-23T04:02:38Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > I learn something new every time I come here. I had no idea sea monkeys were just shrimp. Just like royalty are people. People with better PR, better housing, fancy clothes, and fancy hatwear. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/23 "2011-03-23T16:13:09Z")
Do the mother sea-monkees have that little string of pearls? maybe you could sell those. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/24 "2011-03-23T16:25:32Z")
Pan-fried Seamonkey? ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/25 "2011-03-23T16:53:41Z")
Ah, Sea Monkeys. I remember when someone tried to introduce this scam in Sweden in the 60s. It didn’t take long until whoever it was had to stop for breaking every imaginable rule about truth in advertising. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/26 "2011-03-23T17:14:09Z")
> [@zombiemommy](#): > > My kids received sea monkeys for Christmas. We hatched them and now are the proud owners of a dozen or so. I read that they can live up to two years. Two years! The kids have lost interest so what do I do with a bunch of sea monkeys no one wants? I can’t flush them down the toilet; I would feel too guilty about bringing life into the world and then deliberately destroying it. Friends don’t want them either. Suggestions? Two _years_? WTF? Impossible. Maybe some wild strain of brine shrimp, but not _Seamonkeys_. Don’t worry about what to do with them–you’ve only had them for a few months now. What you don’t realize is why the two-year lifespan claim is complete bullshit. Seamonkeys have a special property lacking in their Utah cousins. It’s one of nature’s laws: the length of time Seamonkeys are alive is directly proportional to the probability that their container will get knocked over. Um, Utah isn’t on a major fault line, is it? ---
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/27 "2011-03-23T22:09:20Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > For the love of God don’t do THAT! > > You know how bad a teenager with a minimum wage job can be?! Uh, the statement was “capable of fending for itself in the wild” not “capable of rolling over and dying when it discovers there’s no cellphone signal in the wild.” ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/28 "2011-03-23T22:37:42Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > Buy a goldfish to eat the shrimp. Then, if your kids get tired of the goldfish, get a cat. Keep trading up until you have an animal capable of fending for itself in the wild. > [@Ludovic](#): > > And the beauty of it is, the wild bear-eating apes will freeze to death in the winter. > [@Yarster](#): > > Except for the part where one of the traded up animals will likely hunt and kill the kids. Circle of life, hakuna matata and all that shit. DAMN YOU, I wanted to make that joke! \ ;)😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/29 "2011-03-24T01:48:26Z")
There’s a _Cow and Boy_ strip somewhere in this thread with a Sea Monkey holding a bazooka while riding an Alligator, or vice versa. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/30 "2011-03-24T02:10:30Z")
Do your kids have an electric train set? Have you ever shown them how to seperate water into oxygen & hydrogen with a simple electric transformer and two wires? I mean you already have a bowl full of water. Think of it as a science project. 🆒 “Are you Bill Nye?” “It’s pronounced: Fronkensteen.” ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/31 "2011-03-24T02:19:34Z")
Another testimonial here that my kids’ monkeys died off after a few months, even with following the directions to a tee. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/32 "2011-03-24T02:52:18Z")
[QUOTE=Scuba\_Ben;13600439 **GaryT** : Sea monkeys are too tiny, IIRC, to be useful in cocktail sauce.[/QUOTE] They can, however, add a nice little tang when mixed into shrimp-flavor ramen noodles. Just thinking out loud. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/33 "2011-03-24T02:56:09Z")
> [@voltaire](#): > > Pan-fried Seamonkey? Sure, if you dont mind the hundreds of tiny screams… ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/34 "2011-03-24T13:56:54Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > Sure, if you dont mind the hundreds of tiny screams… … that are suddenly silenced. ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505/35 "2011-03-24T15:03:30Z")
…a great disturbance in the Force. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sea-monkeys-live-free-or-die/575505.md?page=1)