# Secretly recording the gay roomate. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 30, 2010, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561 "2010-09-30T03:21:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/21 "2010-09-30T11:55:31Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > I don’t see where their families would be financially responsible for them. What lawyer is going to sign on to defend these assholes for free? No one. If your college aged son was facing criminal and civil penalties, what would you do? I’ll tell you what you’d do. You’d hire a lawyer, even if that meant taking a second mortgage on your home or borrowing money from your parents or selling your nice car for a clunker. That’s what parents do. This doesn’t even take into account the money, if any, that the parents have already spent, or borrowed, sending them to Rutgers. So, yeah, they’ve harassed a kid into killing himself and brought shame and debt upon their own families. What nice young kids. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/22 "2010-09-30T12:00:02Z")
> [@athelas](#): > > I’ll take the bait. Recording the sex was a dick move, but falls within the typical realm of college assholery. That it caused the guy to commit was an entirely unintended consequence on their end. (He did, after all, tell the roommate to leave the room for several hours while he had gay sex - thus it’s not like the two recorders had reason to think he was so deeply closeted.) \*\*\*“While he had gay sex”??? WTF??? \*\*\*Nobody would say “Leave the room while I have gay sex.” And it has nothing to do with being closeted. I came out over 45 years ago, and I’d be damn upset to find a video of me having sex online. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/23 "2010-09-30T12:05:38Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > What lawyer is going to sign on to defend these assholes for free? No one. If your college aged son was facing criminal and civil penalties, what would you do? I’ll tell you what you’d do. You’d hire a lawyer, even if that meant taking a second mortgage on your home or borrowing money from your parents or selling your nice car for a clunker. That’s what parents do. No, that is not what I would do, and in my experience, it is not what most parents do. Most parents let the kid be defended in criminal matters by a public defender, because the kid qualifies by virtue of not having assets or income. Most parents let the kid go unrepresented in civil matters because a kid going bankrupt and not having credit for a few years is no big deal when compared to a family funding a lawsuit. The parents who fork out a lot of money to defend their kids usually are parents who can afford it in the first place, not parents who cannot afford it. As far as getting the boot in the first few weeks of school goes, I expect that there would be a refund of much of the years tuition, but not all, so yes, there would be a minor cost. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Accident](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Mr.Accident](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Accident)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/24 "2010-09-30T12:10:38Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > You’d hire a lawyer, even if that meant taking a second mortgage on your home or borrowing money from your parents or selling your nice car for a clunker. That’s what parents do. Not all parents would do this. My mom sure as hell wouldn’t, nor would my father, and my grandparents sure as hell didn’t hire lawyers for their kids when they screwed up. If I ever have a kid, and he does something like this, I certainly would not get him a lawyer. I’d tell him he’s a grown up now, and it’s past time for him to accept the consequences of his actions, and to clean up his own mess. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/25 "2010-09-30T12:15:36Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > > [@athelas](#): > > > > I’ll take the bait. Recording the sex was a dick move, but falls within the typical realm of college assholery. That it caused the guy to commit was an entirely unintended consequence on their end. (He did, after all, tell the roommate to leave the room for several hours while he had gay sex - thus it’s not like the two recorders had reason to think he was so deeply closeted.) > > \*\*\*“While he had gay sex”??? WTF??? \*\*\*Nobody would say “Leave the room while I have gay sex.” And it has nothing to do with being closeted. I came out over 45 years ago, and I’d be damn upset to find a video of me having sex online. But I tell my guests to leave the room so I can have straight sex all the time! :smack: Here’s hoping these idiots get a expensive, painful lesson on respecting people’s privacy. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/26 "2010-09-30T12:23:17Z")
I read in the papers this morning (and thought it should be so beforehand) that the **charges might be upgraded to a federal hate crime** , with all the lovely parting gifts that go along with that. College pranks indeed. Yes, the charges should be upgraded because _had he not been gay, they would not have thought it such a hoot to record him_ (after attempted it previously) and spreading it all over the internet. My local paper reported this morning that Rave tweeted at the time, “Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into Molly’s room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay.” In the same paper, a sidebar listed 3 other make suicides committed in the last month over harassment and bullying because people thought they were or were thought to be gay. They were two 13-year-olds and and a 15-year-old. Nice pranking, folks, it was Otay because _people were just having fun_! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/27 "2010-09-30T12:25:21Z")
> [@Mr.Accident](#): > > Not all parents would do this. My mom sure as hell wouldn’t, nor would my father, and my grandparents sure as hell didn’t hire lawyers for their kids when they screwed up. This isn’t just a little screw up. This story has been going viral. And these two kids aren’t just going to be prosecuted in some local court where they’ll get off with a slap on the wrist. They’re going to be VILIFIED. They’re going to be run out of town on a rail. Immense pressure will be put on the prosecutors to make them an example of all that is wrong with the internet. Nancy Grace will have episodes dedicated to skewering them. Just you wait. Hell, they’re not going to just hire lawyers to defend their kids, I imagine that soon they’ll have to hire lawyers and security to keep the media dogs at bay. Not only does this hit a nerve with people because it was so mean spirited, but it also hits a nerve with the gay community because he may well have been targeted because he was gay. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/28 "2010-09-30T12:31:14Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > As far as getting the boot in the first few weeks of school goes, I expect that there would be a refund of much of the years tuition, but not all, so yes, there would be a minor cost. If (or when) they get the boot for such a serious offese as this, I doubt there’ll be any refund of any tuition already paid. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/29 "2010-09-30T12:40:29Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I came out over 45 years ago, and I’d be damn upset to find a video of me having sex online. If you came out 45 years ago, many people might be upset to find video of you having sex online. I kid! I kid! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![heatmiserfl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@heatmiserfl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heatmiserfl)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/30 "2010-09-30T13:03:49Z")
