# Self pitting, this time with feeling. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 5, 2007, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094 "2007-09-05T06:45:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/1 "2007-09-05T06:45:13Z")
I don’t really know what a standard self pitting consists of, but I’m reasonably sure that they are treated as the lowest of the low, even in the parlance of the Pit. I’m not expecting or hoping for any sympathy here, it’s not called for. This is not about me, rather about what I’ve done. I recently made a comment in a thread, [this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=435257). My first comment was just short of being a true asshole, some might say that I crossed that line and then some. **Skip Magic** was moderating in almost real-time. I feel that his choices in regards to notes and warnings were well chosen. That was A+ moderating AFAIC. This post is not about **Skip** ’s exemplary moderating, but about my behavior. My first post was snarky and rude, at best. My attitude was not called for, wasn’t productive, and I was attacking little things that were not important. That was poor form. The real reason that I’m here doing this, is my post #16 in that thread. I’ll not make excuses about why I said that, or what circumstances led to it. That was just a cruel and hateful thing to say. I’ve been on the receiving end of such a remark and it hurt really bad. I am completely ashamed that I said that, and it has been eating at me every waking hour since then. I am very sorry for having said that. There’s a lump in my throat now, mostly from remembering the offhand comment that made me leave the Dope for several months. It disgusts me to think that I could ever be capable of inflicting that sort of hurt on someone else. I wanted to apologize in the thread itself, but I didn’t feel it was appropriate. Besides, this way people can use whatever language they want when addressing me. A couple “fuck you’s” headed my way won’t be a surprise, and I’m certainly not going to fault anyone that needs to vent about my behavior. **SandyHook** I am very sorry about what I said. It was mean, unnecessary, and pointless. I hope that what I said didn’t affect you too much. I know that what I said affected me to a significant degree, that can’t be a bad thing. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/2 "2007-09-05T07:01:03Z")
You’re right. Your comment was inappropriate and rude. Props to you, though, for having the courage to stand up and say, “I’m sorry”. It would have been just as easy for you to not only be an asshole, but an indignant asshole trying to defend his actions. You’ve learned a very valuable life lesson. Embrace today and move forward with the knowledge that you won’t repeat that mistake. Most of us have been an asshole at least once in our lives. I say, let ye who art without asshole-ishness cast the first stone. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/3 "2007-09-05T09:00:40Z")
Okay, now I have inciminating pictures of _three_ SDMB members. Thank you for brining this to my attention. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/4 "2007-09-05T14:17:07Z")
Kudos to you for an excellent apology. But, there’s one thing still missing: you need to apologize in SandyHook’s thread, too, or else post a link to this thread, so Posterity, reading that old thread some day, knows that you apologized. 😉 You could just C & P your OP, would be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/5 "2007-09-05T15:20:59Z")
I lost quite a bit of resect for you when I read the original thread, but this took serious guts. Good on you for recognizing what happened and trying to make amends. I’m going to feel extra-bad the next time I vote for your lynching. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/6 "2007-09-05T16:00:17Z")
Good on you! ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/7 "2007-09-05T16:02:05Z")
Do you all realize he’s apologizing for his boobs comment? Everything he said in that thread he came across like a total fucking asshole EXCEPT that post. . .which was just a joke and probably true. I didn’t see the original boobs, but if there’s any woman here at the dope who doesn’t think a better pair of tits can be found on the internet (no matter how nice hers might be), she’s obviously delusional. Or, was **dnooman** sorry for insulting the poster by insinuating his “tit googling” skills weren’t up to snuff. He’s clearly attention-whoring here (as any worthy self-pitting will do), and apologizing for the wrong thing just to troll a little more. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/8 "2007-09-05T16:04:33Z")
Heh, I thought this was going to be about that weird post in the Keira Knightly thread about fucking dead skunks. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/9 "2007-09-05T16:14:22Z")
**dnooman** , you \*have \*been a bit of a dick lately. Not just in that thread, but in others. I’m starting to cringe when I see your username. I find ('cause it’s all about me) that I go through dickish cycles. Maybe it’s a hormonal woman thing. I have a male friend who believes that men go through aggressive/passive cycles as well as women. Whatever the reason, every so often I find myself being very aggressively hostile in a number of posts. In short, I become a dick. I see it happening sometimes and I just can’t stop it, or I don’t notice until afterwards, and then I feel bad about it. I think it happens to all of us sooner or later. So I know you don’t want sympathy, but too bad. Because I do sympathize. And I greatly admire your courage in standing up and admitting to being dickish lately and apologizing. But yeah, sympathy or no, knock that shit off, will ya? I don’t like cringing when I see your username. I used to light up when I saw it. I liked that better. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/10 "2007-09-05T16:27:38Z")
**Dnooman** , I was gonna say something horrible to you but jeez I can’t stay mad at you. C’mere and give us a hug. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/11 "2007-09-05T16:57:22Z")
[QUOTE=dnooman] I’ve been on the receiving end of such a remark and it hurt really bad. [/QUOTE] **dnooman** has boobs? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/12 "2007-09-05T17:37:49Z")
