# Secretly recording the gay roomate. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 30, 2010, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561 "2010-09-30T03:21:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/41 "2010-09-30T13:50:58Z")
In New Jersey, it is legal to record something as long as one of the participants knows it’s being recorded. Since neither of the men knew about it, the recorders have broken that law. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/42 "2010-09-30T13:57:34Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > \*\*\*Nobody would say “Leave the room while I have gay sex.” So… I can stay for the straight sex, then? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/43 "2010-09-30T14:03:51Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > > [@panache45](#): > > > > \*\*\*Nobody would say “Leave the room while I have gay sex.” > > So… I can stay for the straight sex, then? :dubious: I bet you were a lot more fun in college, Mr. Square. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/44 "2010-09-30T14:10:28Z")
Speaking for my own college experience, one of the lines between “typical assholery” and “it’s time to beat that guy down and/or expel him from the fraternity” was distribution. It would have, in my culture, been just typical assholery to record it–but if it got out to someone outside the fraternity, that would have been over the line. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/45 "2010-09-30T14:43:39Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > Speaking for my own college experience, one of the lines between “typical assholery” and “it’s time to beat that guy down and/or expel him from the fraternity” was distribution. It would have, in my culture, been just typical assholery to record it–but if it got out to someone outside the fraternity, that would have been over the line. I must have missed the part about how the camera got into the guy’s room. To me, concealing a camera in another person’s room is grounds for an ass kicking, legal or otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/46 "2010-09-30T15:01:48Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > I must have missed the part about how the camera got into the guy’s room. To me, concealing a camera in another person’s room is grounds for an ass kicking, legal or otherwise. They were roommates. ---
**Author:** ![Minnie\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Minnie\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minnie_Luna)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/47 "2010-09-30T15:04:29Z")
> [@](#): > > I must have missed the part about how the camera got into the guy’s room. To me, concealing a camera in another person’s room is grounds for an ass kicking, legal or otherwise. I am assuming the camera wasn’t concealed, the participants just didn’t know it was on. If it is anything like the camera on my laptop, the camera is positioned at the front center of the screen portion. Mine has a red light that comes on when the camera is in use. The asshole roommate left a program open that allowed the camera to record and he (and others) were able to view what was going on live. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/48 "2010-09-30T15:10:07Z")
Although the ehadline and report are unclear, “secret sext tape” implies concealment. Even if it wasn’t concealed, > [@](#): > > "Under New Jersey’s invasion-of-privacy statutes, it is a fourth degree crime to collect or view images depicting nudity or sexual contact involving another individual **without that person’s consent** [i.e., even with the knowledge], and it is a third degree crime to transmit or distribute such images. The penalty for conviction of a third degree offense can include a prison term of up to five years. " ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/49 "2010-09-30T15:14:38Z")
[Gay bullying is taking the lives of our children – and you’re to blame](http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-496958?hpt=C2) > [@](#): > > Justin Aaberg. Asher Brown. Billy Lucas. Seth Walsh. These are names you need to know. > > The boys, each from different areas of the country – Minnesota, Texas, Indiana and California, respectively – all had bright futures. Justin loved to play the cello. Billy rode horses. Seth’s grandmother said he was fashionable and artistic. > > But none of that matters now. All four of them are dead – and within days of one another – having committed suicide to escape bullying by their peers. ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/50 "2010-09-30T15:36:01Z")
Kids get bullied for lots of different things. Even non-gay kids have been known to become suicidal because of bullying. Bullying in general is a problem, and thanks to cyber bullying, it’s probably worse now than ever. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/51 "2010-09-30T15:47:38Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > > [@PunditLisa](#): > > > > . . . the subsequent lawsuits that will undoubtedly leave their families destitute. > > I don’t see where their families would be financially responsible for them. If they get hammered through a law suit, they, and not their parents, would be the ones to pay, and if they couldn’t pay, then (if the law there is the same as it is where I am) they could go bankrupt. Their parents will be included in the suit and the homeowners policy will probably kick in on the negligence portion. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/52 "2010-09-30T15:50:45Z")
