# Self-centred, stuck-up, toffee-nosed, hoity toity, horse-riding toe-rag scumbag bastards **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 10, 2013, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018 "2013-12-10T21:35:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/1 "2013-12-10T21:35:27Z")
It’s illegal in this country to leave dog shit on the pavement. It’s not illegal to leave six inch high piles of horse shit everywhere, though. Typical of the stuck-up cunts and their inbred half-wit children, that they literally leave their shit everywhere. It’s bad enough when the fuckers ride abreast and block the whole cycle path and refuse to get out of the way, without them dropping minefields you have to slalom around. Especially when they end up as two-foot wide slicks you can’t avoid. My tyres are filthy because of these twats. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/2 "2013-12-10T21:41:01Z")
Carry a camera next time, get their license plates. ---
**Author:** ![Cognoscant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Cognoscant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cognoscant)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/3 "2013-12-10T21:42:46Z")
> [@blindboyard](#): > > Typical of the stuck-up cunts and their inbred half-wit children, that they literally leave their shit everywhere. . The horse plops are one thing, but I’m really worried about the inbred half-wit children piles on the road. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/4 "2013-12-10T22:21:31Z")
Sort of agree, sort of don’t. There are a lot of mixed-use trails, and hikers, bikers, and equestrians have to share the way. It simply isn’t feasible for horsemen to stop and pick up and pack out their hoss-squeezin’s. It’s about as meaningless as asking you to dab up all the sweat droplets that fall from your brow. Can’t be done. Hoss poop is relatively benign, on the great scale of ick. Much less nasty than dog poop. Horse poop degrades to dust pretty quickly. Hell, I have to share trails with wild coyotes, who leave their scat any old where. Among everything else, this is nature we’re talking about. Now, the riders who ride abreast and won’t let you pass – that’s damn wrong. That isn’t tolerable, isn’t permitted. I’d report that to the rangers or other regulating officials. People who do shit (so to speak) like that are enemies of all mankind. By the way, as a hiker, to bikers, thank you for the little jingling bells! That’s GREAT! It lets me know you’re coming so I can step out of the way. It’s much more friendly than “Coming through!” It’s a cheerful little sound, and it carries farther than the hiss or crunch of the tires over the trail. And please believe me, I am entirely glad to step out of your way. Feel free, though, to pit idiot hikers who don’t think they should: I’ve seen those dorks, and am ashamed of them. Slower yields to faster. Simple logic and basic etiquette. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/5 "2013-12-10T22:23:25Z")
I guess society’s consensus on this is that horse poop is considerably less vile than dog poop. Although it is pretty ill-mannered to be dropping it on a bike path, having been riding a few times I can appreciate that there’s no real way to curb a horse. Once they decide to take a dump, they just freeze in place and do their business. Also, negative points for the use of “literally…everywhere” to mean “occasional widely distributed but inconvenient piles”. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/6 "2013-12-10T22:26:44Z")
Are they actually on a bicycle path or is it a multi-use trail? ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/7 "2013-12-10T22:48:32Z")
In our area we have designated multi-use trails, for walkers, joggers, equestrians and cyclists. We also have (often running parallel to the multi-use) separate equestrian trails. Cyclists are not allowed to use these trails, but the stupid jerks act like they are mountain bike trails and go racing up and down them. Then they get angry when we are taking up the trail and we get angry when they spook our horses by racing past and in between us. I’ve had these jerk cyclist actually turn around and come back racing toward us after passing us fast from behind. Spooking the horses happens on the multi-use trail, too. But usually it’s an accident and we have room to move over. We don’t have any trails that are cycle only. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/8 "2013-12-10T23:06:06Z")
Herbivore poop makes good compost. Take a shovel and suitable receptacle in your car, then stop and scoop up the horse droppings along your route. You’ll wind up with healthy garden soil (and an oddball reputation). ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/9 "2013-12-10T23:41:26Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > Once they decide to take a dump, they just freeze in place and do their business. I was under the impression that they didn’t even freeze. Don’t they plop whilst still in motion? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/10 "2013-12-11T00:58:19Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > I was under the impression that they didn’t even freeze. Don’t they plop whilst still in motion? As someone who marched behind a couple of Clydesdales in the Rose Bowl parade (and couldn’t break formation to step over/around a steaming pile), yes. Yes. Yes, they do. They do. Damn, I’m still not over that yet… ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/11 "2013-12-11T01:01:39Z")
