# Secret Crushes Revealed!  Volume III

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [May 18, 2001, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840 "2001-05-18T16:42:23Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/61 "2001-05-21T04:50:48Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by katiekilldare \*  
> **Uncle Bill** - Met him. Absolutely scrumtralescent.

Have NO clue what that means, I’ll take it as a compliment, if you don’t mind. I’ll hit PC pretty soon.

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**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/62 "2001-05-21T06:46:06Z")

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Hmm…

Lemme check my list…

\*\*  
matt\_mcl  
Esprix  
iampunha  
jarbabyj  
Sue Duhnym  
\*\*

This is only my top five, of course. I would list all, but I really need to get to sleep sometime this week…

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**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/63 "2001-05-21T06:48:12Z")

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_Secret_ crush?

Nope, not any secret ones to speak of.

😉

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**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/64 "2001-05-21T07:38:45Z")

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Hehe…okay, time to scare people!

Secret crushes:

Mr. Visible  
Doobieous  
Esprix  
Iampunha  
goboy

That’s the Top 5 “crushes that fit my orientation”.

For friendsy crushes, there’s chique and reprise, my chatbuds. These are the ones that would be first in line for real crushes if I were straight. 😃

jayjay

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**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/65 "2001-05-21T13:20:51Z")

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Nope, nope, nope, nope, can’t do it, too embarassing, can’t say it, I refuse.

For one thing, I don’t get crushes. I don’t. I just…don’t. I’ve had, like, two. Ever. Crushes, I mean. Like, you know, in my whole life. A couple of times I’ve told people I was crushing on them, but it’s only because they told me first and I didn’t want them to feel bad (which in retrospect was totally not worth it).

But lordy, I have one now. But I’m not saying anything. Just can’t, nopenope. Besides, she hasn’t been on much lately.

And I’m not gonna start flirting again, so don’t even try it. Really. Almost 100% probability of never. Almost.

[sub]And ‘qualifier girl’ rides off into the sunset…[/sub]

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**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/66 "2001-05-21T15:59:21Z")

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OK, I’ve got 6 (I just couldn’t narrow it down to five; heck, narrowing it down at all is difficult):

Not-so-secret crushes:

1. TruePisces (flirted with incessantly)
2. Tequila Mockingbird (ditto)

Semi-secret crush:

1. jarbabyj (publicly declared admiration, but not exactly crush-like)

And, revealed for the first time, three secret crushes:

1. Arden Ranger
2. Silver Fire
3. Sue Dunhym (I couldn’t for the life of me remember how to spell her username; hope it’s correct)

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**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/67 "2001-05-21T16:54:32Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by UncleBill \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by katiekilldare \*  
> > **Uncle Bill** - Met him. Absolutely scrumtralescent.
> 
> Have NO clue what that means, I’ll take it as a compliment, if you don’t mind. I’ll hit PC pretty soon. \*\*

Please do take it as a compliment. _Scrumtralescent_ is from a SNL sketch with Will Ferrell as James Lipton, host of “Inside the Actor’s Studio”.

But let me try again. **Uncle Bill** is FABULOUS, and has turned me on to K Cider. Blessed is he.

katie

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**Author:** ![monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monster)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/68 "2001-05-21T17:14:03Z")

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:o

I’m sorry, but my crushes are going to remain unrevealed. However, just be aware that they do exist!

😉 \<---------- (directed at my secret crush)

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**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/69 "2001-05-21T17:23:30Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by LindyHopper \*  
> \*\*  
> And, revealed for the first time, three secret crushes:
> 
> 1. Arden Ranger  
> \*\*

:eek:

Really? You do keep secrets well! I would have never guessed. I think I’m blushing over here…[sub]actually, I’m grinning like an idiot[/sub] 😃 \<---- see?

Oh, and sheesh, **Crunchy** and **'punha**. Doesn’t _everybody_ have you on their Crush List somewhere? I’ve announced my crushes on you the last coupla times we’ve done this and AFAIK I’m still virtually married to **'punha** and \*\*Crunchy \*\* is just about my favorite person to get email from.

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**Author:** ![Watermelon\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/22d042/32.png) [@Watermelon\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Watermelon_Man)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/70 "2001-05-21T18:11:23Z")

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Is my crush for **Sue Duhnym** still secret?

Guess it is time to reveal it publicly then…

Plus **TruePisces** is also a lady I appreciate:)

And **Soda** dear…How can I leave you out?

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**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/71 "2001-05-21T19:30:15Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \*  
> Really? You do keep secrets well! I would have never guessed.