Actionable in civil court for hate crime, in my opinion. Even if the DA loses his spine and lets them both off, I think they’ll be paying back for this ‘prank’ for a long time. Rightly so, in my opinion. Being in college doesn’t excuse crime for me. If you’re old enough to go to college, you’re old enough to be held responsible for your actions. Period. ---
**Author:** ![Kilmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a6a055/32.png) [@Kilmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilmore)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/53 "2010-09-30T15:55:11Z")
So they are being charged with collecting explicit images without consent, and distributing them, which is obviously appropriate. However, I do not see anything that suggests that they are being held in any way responsible for Tyler’s death. It does look like some gay advocates are going to treat this as a hate crime, and I’d imagine there would be law suits forthcoming in that regard. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/54 "2010-09-30T16:00:40Z")
> [@](#): > > … it is legal to record something as long as one of the participants knows it’s being recorded. Since neither of the men knew about it, the recorders have broken that law. Well, thank God IANAL because whether the act was technically legal or illegal is of no interest whatsoever to me. I can’t read this thread without getting angry. I hope someone will start a new thread in a few months indicating whether this asshole’s punishment will be much too lenient or _much **MUCH** too f_ck..g unbelievably too lenient.\* ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/55 "2010-09-30T16:22:59Z")
Hate crime? They probably didn’t even know they were commiting a crime. I don’t think these kids should be held responsible for the death. They are responsible for the invasion of privacy. ---
**Author:** ![Kilmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a6a055/32.png) [@Kilmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilmore)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/56 "2010-09-30T16:38:38Z")
It’s worse than invasion of privacy. This was deliberate public humiliation for the sheer cockishness of it. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/57 "2010-09-30T16:39:08Z")
It is a well-established principle that ignorance of the law is no excuse. However, in my local paper that I mentioned earlier, it was only being looked into whether they’re responsible and whether their responsibiity incorporates a hate crime. I’m not sure I’m even convinced they’re responsible, absent more evidence of things they did to this poor guy, or other harassment. Would you agree or not agree that, even in the event they didn’t know they were committing a crime, (i) what they did was explicitly because he was gay, and (ii) there is a harassment aspect, since they had tried to do this previously but didn’t succeed? ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/58 "2010-09-30T16:49:44Z")
This guy is a real winner. What’s his damage? Is it upbringing, in the genes, maybe too many hormones in the water, what? Why do so many people not have basic decency? But on the other hand, hate crime, really? What if instead of a gay guy it was a chaste girl getting some and he released it to her religious community and she killed herself? ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/59 "2010-09-30T17:53:55Z")
> [@descamisado](#): > > Would you agree or not agree that, even in the event they didn’t know they were committing a crime, (i) what they did was explicitly because he was gay, and (ii) there is a harassment aspect, since they had tried to do this previously but didn’t succeed? i) I honestly don’t know. If the victim was heterosexual, I think the roommate may have still recorded the event if a guy/girl were involved. I don’t think the victim was targeted because he was gay, he was targeted because he was known to be having sex in the dorm room. I think the fact that he was gay may have added some kind of novelty for the roommate. ii) I’m not sure where invasion of privacy meets harassment. According to the law posted by someone else, distribution of recordings is a third degree crime of invasion of privacy as opposed to fourth degree. ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561/60 "2010-09-30T17:57:59Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > Kids get bullied for lots of different things. Even non-gay kids have been known to become suicidal because of bullying. Bullying in general is a problem, and thanks to cyber bullying, it’s probably worse now than ever. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/pmD8OKl8vVM/hqdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCOADEOgC8quKqQMa8AEB-AG-AoAC8AGKAgwIABABGHIgVSg4MA8=&rs=AOn4CLB2XmatEoFFFcA_NRCCyzLofQnhEQ "Kitchen - Cyberbullying") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmD8OKl8vVM) A PSA about cyber bullying. A good one too, because it’s very true. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/secretly-recording-the-gay-roomate/555561.md?page=4)