SW is part of my core being, and has been since I was 6 and saw ANH on HBO for the first time back in 82. I was a prequel apologist when they came out. “They weren’t that bad.” “They are for today’s kids, not jaded adults” “The cheesy parts are on par with the cheesy parts of the OT.” etc. But in the past year or so, I’ve watched all 7 (not including R1) with my kids, and it’s clear the prequels don’t hold up well at all. Particularly TPM. I think I clung to forcing myself into liking them just to avoid the crushing disappointment.
And it wasn’t just me. My four year old got bored whenever there wasn’t action (and that’s HUGE stretches of 1 and 2). My ten year old, who enjoyed 4-7 a lot, pretty much tuned out during 1-3 and played on her tablet. The eight year old loved Padme and all her pretty outfits, and that’s about it. (However, they all laughed at the fart and poop jokes with Jar Jar on tatooine, and to a lesser extent, his antics during the Gungan battle.) And my wife had to stop herself from laughing and/or vomiting during the “romance” parts. It wasn’t until maybe the latter half of ROTS that everyone started getting interested again.
So my reassessment: TPM is garbage, other than the final battle. The 4-front battle is a lot of fun, even with Anakin’s nonsense, and Maul’s lack of character. But as I’ve heard elsewhere, the whole movie would have made a lot more sense if Anakin started as a teenager. A ten-year-old building and racing hot-rods is ludicrous. At 19, it becomes conceivable. Padme could have been Portman’s actual age or even a bit older, instead of a creepy 14. We could have had Christiansen (or someone better) for the whole trilogy and not changed actors, and he could have grown into the role more (as he did somewhat in 3) and by the time he falls, it would have felt less like teen angst and more like an adult fall from grace.
AOTC has the wretched romance which brings everything to a halt. It also has a bunch of boring politics talk that could have been interesting, but fails to be so. Likewise Obiwan’s investigation bits which, other than the scene with Yoda and the younglings, are sleep-inducing. But when that’s not happening, the movie is pretty good. The opening car chase has a lot of fun to it, and if the banter hadn’t been botched so much could have cemented the friendship between Anakin and Obiwan as well as their characters. The Kamino parts are excellent, including both the tense verbal confrontation with Jango and the great physical confrontation in the rain. The last 40 minutes or so, once the Geonosis arena scene starts are pretty great other than a few quibbles.
ROTS is actually not bad for the most part. Other than some janky CGI to make Christopher Lee do a flip, the opening is great. The whole coming together of Palpatine’s plans, culminating in him becoming Emperor was pretty well done. The Order 66 scene almost made me cry, even after all these years. Obiwan riding a random lizard was stupid, and both Grievous and the post-lightning Emperor could have been executed better. Also, there’s Vader’s infamous “NO” and Padme’s perfunctory death. But no stops were pulled out for the final lightsaber duel, and it’s good enough to excuse a lot of faults. The movie is not as good as any of the OT, or TFA. But on the whole, a solid entry, and clearly the best of the three.
I dearly wish someone had been around to tell Lucas “No” sometimes. And I dream that maybe one day someone will go back and do the prequels right, but I doubt it.