[QUOTE=Trunk] Do you all realize he’s apologizing for his boobs comment? Everything he said in that thread he came across like a total fucking asshole EXCEPT that post. . .which was just a joke and probably true. [/quote] Agreed. I actually interpreted the boobs comments as a tongue-in-cheek observation about the prevalence of boobs on the internet, not a personal insult against the person in the picture. It was post #2 that contained the real asshole stuff. [QUOTE=Trunk] He’s clearly attention-whoring here (as any worthy self-pitting will do), and apologizing for the wrong thing just to troll a little more. [/QUOTE] That’s pretty harsh. I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, even if i still sort of disagree with him over which post contained the worst stuff. > [@WhyNot](#): > > I find ('cause it’s all about me) that I go through dickish cycles. Maybe it’s a hormonal woman thing. I have a male friend who believes that men go through aggressive/passive cycles as well as women. Whatever the reason, every so often I find myself being very aggressively hostile in a number of posts. In short, I become a dick. I see it happening sometimes and I just can’t stop it, or I don’t notice until afterwards, and then I feel bad about it. I think it happens to all of us sooner or later. Yeah, i notice it in myself too. Sometimes i’ll be mellow, but other times i’ll act like a raging asshole over relatively small stuff. Kudos to the OP for the apology. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/13 "2007-09-05T17:40:24Z")
[QUOTE=Trunk] Do you all realize he’s apologizing for his boobs comment? Everything he said in that thread he came across like a total fucking asshole EXCEPT that post. . .which was just a joke and probably true. I didn’t see the original boobs, but if there’s any woman here at the dope who doesn’t think a better pair of tits can be found on the internet (no matter how nice hers might be), she’s obviously delusional. Or, was **dnooman** sorry for insulting the poster by insinuating his “tit googling” skills weren’t up to snuff. He’s clearly attention-whoring here (as any worthy self-pitting will do), and apologizing for the wrong thing just to troll a little more. [/QUOTE] I’m apologizing for my behavior in that thread in general, and to that post in particular. I’m not trolling, and if I wanted attention I certainly wouldn’t choose to get it using a method that might get me banned. Others have flamed out before, but you’ll never catch me doing that, it’s not my style. You can think what you want about my motives for posting this, I’m not really that concerned about your opinion. By creating this thread, I was able to let go of a lot of the guilt that had been following me around. If **SandyHook** wants to accept my apology, then this thread has served it’s purpose. **WhyNot** you are absolutely right about my recent behavior. I know what your friend is talking about, and I’ve experienced that before. It could partially explain why I’ve been a bit of a douche lately. I’m going to make an effort to think before I post from now on. ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/14 "2007-09-05T18:16:43Z")
Thank you, I accept your apology and offer my cyber-hand in cyber-friendship. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/15 "2007-09-06T04:56:48Z")
[QUOTE=rayh] **dnooman** has boobs? :eek: [/QUOTE] Yeah, but if you can’t find better looking boobs on the net, there’s something wrong. 😃 Good on you **dnooman** for stepping up to the plate. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/16 "2007-09-06T05:37:37Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] Yeah, but if you can’t find better looking boobs on the net, there’s something wrong. 😃 Good on you **dnooman** for stepping up to the plate. [/QUOTE] That was an excellent zinger. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/17 "2007-09-06T14:10:04Z")
Man, I always seem to miss the drama threads until there’s a pit thread. **dnooman** , even though I think I understand what you were trying to say in post #2 in that thread, you certainly were a bit of a jerk about it. But I certainly respect you taking responsibility for it. Uh-oh, is this going to end up being one of those warm-and-fuzzy pit threads where no one’s terribly angry? Those unsettle me. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/18 "2007-09-06T15:27:41Z")
I just wanted to say, as a straight female, that I thought SandyHook’s boobs looked pretty damn good in those pics, and I did think your post about them was dickish. But! God, do I know that feeling of hating yourself for weeks for saying something inappropriate, and I, personally, like you better for starting this tread. I wish I could do that in real life. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/19 "2007-09-06T16:35:14Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] … I find ('cause it’s all about me) that I go through dickish cycles. Maybe it’s a hormonal woman thing. I have a male friend who believes that men go through aggressive/passive cycles as well as women. … [/QUOTE] When women go through these cycles they’re “on their period” or “on the rag” so when men do it are they “on their dick”? ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094/20 "2007-09-07T02:15:29Z")
[QUOTE=Wile E] When women go through these cycles they’re “on their period” or “on the rag” so when men do it are they “on their dick”? [/QUOTE] :eek: I could see why that would make someone act like an asshole though. Pun intended. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/self-pitting-this-time-with-feeling/418094.md?page=2)