> [@athelas](#): > > I’ll take the bait. Recording the sex was a dick move, but falls within the typical realm of college assholery. That it caused the guy to commit was an entirely unintended consequence on their end. (He did, after all, tell the roommate to leave the room for several hours while he had gay sex - thus it’s not like the two recorders had reason to think he was so deeply closeted.) That’s right. Once it’s known that it’s gay sex, humiliating the guy just falls into the typical realm of college assholery. I mean who would have thought that it would be devastating to a gay guy. They flounce around in parades and make out in public after all. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/31 "2010-09-30T13:12:20Z")
I will be paying attention to this. This event is an awful, awful story that seems so clearly black-and-white despicable and wrong. I want to see them punished - but would prefer to see it done through appropriate legal channels. This story just feels like it will end up with these people getting tried in the court of public opinion and trashed in awful, creative ways - and while I can see them deserving it, watching that type of ritual take place feels inappropriately primal and wrong, like a public lynching. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/32 "2010-09-30T13:13:21Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > > [@panache45](#): > > > > I came out over 45 years ago, and I’d be damn upset to find a video of me having sex online. > > If you came out 45 years ago, many people might be upset to find video of you having sex online. I fully intend to sue you for stealing my joke. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/33 "2010-09-30T13:28:16Z")
I’ve heard that the students claimed the webcam was left on “accidentally.” Yeah, right. I hope they face federal charges and a big fat civil lawsuit. These actions are inexcusable. ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/34 "2010-09-30T13:33:26Z")
Help me understand the legality here. The roommate responsible the recording said the following in tweets: “Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into molly’s room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay.” And… “Anyone with iChat, I dare you to video chat me between the hours of 9:30 and 12. Yes it’s happening again.” So, this kid was using the webcam on his computer in his room. It is an immature and horribly mean thing to do, no doubt. But how illegal is this? The linked article in the OP says he faces charges of invasion of privacy. I can kind of see that for having the webcam on without roommate’s knowledge. But, again, it’s his computer, presumably out in the open, in his room. And he didn’t exactly post the videos on youtube or something, as far as I could tell from the article. What if he and his buddies just barged into the room while he knew these acts were going down? Would that also have been an invasion of privacy? I don’t condone his actions. I think this is beyond general college foolishness, too. I’m just not sure I understand the legal aspects and what kinds of charges could be brought against the kid to put him in jail for a long time. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/35 "2010-09-30T13:43:29Z")
> [@heatmiserfl](#): > > I mean who would have thought that it would be devastating to a gay guy. They flounce around in parades and make out in public after all. Are you fucking kidding me? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/36 "2010-09-30T13:44:20Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > > [@heatmiserfl](#): > > > > I mean who would have thought that it would be devastating to a gay guy. They flounce around in parades and make out in public after all. > > Are you fucking kidding me? I think he’s being sarcastic… ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/37 "2010-09-30T13:44:37Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I’ve heard that the students claimed the webcam was left on “accidentally.” Yeah, right. > > I hope they face federal charges and a big fat civil lawsuit. These actions are inexcusable. The accused guy’s twitter account says differently and closing it down after the fact does not make it go away. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/38 "2010-09-30T13:46:30Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > Help me understand the legality here. The roommate responsible the recording said the following in tweets: > “Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into molly’s room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay.” > > And… > > “Anyone with iChat, I dare you to video chat me between the hours of 9:30 and 12. Yes it’s happening again.” > > So, this kid was using the webcam on his computer in his room. It is an immature and horribly mean thing to do, no doubt. But how illegal is this? The linked article in the OP says he faces charges of invasion of privacy. I can kind of see that for having the webcam on without roommate’s knowledge. But, again, it’s his computer, presumably out in the open, in his room. And he didn’t exactly post the videos on youtube or something, as far as I could tell from the article. > > What if he and his buddies just barged into the room while he knew these acts were going down? Would that also have been an invasion of privacy? > > I don’t condone his actions. I think this is beyond general college foolishness, too. I’m just not sure I understand the legal aspects and what kinds of charges could be brought against the kid to put him in jail for a long time. He broadcast it live over iChat. That is what the second tweet was about. ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/39 "2010-09-30T13:48:51Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Waitaminit. Recording someone’s sex act “falls within the typical realm of college assholery”? Really? That’s a typical college prank these days? Nah. Typical would be covering a passed out guy in magic marker or whipped cream, sticking a carrot up his ass, taking pictures, and putting those on the net. ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/40 "2010-09-30T13:50:31Z")
> [@Death\_of\_Rats](#): > > He broadcast it live over iChat. That is what the second tweet was about. I’m not familiar with iChat. Is that basically the same as posting on youtube? Could only people who knew his iChat ID see the video? If it truly were an accident (which is doubtful, considering he tweeted about it), would it still be an invasion of privacy? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561.md?page=3)