What exactly is the scenario under discussion? During some type of relationship?
If it is a relationship the man needs to instantly, permanently terminate the relationship.
Is this a street fight or a domestic situation? I’m assuming the latter.
If so, then it doesn’t follow regular rules. I’m not about physical violence in my own home. If my relationship has degraded to that, it’s time to move on. On my way out, I would clearly protect myself from physical harm, but would do so with the most minimal levels of force necessary to get out of the situation.
Nobody should have to live in a home with violence regardless of gender.
Starting premise is that a man should not hit a woman. Period.
Caveat to that is that reasonable force should be allowed to be used in self defense.
Nah.
How sexist.
People shouldn’t hit other people. Period.
(In the unfortunate situation where defensive force may be necessary, the gender of the attacker can’t be a deciding factor.)
What’s wrong with just shooting her?
This happened to my one of my best friends. He was visiting his parents who live a few miles away when he gets a call from his wife. She says she took a bunch of pills and she doesn’t want him to bring their two sons home with him. Scared, he leaves the boys with his parents and immediately goes home.
When he arrives, his wife is outside beating on the side of his full size Chevy work van with a stool. A few neighbors are outside watching her dent the van in the driveway. He gets home car at the same time as a local police car arrives. A neighbor had called 911 to report a crazy lady screaming and beating things on the outside of her house.
He gets out of his car and yells “what the hell are you doing?” and is blocked by a police officer who asks who he is. He tells the officer “this is my house and that is my wife!” and was immediately placed under arrest. The neighbors told the police that he wasn’t even home and they were the ones who made the call. The police didn’t care.
His wife was taken to a hospital, my buddy spent the night in jail. The police never charged him with anything and released him the next day. They also stole the little aluminum handled Swiss Army ‘Money Clip’ pocket knife I had given him for his birthday a few years earlier. It wasn’t in the envelope that had his personal belongings and when he asked to see the inventory that he signed, he noticed it wasn’t even on the list.
The take away from all this:
- Never marry a crazy, angry, manipulative woman with a history of mental health and temper control issues.
- In a domestic dispute, regardless of situation, the person with the penis is very likely to be arrested.
- If you are arrested and your personal belongings are taken and inventoried, carefully read and verify the inventory report before signing it.
None of the above.
This is good advice for even if the person is a man, the best way to avoid being arrested for domestic violence is to vet your potential mate. You won’t “win” after you’re together penis or not.
I think you got it in one.
We evolved language for a reason.
A physical fight is fight. A real fight. To me it’s the classic “someone is going to the emergency room and someone is going to jail”. I tend to de-escalate.
Ladies and gentlemen, our very own Dog & Beth.
…simmer down, killer.
I went with option 3, but, generally speaking, I think hitting back is more of a last resort action for everyone. But, when it is warranted, gender or sex should not matter, nor should apparent strength.
Depends.
In any combative situation, the general rule is “A good big man(or woman) will beat a good small man (or woman)”. In physical combat, size does matter. Skill helps, especially if there is a great disparity in skill levels, but the ability to inflict and withstand punishment is usually paramount.
In a relationship? Protect yourself, but get the hell outta Dodge, pronto. Any relationship that has gotten to this point is, IMHO, unsalvagable. As the man is nearly always assumed to be in the wrong, just get the hell away.
On the street? Well, I’m in a minority in that getting attacked by women isn’t all that unique an experience in my line of work. Now, I’ve never met a woman bigger or stronger than I (although there certainly are such women) so when it happens I try verbal de-escalation, “soft” self-defense techniques and finally, at last resort restraint/subdual techniques. I’ve never had the need to hit back, even when they’ve gone for my eyes with their fingernails. I am a very large man, trained and experienced in unarmed fighting and have broken bones of large men in fights. Hitting a woman just seems like bullying.
Sorry to say I go for equality; you hit me first and I will respond with equal to lesser force no matter what gender (or anything else) you are.
Even if there is no way the other person is a threat?
I understand “I will do whatever I have to to keep myself safe, and gender doesn’t play a role”.
I don’t understand “Hitting people is something you normally aren’t allowed to do, but you get a freebie if someone hit you first. I want my freebie even if it’s a girl”.
I didn’t say anything like that.
Hitting someone is self defense if it’s the only reasonable way to defend yourself. That is, if you are in danger and hitting them is the best way to get out of danger. You might get hit first, or you might not. It’s immaterial to whether your hit is self defense (although you probably have a much easier time in a legal claim that you thought you were in danger if you were hit first).
Look at the way the OP posed the question. It’s not “can you justifiably hit a woman to defend yourself”. It’s “can you justifiably hit a woman as retribution for her hitting you”. That’s not defense, it’s payback.
I’d just expand this to say, attacking anyone who isn’t a notable physical threat, is bullying, be it a smaller person, child, woman, bigger-but-passive person, etc. Last time I was in a place where fighting regularly occurred (HS?), it would also include bigger people who others wanted to “cut down to size”, despite the fact that they weren’t aggressive.
In answer to the OP, I think everyone has a right to defend themselves, but I have no interest in trying to dominate anyone. And of course, there are consequences, both fair and unfair.
Either way, emphasis shouldn’t be placed on whether or not retaliating against a stronger woman is justified; emphasis should instead be placed on good judgement, impulse control, and generally not getting to that point in the first place (yes it’s an ideal, but it’s better than ensuring time in jail, or worse).
I think you need to define “hit”. Men in fear of the woman and what is happening have every right to defend themselves, I think running away is a fine defense tactic. If she catches you and is still upset you may need to use a restraining move. If she knows those and is getting to be dangerous you may need to hit back. Maybe try screaming at her to stop that shit?
In high school, I had a math class where this girl would constantly hit me. I was a freshman and she was a sophomore. While I was an offensive lineman on the football team (and therefore a big guy), she was also fairly large and had one hell of a mean streak. She was the trainer on the football team and knew she could get away with a lot of things.
These weren’t playful punches, either. She was putting some real force into it, knowing that she was in a position of power within the football organization, and even if a freshman did complain to the coach, it wouldn’t look good for him. She would hit me because she knew that “boys aren’t supposed to hit girls,” and whenever I would tell the teacher or any other authority figures, I’d either be told to shake it off or the girl would get a mild reprimand of “stop that.” She’d then soon resume her behavior. If I tried to restrain her, I’d get in trouble with the math teacher and told to leave the girl alone.
This happened for a while and any complaints I would make would be shrugged off because I was a football player and should be able to take the punches of a girl. Finally, I showed the bruises to my mom (one of the nicest people I know and someone who worked at my school) and she gave me permission to hit back, saying that the girl was taking advantage of my behavior and also the fact that she knew she could get away with it.
The next day in class, she threw a punch at me and I caught her arm and hit it with mild force - not all my strength, but enough to show that I was serious. She was stunned and said that I couldn’t do that, because I was a boy and she threatened to go to my mother and tell her what I did. When I informed her that my mom gave me her full consent to defend myself and return any punches in kind, she was shocked.
Needless to say, her behavior towards me changed immediately after that.
So, yeah, I don’t think people should go around hitting each other, regardless of gender, but if you are a girl looking to hide behind some pretense of chivalry on your victim’s part, you’d better believe I think he should hit you back.
That’s good advice. But what if I want to have sex with her again?