# Seems on time/early people are rude even when people \*aren't\* late (LONG)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [February 8, 2003, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673 "2003-02-08T06:37:58Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 8
### Author:  [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/141 "2003-02-09T21:38:49Z")
Damn it, **Mauvaise** … another example of me being late. 😃
---
### Author:  [@The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ace_of_Swords)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2003, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/142 "2003-02-09T22:15:45Z")
I believe **Erislover** ’s time troubles stem from his condition of being a Narcissist and attention whore of the first magnitude.
That’s the only thing I can imagine **erl** getting out of the second thread that he couldn’t get out of re-reading the first.
---
### Author:  [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/143 "2003-02-09T22:28:29Z")
Ace! Buddy! Compadre! Dude! Hey, I remember your appearance in the old thread, just a wee one then, IIRC thirteen posts in and you were already claiming I was a narcisist from my username alone! I am glad to see you think you have much more substantial evidence now: _your belief_! Keep working on it, ol’ chap, long is the way and hard that out of darkness leads to light and all that jazz.
Of course, we’ve got the troubling issue of tacking on “attention whore” to “Narcissist”, but don’t let that little issue of empty claims stop you. You just go on with your bad self. In no time at all I expect you to define water as dry and prove we’re all going to die of thirst.
---
### Author:  [@The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ace_of_Swords)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/144 "2003-02-09T22:36:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by erislover \*
> Hey, I remember your appearance in the old thread, just a wee one then, IIRC thirteen posts in and you were already claiming I was a narcisist from my username alone!
Funny how accurate first impressions are, isn’t it? Best of luck in your quest to convince the world to change for you.
---
### Author:  [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/145 "2003-02-09T22:38:49Z")
Oh God let it die please let this thread die please make the thread stop
whimper
---
### Author:  [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2003, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/146 "2003-02-09T22:48:18Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by erislover \*
> **It would be nice. Restaraunts are open all that time, can you believe it!?!?**
And I don’t intend to camp out at them to wait for you. You must go to Denny’s a lot. Open 24hours don’t ya know.
> [@](#):
>
> _From Erl_
> But no, most of the time it doesn’t work that way, and I’m none the worse for it.
I guess your friends aren’t either. They must not really care if you come or not.
> [@](#):
>
> -
>
> So you’re saying you like people who live father away from you?! That’s rude! 😉
-
Nope, I’m saying that some people have a legitimate reason for not being on time. Like a 100 mile drive. Yet somehow, these people usually make it just fine.
> [@](#):
>
> _From Eris_
> You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But that’s funny, if we’ve got two people (or more) with conflicting needs, how is it that I am the only one seeking people to adapt to my **schedule**? Strange, that. Well, chalk it up to arrogance, I guess.
For your entertainment and enlightenment - From [Dictionary.com](http://Dictionary.com)
1. A list of times of departures and arrivals; a timetable: a bus schedule; a schedule of guided tours.
2. **A plan for performing work or achieving an objective,** specifying the order and allotted time for each part: finished the project on schedule.
You don’t seem to have a schedule. Call it what you will. **It’s not a ‘schedule’. It’s ErisLover time.**
Hell Eris, I don’t know you from Adam, but you seem to think that making people wait for you is perfectly acceptable. You don’t seem to care that people that want to spend time with you have a life or their own.
I posted a question earlier. ---- Here we go again.
In what circumstance do you think that it is not necessary to set a time when two people meet?
---
### Author:  [@II\_Gyan\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/II_Gyan_II)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/147 "2003-02-09T22:49:39Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by erislover \*
> _I seek compromise_. I do not seek control.
In that case, explain what the compromise is between
1. a specific time with a certain +/- allowed.
2. a general time with exact time not important.
---
### Author:  [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/148 "2003-02-09T23:11:45Z")
Wow, lotsa stinky bait out there. I won’t dig up your old post and hold it against you, **Ace**. But it is a shame to see your pattern of nonsense has not noticibly improved since that eleventh post.
**Gyan9** , I am not aware that those two situations are substantially different.
**enipla** : “_n what circumstance do you think that it is not necessary to set a time when two people meet?_” —Just name one, eh? Sure.
Person A and Person B are taking the same flight from the same airport to the same place, but arriving separately.
Person A says, “See you at the airport!”
Person B says, “OK, see ya!”
How about another?
Person A says, “Hey, B, we’re having a party tomorrow evening. Why don’t you stop by?”
Person B says, “OK!”
**WARNING** : Do not try this! For informational purposes only. The entire fabric of space-time is likely to tear causing untold damage to sewer systems and the return of The Old Ones. I assume no responsibility for untold suffering that will ensue if this is actually attempted.
---
### Author:  [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/149 "2003-02-09T23:20:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by erislover \*
> **Wow, lotsa stinky bait out there. I won’t dig up your old post and hold it against you, Ace.**
Well, given my first response I suppose it is a little late to say that, isn’t it? 😃 Whoops. The dogs of war sometimes have a mind of their own.
