# Seeking Medical Advice!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 12, 2010, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-medical-advice/546388 "2010-07-12T14:15:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-medical-advice/546388/21 "2010-07-13T01:11:01Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > Really? That’s probably the best one to go to. > > Sure, you’ll get misdiagnosed four or five times, and the first or second time you’ll even feel better for a while before almost dieing, but eventually they will make the right diagnoses and you’ll be fine. > > I mean, seriously, look at their track record, it’s like 95%! > > I would avoid County General (ER) like it was on fire. Two helicopter crashes, a tank attacking them, a grenade launcher going off in the waiting area, crazy guy stabbing people, other crazy people with guns (like, one a week practically,) a benzene exposure catastrophe because no one there remembered any of their haz mat training/procedures, and God knows what else. Don’t forget the plague - or was it the ebola virus - and the hospital goes into lockdown and the surly crowd starts rioting and tries to break down the doors. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-medical-advice/546388/22 "2010-07-13T02:43:19Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > I’ll actually take Sacred Heart. Unlike Princeton Plainsboro, it’s pretty good odds that I’ll go in, get treated and go home as a mere foil to some other activities rather than have to hit death’s door before anyone figures out what’s wrong with me. Unless it’s time for one of the doctors to learn a lesson about accepting failure, in which case you are completely fucked and your last moments on earth will be accompanied by some sappy indie rock song. Between that and all the neurotics on staff, it’s the last hospital I’d want to go to. Are all the other TV hospitals really worse than this one? ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-medical-advice/546388/23 "2010-07-13T03:40:57Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > Take me to the Enterprise-D’s sickbay, please. This sucking chest-wound just requires a simple force-field suture and a dermal regenerator. Also, Dr. Crusher is hot. I’d prefer Bashir on DS9. He’s smarter than Crusher and the Daboo girls are younger. ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-medical-advice/546388/24 "2010-07-13T06:05:27Z")
The Trek doctors have great technology but they all come with drawbacks: Dr. McCoy (TOS): Known for his trademark line “He’s dead Jim.” No thanks. Dr Crusher (TNG): Smart, attractive and talented. She’d be a great doctor if she was in sickbay and not called away to captain the ship during a Borg attack. Or if she wasn’t on a Scottish theme park planet humping the ghost of an Anne Rice novel. Also, chances are you land in the Ent-D sickbay because of a plot contrivance or you encounter one while you’re in there. Like an angry Proto-Worf spitting acid in your face. Dr. Bashir (DS9): Probably one of the better doctors you could hope for should you be unfortunate enough to find yourself in the Bajor sector. Of course, once you leave the infirmary you’re likely to get stabbed by an angry Klingon, shot by an angry Jem’Hadar or scammed by an amused Quark. You may also find yourself murdered and impersonated by a Founder. The EMH (VOY): Great expertise, poor beside manner. Whatever ails you he can probably cure. So now you’re cured and stuck on the other side of the galaxy. But if it’s any consolation 7 of 9 might drop by. Dr. Phlox (ENT): low-tech and holistic, Phlox will charm you with his personality to distract you from the giant leech he’s putting on your wound. During your stay in the Enterprise sickbay the Captain will probably be kidnapped and beaten up meaning you are stuck there until he is yet again rescued. Alternately and worse, he may not be kidnapped at all. He may give a speech instead. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-medical-advice/546388/25 "2010-07-13T06:14:01Z")
If you find yourself in Doc Cottle’s sickbay, you’re frakked. Odds are good he’ll give you a cigarette, but then Ron Moore will have written in an extreme closeup of your eyes while Cottle melts your balls with a blowtorch. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-medical-advice/546388/26 "2010-07-13T08:00:14Z")
Good evening everybody. I’m Doctor Nick! ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-medical-advice/546388/27 "2010-07-13T15:48:34Z")
Quincy’s infirmary. He only worked on dead people. ---
**Author:** ![Cadence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Cadence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cadence)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-medical-advice/546388/28 "2010-07-13T15:54:50Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > I think Rampart General wouldn’t be too bad. Drs. Brackett and Early don’t screw around, and Nurse Dixie McCall won’t allow any shenanigans. Plus those cute paramedics who brought me in. If I need surgery, they can transfer me up to San Francisco Memorial and Trapper John McIntyre can have a go. Yes! Rampart has the best crew, and there’s no hanky panky going on in the closets. Then I would marry John Gage and have barbeques on the weekends with Roy and his wife. ---
**Author:** ![maplekiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@maplekiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maplekiwi)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-medical-advice/546388/29 "2010-07-13T22:10:47Z")
Its not a genre I like much, but if I’m having a medical emergency I’d like to go to an old UK one Casualty. Every now & then they seem to treat a patient & its miserable & unglamorous, much like real life. The worst would be a tie between Grey’s Anatomy & NZ soap Shortland St - for the same reason. There sex lives are way more important than their patients! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-medical-advice/546388/30 "2010-07-13T22:14:39Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > Really? That’s probably the best one to go to. > > Sure, you’ll get misdiagnosed four or five times, and the first or second time you’ll even feel better for a while before almost dieing, but eventually they will make the right diagnoses and you’ll be fine. > > I mean, seriously, look at their track record, it’s like 95%! > > I would avoid County General (ER) like it was on fire. Two helicopter crashes, a tank attacking them, a grenade launcher going off in the waiting area, crazy guy stabbing people, other crazy people with guns (like, one a week practically,) a benzene exposure catastrophe because no one there remembered any of their haz mat training/procedures, and God knows what else. It is not Mark Greene’s fault that he lives in the same city as Thor. County General’s endless catastrophe’s are just collateral damage in the Jord-Son’s battle with Ulik and Loki. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-medical-advice/546388/31 "2010-07-13T22:17:04Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > Yeah, take me to Dr. House and his Rainbow Coalition of associates. I’ll grit my teeth through the first few mistakes, and wait for House to get that “Eureka!” look on his face that tells me everything will be alright. Except for those times when it isn’t alright. I’d definitely want a show where the patient of the week always gets better. But if that can’t be the case I’ll take Community General Hospital and Dr. Mark Sloan. Because if I die there it means I was murdered and I’d like Dick Van Dyke to find out who did it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seeking-medical-advice/546388.md?page=1)