> [@digs](#): > > As someone who marched behind a couple of Clydesdales in the Rose Bowl parade (and couldn’t break formation to step over/around a steaming pile), yes. > > Yes. Yes, they do. > > They do. > > Damn, I’m still not over that yet… **Travis:** One thing I’ve learned about parades is you always put the horses in back. **Venus:** Why’s that? **Travis and Johnny:** _You’vegottobekiddingme stare_ **Venus:** Oh, right ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/12 "2013-12-11T01:34:56Z")
Horses do not have sphincter control, so they don’t even really ‘decide’ to take a dump. ---
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/13 "2013-12-11T09:57:06Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Sort of agree, sort of don’t. There are a lot of mixed-use trails, and hikers, bikers, and equestrians have to share the way. It simply isn’t feasible for horsemen to stop and pick up and pack out their hoss-squeezin’s. It’s about as meaningless as asking you to dab up all the sweat droplets that fall from your brow. Can’t be done. Horse nappies. Sling a bag under its arse. If you’ve got a beast you can’t stop shitting either ride it on your own property, hire a valet to clean up the shit as you go, or horse nappy. If I left huge piles of my sweat stinking on the street I’d spray anti-perspirant on my face or wear a balaclava. > [@](#): > > Hoss poop is relatively benign, on the great scale of ick. Much less nasty than dog poop. Horse poop degrades to dust pretty quickly. > > Hell, I have to share trails with wild coyotes, who leave their scat any old where. Among everything else, this is nature we’re talking about. England doesn’t have coyotes, or lions, or feral bison. I saw a fox once, and a vast multitude of rabbits. Vast. the horde is vast, but their shit is small and easily avoided. And mostly in the grass. ---
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/14 "2013-12-11T10:01:18Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > I guess society’s consensus on this is that horse poop is considerably less vile than dog poop. Although it is pretty ill-mannered to be dropping it on a bike path, having been riding a few times I can appreciate that there’s no real way to curb a horse. Once they decide to take a dump, they just freeze in place and do their business. > > Also, negative points for the use of “literally…everywhere” to mean “occasional widely distributed but inconvenient piles”. It was meant as “literally leave their shit”, as opposed to the colloquial use of “shit” to mean “stuff”. Technically their horses’ shit, I suppose, but if the horse apples have a legal owner I dare say it’s the rider or owner of the horse, so I think “their shit” is acceptable. If I’d meant “literally everywhere” I’d have said “leave their shit literally everywhere”, rather than “literally leave their shit everywhere”. As for horse poop being less vile than dog poop, it’s all just shit to me, and between horse and dog there is a distinct quantitative difference. ---
**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/15 "2013-12-11T16:49:37Z")
Oddly, though I do hate horses and their riders by association, I actually don’t mind horseshit. I almost consider it quite fragrant. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/16 "2013-12-11T17:00:16Z")
Horse shit is the caviar of shit. I can’t think of another animals’ feces I find less repellant… ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/17 "2013-12-11T17:02:01Z")
> [@blindboyard](#): > > It’s illegal in this country to leave dog shit on the pavement. It’s not illegal to leave six inch high piles of horse shit everywhere, though. Typical of the stuck-up cunts and their inbred half-wit children, that they literally leave their shit everywhere. It’s bad enough when the fuckers ride abreast and block the whole cycle path and refuse to get out of the way, without them dropping minefields you have to slalom around. Especially when they end up as two-foot wide slicks you can’t avoid. My tyres are filthy because of these twats. Why do you feel the need to specify _cunt_ and _twat_ as your preferred insult? Are you saying that women riders are more guilty of this misbehavior (if misbehavior it is) than men? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/18 "2013-12-11T17:21:15Z")
Well, the OP **is** British. They use the terms rather a lot more freely than we do, and in a more unisex way. ---
**Author:** ![kferr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@kferr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kferr)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/19 "2013-12-11T17:55:53Z")
As a mountain biker in Britain I do sympathize with the OP. But if it weren’t for the equestrians we wouldn’t have the thousands of miles of bridleways open to us. For the confused Americans, a breakdown of the types of rights of way in England and Wales is at [wikipedia here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rights_of_way_in_England_and_Wales). As for **Skald’s** comment, _cunt_ and _twat_ are almost exclusively used for males. The horse riding population in Britain (at least near me) seems to be overwhelmingly female. The only time I’ve seen more than one bloke on horseback was when I came across a hunt going up the lane. They left LOTS of fresh shit to dodge. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018/20 "2013-12-11T18:09:17Z")
> [@kferr](#): > > As a mountain biker in Britain I do sympathize with the OP. But if it weren’t for the equestrians we wouldn’t have the thousands of miles of bridleways open to us. It’s true here in New England as well. Folks seem to get along fine, not that we don’t have conflicts between individuals. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-centred-stuck-up-toffee-nosed-hoity-toity-horse-riding-toe-rag-scumbag-bastards/676018.md?page=2)