# Seen any good bumper stickers lately?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [July 22, 1999, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986 "1999-07-22T21:24:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 1999, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/21 "1999-07-23T21:59:00Z")

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I have to agree with Omniscient - I hate bumper stickers.

That being said, my favorite bumper sticker reads:

“My heart belongs to daddy…and so does my ass!”

#2 is “Hang up and drive!”

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 1999, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/22 "1999-07-23T22:37:00Z")

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Saw a car with a Jesusfish and a Darwinfish kissing each other. Those are the kind of people I wanna hang out with.

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 1999, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/23 "1999-07-23T23:27:00Z")

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I generally don’t like bumperstickers, but I did bring one back from Glasgow, Scotland nearly 10 years ago (and it’s still on the car, in good shape–God knows what it’s made of!). Glasgow has its own earthy humour and language, with many pithy phrases.

The sticker reads “AWANBILEYERHEID”, which is “Awa an bile yer heid”, or “go away and boil your head”, a fairly typical, if clean, Glasgow wittisism.

However, it has given hours of innocent delight:

I have seen people stop and look, and mouth out the words, sometimes for minutes on end when I’m parked. People have even run up from the vehicle behind at red lights to ask me what the hell it says.

_Real_ Scots just honk and laugh, of course. Helps us sort folk oot.

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 24, 1999, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/24 "1999-07-24T02:09:00Z")

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WE BRAKE FOR TAILGATERS

* * *

Zymurgist

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 1999, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/25 "1999-07-27T20:26:00Z")

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Here are a few that I like:  
BACK OFF MAN - I’m a Scientist.  
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 1999, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/26 "1999-07-27T21:39:00Z")

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I like the take-off of that 70’s sticker that reads “Visualize Whirled Peas”

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 1999, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/27 "1999-07-27T21:40:00Z")

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Also “Who are the Grateful Dead, and why do they keep following me around?”

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 1999, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/28 "1999-07-27T22:26:00Z")

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I like, “The next time you feel perfect, try walking on water,” or “My karma just ran over your dogma.”

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 1999, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/29 "1999-07-27T23:55:00Z")

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Just lately, “Dr. Kevorkian can see you on Tuesday”.  
When I lived in LA, there was a brief vogue for “Please don’t shoot, I’m driving the best I can”. I also once saw, in LA again, natch, the license plate holder that says “My other car is a Rolls-Royce”–on a Rolls-Royce.  
I’ve always been amused by those “Warning: in case of Rapture, this car will be driverless” stickers–they always implied to me Well, I’m going to Heaven, & since you’re going to Hell anyway, it’s OK for me to leave an unguided missle going down the freeway!" Shouldn’t these guys be walking?  
–Alan Q

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 1999, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/30 "1999-07-28T02:51:00Z")

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The best one I’ve seen lately has a radioactive symbol, a pink triangle, a little whale, and a cross. Underneath them it says, “Nuke a Gay Whale for Jesus”.

Other favorites–  
“Jesus saves, Moses invests”  
and the classic  
“Gas, Grass, or Ass–Nobody Rides Free!”

Dr. J

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 1999, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/31 "1999-07-28T04:24:00Z")

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Id love to split those bumper stickers with you, Ukulele Ike

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 1999, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/32 "1999-07-28T04:41:00Z")

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My favorite was a car I saw in the late ‘80s on Mass St. in Lawrence…it was a beat-up old Camaro. Two bumper stickers. On the left: “I (heart) Beer”. On the right: "Heavy Fuckin’ Metal". Had I been a cop, I’d have pulled that guy over right there.

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 1999, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/33 "1999-07-28T05:58:00Z")

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well, my friend at school had these…they made me laugh although I didn’t neccessarily approve of his well-known foul mouth… they read:

#1 You’re not a hemroid so get off my a$&.  
#2 Be nice to smokers…we’re dying soon enough.

* * *

tipi 🙂

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 1999, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/34 "1999-07-28T13:48:00Z")

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I got a load of these things from a friend via e-mail. Some yall have seen, some not. Nevertheless they are pretty funny.  
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.  
\>  
\>I love cats…they taste just like chicken.  
\>  
\>Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.  
\>  
\>Cover me. I’m changing lanes.  
\>  
\>As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.  
\>  
\>Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.  
\>  
\>Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.  
\>  
\>Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.  
\>  
\>I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather…not screaming and yelling  
\>like the passengers in his car.  
\>  
\>Montana — At least our cows are sane!  
\>  
\>The gene pool could use a little chlorine.  
\>  
\>I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.  
\>  
\>Your kid may be an honor student but you’re still an IDIOT!  
\>  
\>It’s as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.  
\>  
\>When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.  
\>  
\>Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.  
\>  
\>Friends don’t let friends drive naked.  
\>  
\>Wink, I’ll do the rest!  
\>  
\>I took an IQ test and the results were negative.  
\>  
\>Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?  
\>  
\>If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?  
\>  
\>Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.  
\>  
\>It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.  
\>  
\>Reality? That’s where the pizza delivery guy comes from!  
\>  
\>Forget about World Peace…Visualize using your turn signal!  
\>  
\>Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.  
\>  
\>Give me ambiguity or give me something else.  
\>  
\>We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.  
\>  
\>Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.  
\>  
\>He who laughs last thinks slowest.  
\>  
\>Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.  
\>  
\>Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.  
\>  
\>Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.  
\>  
\>Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.  
\>  
\>Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.  
\>  
\>I souport publik edekasion.  
\>  
\>Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.  
\>  
\>3 kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can’t.  
\>  
\>Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?  
\>  
\>Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?  
\>  
\>I’m a corporate executive, I keep things from happening.

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 1999, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/35 "1999-07-28T20:47:00Z")

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A woman I used to work with had a pickup truck with a bumper sticker, “Feed Jane Fonda to the whales.” She said people would ask her, “What do you have against whales?”

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 1999, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/36 "1999-07-28T23:44:00Z")

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About 3 years ago I saw one that said;  
“so many fools, so few comets,”  
I about rear-ended the guy I was laughing so hard

Placed in juxtaposition to each other  
“mean people suck,” " nice people swallow"

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 1999, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/37 "1999-07-28T23:50:00Z")

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saw this in a store today:  
Men have feelings too, but who cares?

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 29, 1999, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/38 "1999-07-29T02:18:00Z")

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Ivick, that is the funniest thing about the comets, I remember seeing one too.

Ah, this could be a seperate thread

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 30, 1999, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/39 "1999-07-30T01:26:00Z")

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About a year ago I saw a Darwin fish w/a much BIGGER Darwin fish approaching from the rear, mouth wide open.

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [July 30, 1999, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-any-good-bumper-stickers-lately/10986/40 "1999-07-30T15:01:00Z")

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I came across a couple in a book by Peter Benchley:  
Hire the handicapped; they are fun to watch

My saviour is a Jewish Carpenter.

PS. NO slights intended.

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