# Seen on the Back of a Van **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 12, 2005, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345 "2005-09-12T22:37:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/1 "2005-09-12T22:37:46Z")
I was making my evening commute homeward, when I saw on the back of the van ahead of me a familiar-looking outline. Yes, it was lovable Calvin - but rather than urinating on some logo or another - the boy does seem to have a weak bladder - he was knelt, quite reverently, before a cross - next to which, in Holy Gothic font, were the words ‘Every Knee Will Bow’. I was struck by the seeming incongruity of the lovable scamp, the modern-day Dennis the Menace, in the humble pose, and wondered what possessed the owner of the van to place such a sticker on their vehicle. Ah, I realized. They must be Calvinists. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/2 "2005-09-12T22:41:13Z")
[Like this?](http://www.everykneeshallbow.com/) ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/3 "2005-09-12T22:44:36Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > [Like this?](http://www.everykneeshallbow.com/) Same idea, different arrangement, slightly. Text was on the right side of the one I saw. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/4 "2005-09-12T22:45:03Z")
I’ve seen this before. It pisses me off. Tell me I pray to the wrong god. Or that I’m going to hell because I don’t pray at all. Or that you’re better than me because you _know_ god. But don’t fucking tell me Calvin is a theist! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/5 "2005-09-12T22:59:26Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > They must be Calvinists. . . .hehehe 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/6 "2005-09-12T23:08:23Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > They must be Calvinists. You were destined, before even your own birth, to post this message on these boards this very day. God be praised! ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/7 "2005-09-12T23:12:59Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > But don’t fucking tell me Calvin is a theist! :mad: Well, he’s certainly not a Hobbsian… ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/8 "2005-09-12T23:40:45Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Well, he’s certainly not a Hobbsian… . . . boo! 😉 Wow, I’m really not contributing much here, am I? ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/9 "2005-09-12T23:50:08Z")
I find those Calvin stickers usually slapped on the back of vans with handicapped tags. I’m not sure what the connection is. There was a van with handicapped tags and huge Jesus decals all over it that used to park outside of my dorm a couple years ago. It had Calvin on one side and huge, I mean bigger than life size, decals of the outline of Jesus’ head with thorns and all. Truly, awfully tacky. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/10 "2005-09-13T00:03:16Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > They must be Calvinists. There’s no way that that’s a licensed decal – so _neo_-Calvinists, surely. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/11 "2005-09-13T00:24:30Z")
I saw one of those a week ago. Of course, Jesus _wants_ you to violate copyright laws. Things like this of course make me think: “Ah, an immoral person is driving in front me. Better watch out!” ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/12 "2005-09-13T01:50:51Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > I saw one of those a week ago. > > Of course, Jesus _wants_ you to violate copyright laws. Things like this of course make me think: “Ah, an immoral person is driving in front me. Better watch out!” What would Jesus download? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/13 "2005-09-13T02:01:23Z")
Personally, I want [this Calvin sticker](http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=08312005) for my car. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/14 "2005-09-13T12:27:50Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > . . .hehehe 😃 Just the reaction I’d hoped for. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/15 "2005-09-13T12:31:46Z")
Is that kid really supposed to be Calvin? My nephew told me he is, but I never saw Hobbs, so I just figured he was a all-American scamp-type figure. You see him all over the place, but I know he’s not licensed. StG ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/16 "2005-09-13T12:39:01Z")
If these stickers are bring sold for fundraising, can’t Watterson bring a suit against them or something? Isn’t there any leadership in the church capable of restraining the urge to steal? Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/17 "2005-09-13T12:45:46Z")
That would have been much cooler if the cross was pissing on Calvin. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/18 "2005-09-13T12:56:56Z")
> [@slortar](#): > > That would have been much cooler if the cross was pissing on Calvin. Especially if it was pissing HELLFIRE!!! on him. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/19 "2005-09-13T13:13:12Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > If these stickers are bring sold for fundraising, can’t Watterson bring a suit against them or something? Yes, but I read somewhere (no cite, sorry) that Watterson’s basically given up on bringing cases against these yahoos. Whenever he shuts someone down, somebody else springs up. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345/20 "2005-09-13T14:24:21Z")
I want a sticker of Calvin pissing on Calvin pissing, 'cause I’m a Redneck Postmodernist. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seen-on-the-back-of-a-van/321345.md?page=2)