Well, I’ve cut down on the overt flirting a bit (not that you don’t deserve it!); besides, I’m shy. [sub]No, really![/sub]

> [@](#):
>
> I think I’m blushing over here…[sub]actually, I’m grinning like an idiot[/sub] 😃 \<---- see?

Now _I’m_ blushing.

Any woman who’s not ashamed to admit she lives in Oklahoma is OK by me! (I grew up there.)  
And: darn it darn it darn it!! I _did_ misspell **Sue Duhnym** ’s name (at least if **Watermelon Man** is to be believed)! Sorry, Sue. And, on preview, I realized what a horrible unintentional pun occurs in the previous line. Sorry, Arden.

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**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/72 "2001-05-21T19:32:11Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Watermelon Man \*  
> **And Soda dear…How can I leave you out?**

Oh, Watermelon, you seriosly made my day.

Smooches!!

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**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/73 "2001-05-21T21:25:10Z")

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After six months of trying everything but lighting my toes on fire and turning naked cartwheels, it finally happened.

Somebody dropped my name in a “Crush Thread”.

So, okay, I guess it’s heart-on-the-sleeve time:

**Persephone** , the Gracious Lady, for taking me under her wing.

**Medea’s Child** for always being sweet.

…and, in our “Last shall be first” department:

The Ladies Whose Fan Club I am a Charter Member Of

**hardygrrl** who isn’t afraid to admit to “girly” moments (and who I’m having a deuce of a time re-connecting with, tho’ she seems to be well-occupied)

**TruePisces** , the Instructor, who helped me learn the gentle and subtle (ChiefScott notwithstanding) art of SDMB flirting.

**Falcon** who helped me perfect it.  
…and all those whom I actually place on the “Admire from Afar” list, just because I’ve no idea how to say hello:  
[sub]…in no particular order[/sub]  
Eve  
Tequila Mockingbird  
Hamadryad  
Spider Woman  
screech-owl  
…and, in truth, all the lovely ladies who populate this online haven. I’ve never encountered a more fascinating collection of charm, grace, intelligence, and beauty inside and out, than I find here on the SDMB.

Is that an across-the-board, open flirt?

Sure. But it’s also true. 🙂

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Deiket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Deiket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deiket)\
**Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/74 "2001-05-22T01:22:04Z")

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Well, let’s see. I have two.

Yes, I’m very picky about people I choose to like.

First off is Jester, of course. Yes, honey, look! You’re on someone’s list!! This is a natural choice for me though, and not really too much of a secret.

Second is MagicalSilverKey. He makes me laugh! That’s always a good thing.

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**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\
**Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/75 "2001-05-22T01:34:12Z")

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Some gentlemen that need naming…  
**London Calling**  
**TwistofFate**  
**messiah**  
**RedBoss**  
**matt mcl**  
**AlphaGene**

and the ladies…  
**Persephone**  
**Valerie Blaise**  
**elelle**  
**Diane**

I could go on…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\
**Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/76 "2001-05-22T02:49:33Z")

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Jester? Jester likes me?

:eek:

:D:D:D:D  
Okay, enough of that.

And thanks, **Tygr!** Glad I could be of service. 😃

Oh, and I kinda have a _thing_ for Sassy, too. Not only is she THE Alpha Redhead, she sent me chocolate when I was bumming. Gotta love a woman that’ll do that. 😃

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**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\
**Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/77 "2001-05-22T03:02:36Z")

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Tygr,

Thank you:)

As Number One could testify-sometimes the emails get delayed…  
And yes,he’s keeping me VERY well occupied 😉

::thinks about things said on the phone and emails and grins like an idiot::

BTW…Stinky Paws?

Wanna play Jeff and Lita?

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**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\
**Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/78 "2001-05-22T03:31:00Z")

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**Soda**! I _knew_ I was forgetting someone I really wanted on that list. I’m sorry, babe! You know you’re on my list, right?!

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\
**Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/79 "2001-05-22T07:45:47Z")

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**Crunch!**  
I’ll forgive you when you send me that long lost e-mail…  
Oh, who am I fooling, I’ve already forgiven you. But I’m still waiting for that e-mail.

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**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\
**Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secret-crushes-revealed-volume-iii/65840/80 "2001-05-22T13:52:11Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Persephone \*  
> \*\*Jester? Jester likes me?
> 
> :eek:
> 
> :D:D:D:D  
> \*\*

Wow, I got four used-car-salesman smilies! That just made my day. 🙂

What can I say. I’m a sucker for hot, witty redheads.

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