# Seeking Advice on Dealing with Whack-Job Neighbors **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 3, 2005, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962 "2005-07-03T23:21:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/21 "2005-07-11T16:21:43Z")
I’ll add, it would probably be a great boon if Jeffrey’s mom is either made to go into anger management counseling, (and the counseling “takes”) or she loses custody, just because extra patience is needed when dealing with a person who has autisism. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/45deac/32.png) [@Evil\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_One)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/22 "2005-07-11T17:33:39Z")
You can find reverse directories of addresses and phone numbers at the local library. Find out her phone number and call her at 3:00 am. When she answers, start barking. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/23 "2005-07-11T17:38:42Z")
> [@Evil One](#): > > You can find reverse directories of addresses and phone numbers at the local library. Find out her phone number and call her at 3:00 am. When she answers, start barking. Now we’re cookin’ with gas! ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/24 "2005-07-11T17:47:09Z")
I’m LDS, and would second **kaiwik** ’s suggestions. The family obviously needs help. While it’s true that LDS bishops are regular guys, they do have some training in abuse cases and have procedures for dealing with such. The RS president is in charge of a lot of that kind of thing, and Social Services should be involved. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/25 "2005-07-11T17:47:17Z")
> [@Hyperelastic](#): > > Now we’re cookin’ with gas! Well, except for violating the"get caught, or upset the aboveboard, legitimate channels " conditions. Calls can be trivially traced (\*69) and once the neighbors start harassing the family, then it devolves to a “he-said, she-said” feud where no one is clearly at fault. Why fling stones at a hornet’s nest? If these people haven’t figured out that the neighbors don’t like them when the cops are called three times in one day, they aren’t going to get the hint from a phone call. And the last thing you want is a borderline psycho getting irritated at you, especially when she lives next door. If you believe the “best revenge is living well” theory, you could always invite the neighborhood over for loud, convivial BBQs and gin and tonics on the patio. And then don’t invite JM and family. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/26 "2005-07-11T18:41:33Z")
I think that calling the family’s church is a great idea. If the church can’t provide the socialial services they need, it would have a special bonus for you: Having their sins made known to the church will be very humiliating for them- and hence very satisfying for you. Churches are finely honed gossip machines (guess who we should be praying for?) and her situation is perfect for this. Maybe the shame and social pressure she gets from her chuch will finally get her to wake up. I doubt it, but maybe. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/27 "2005-07-11T18:42:14Z")
I feel sorry for the other kids. ---
**Author:** ![Prancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8dc957/32.png) [@Prancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prancer)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/28 "2005-07-11T19:20:24Z")
> [@Zabali\_Clawbane](#): > > My only advice would be “Don’t poke a caged bear.” then. IOW, don’t. She’s already a sort of time bomb, and tempting as it may be to “get some of your own back” by giving her a dose of aggravation equivalent to what she’s given you, it’s not wise. I’d say you know this already though. Her own husband has admitted she has “anger control issues”, don’t push your luck. This, with the documenting that you’re already doing, is what I’d advocate. If you screw around with this woman, you may not be the one she lashes out at in anger & frustration. She can’t deal with her anger appropriately and may end up taking it out on Jeffery, since he’s an easy target. And I just have to say that I find the way you’re recounting this experience a bit odd. You seem to be stressing how much you’re being inconvenienced; their yelling bothers you, the dogs bother you and figuring out what to do is bothering you to. Yeah, being bothered should be a factor, but is it really more important than a crazy woman taking out her frustration on an autistic boy? ---
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/29 "2005-07-11T20:01:20Z")
Sound like the mother is possibly a ill-equipped mother dealing with an autistic child. She probably is at her wit’s end dealing with Jeffrey. Sounds like she needs a friend and maybe a little support, not the neighborhood ganging up on her. Can you make her and Jeffrey some cookies? Maybe take them to her and ask if she wants to talk, or if you can help her find services through her church or government that can help her? But the efforts so far probably seem to her like an attack, making her miserable situation worse and painting her into a smaller and lonlier corner. Reach out to her. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/30 "2005-07-11T20:10:22Z")
You know how when you watch Judge Judy or whatever, and both parties sound like immature assholes? Do you really want to go there? We had a crazy neighbour when I was a teenager. You really can’t out-crazy the crazy people, and it’s not a good idea to try. Just keep documenting, keep calling the police, keep it level-headed and un-emotional - you’ll make a much better, bigger impression that way. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/31 "2005-07-11T21:14:01Z")
Neighbor wars have devolved into major property damage, injuries and death. That’s right, there are way more cases of neighbors killing each other than you can believe. Take the high road-- it’ll feel better than wallowing in the gutter with her, it’s safer, and will help the case against her immensely. Revenge is sweet for about a week, getting her in line and her son treated better, will benefit you much longer. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/32 "2005-07-12T11:58:48Z")
> [@Evil One](#): > > You can find reverse directories of addresses and phone numbers at the local library. Find out her phone number and call her at 3:00 am. When she answers, start barking. [official moderator warning]Phone harassment is illegal. Do not advocate such behavior on the SDMB again.[/official moderator warning] ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/33 "2005-07-12T12:35:12Z")
I’ve heard that Mrs. X’s husband works with ‘special’ kids. Call up Professor X and see if he has any advice. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/45deac/32.png) [@Evil\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_One)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/34 "2005-07-12T13:17:04Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > [official moderator warning]Phone harassment is illegal. Do not advocate such behavior on the SDMB again.[/official moderator warning] My apologies. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/35 "2005-07-12T13:20:48Z")
Wow, and I thought my neighbors bruning way too much incence was annoying. (5-6 sticks at a time, all day long. I’ve seen it). Count me in among the people who see you as harassing the mother of a mentally unwell child. It’s not very nice and she’s going to take it out on the little boy. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962/36 "2005-07-12T13:22:01Z")
_damn unfinished thoughts_ I mean, if you take further action against her, as in “sinking to her level”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-advice-on-dealing-with-whack-job-neighbors/310962.md?page=1)