---
### Author:  [@milroyj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/milroyj)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/150 "2003-02-09T23:28:02Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Mauvaise \*
> \*\*Your position above is very flawed. Just because most people consider something to be true doesn’t necessarly make it so. Most people used to think the earth was flat. \*\*
Which isn’t what we are talking about. The question is not about whether or something is true, or right, but polite. Politeness is about how one interacts with OTHER people in social situations. Manners, such as they are, are designed to make OTHER people comfortable in said situations. You hold open the door, you don’t slurp your food, and you show up on time.
Polite: “marked by an appearance of consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy”. All of those things, consideration, tact, deference, and courtesy, are about how one treats OTHER people. It is not about Eris. At all. Period.
---
### Author:  [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/151 "2003-02-09T23:28:20Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by enipla \*
> For your entertainment and enlightenment - From [Dictionary.com](http://Dictionary.com)
>
> 1. A list of times of departures and arrivals; a timetable: a bus schedule; a schedule of guided tours.
>
> 2. **A plan for performing work or achieving an objective,** specifying the order and allotted time for each part: finished the project on schedule.
>
> You don’t seem to have a schedule. Call it what you will. **It’s not a ‘schedule’.**
Care to rethink that? Or do you suppose that “allotted time” means something like “I have given myself 1.33 hours, significant to two decimal places, for doing laundry”?
---
### Author:  [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2003, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/152 "2003-02-09T23:48:34Z")
**enipla** : “_n what circumstance do you think that it is not necessary to set a time when two people meet?_” —Just name one, eh? Sure.
> [@](#):
>
> Person A and Person B are taking the same flight from the same airport to the same place, but arriving separately.
>
> Person A says, “See you at the airport!”
>
> Person B says, “OK, see ya!”
O.K.
What does that have to do with anything? Anything at all? I will worry that you may have missed your flight since I did not see you.
[quote]
\*from ErisLover
> [@](#):
>
> [/]
> How about another?\*\*
> Person A says, “Hey, B, we’re having a party tomorrow evening. Why don’t you stop by?” Person B says, “OK!”\*\*
Do you think that a casual invitation to a party is the same as a “I will meet you at Joe’s” at an agreed on time?
It’s not even in the same State my friend.
You will have to do much better to convince anyone on this board that a meeting time is not important.
---
### Author:  [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/153 "2003-02-10T00:01:17Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by enipla \*
> Do you think that a casual invitation to a party is the same as a “I will meet you at Joe’s” at an agreed on time?
I should hope the answer is obviously “no”.
> [@](#):
>
> You will have to do much better to convince anyone on this board that a meeting time is not important.
Will I? Funny, I didn’t know I was attempting to.
---
### Author:  [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/154 "2003-02-10T00:04:37Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by erislover \*
> \*\*Care to rethink that? Or do you suppose that “allotted time” means something like “I have given myself 1.33 hours, significant to two decimal places, for doing laundry”? \*\*
Nope, I won’t rethink that. . . . . Don’t need too.
That means that I arrive on time.
My friends are more improtant than my laudry.
---
### Author:  [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/155 "2003-02-10T00:10:40Z")
And again, for the third time.
What type of circumstance do you think that when meeting someone a time to meet is not important.
Your airport scenario was just silly and easy to refute.
Go for it.
---
### Author:  [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/156 "2003-02-10T00:21:25Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by enipla \*
> My friends are more improtant than my laudry.
I don’t compare my friends to laundry.
---
### Author:  [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2003, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/157 "2003-02-10T00:25:22Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by enipla \*
> And again, for the third time.
>
> What type of circumstance do you think that when meeting someone a time to meet is not important.
>
> Your airport scenario was just silly and easy to refute.
I missed the refuation. I gave a general answer once: when the events are not dependent on external factors—that is external to the parties who are meeting.
If you want specifics meet me for a beer sometime.
---
### Author:  [@Jaakko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaakko)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/158 "2003-02-10T00:48:29Z")
Cell phones tend to alleviate the lateness problem a lot, since you never need to make exact plans until the proverbial last moment.
Only one of my friends is bugged by my chronic lateness, and even that is mostly because he usually calls me early in the morning and insists on us meeting during my Zombie Hours, ie. before noon.
---
### Author:  [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/159 "2003-02-10T00:51:16Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by milroyj \*
> \*\*Which isn’t what we are talking about. The question is not about whether or something is true, or right, but polite. Politeness is about how one interacts with OTHER …
But you are - you’re trying to say that punctuality=polite is a TRUE statement because 99 out of 100 people think so. That’s not “proof”.
> [@](#):
>
> Manners, such as they are, are designed to make OTHER people comfortable in said situations. You hold open the door, you don’t slurp your food, and you show up on time.
And to you that’s polite - however to Joe Schmo down the street those things might be meaningless. Politeness and other manners are subjective and therefore there can have be no Absolute Truth or Value, if you will. No one person can decide for the rest of us what actually constitutes politeness. Only the individual can do that.
---
### Author:  [@II\_Gyan\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/II_Gyan_II)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673/160 "2003-02-10T01:10:19Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by erislover \*
>
> **Gyan9** , I am not aware that those two situations are substantially different.
In that case, can you paraphrase your attitude to time ?
Obviously, one attitude is
_Specific time with certain +/- allowed_.
What’s yours ? And what’s the compromise ?
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673.md?page=7)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seems-on-time-early-people-are-rude-even-when-people-arent-late-long/153673.md?page=9)