# Sell me your soul. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 4, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538 "2003-09-04T15:41:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/21 "2003-09-05T13:58:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Amp \* > \*\*You got tree fifty? \*\* Dammit monster! Get outta here and leave me and my wife alone! What do you mean you already gave him the tree fiddy? Doncha know that’ll just encourage the monster? Damn woman! ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/22 "2003-09-05T13:59:51Z")
You don’t want mine, I assure you. On the other hand, I’ll sell you [\*\*Exgineer’s soul \*\*](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=179220&highlight=lego) for the right Lego set. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/23 "2003-09-05T14:05:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bricker \* > \*\*Vote Republican much of the time. > > I may have to pay YOU.\*\* Maybe you can do one of those trade-in, trade-up sort of deals–like with used cars. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/24 "2003-09-07T00:59:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\*Sorry, I’ve already run a telemarketing firm. \*\* It’s people like you who make it so hard for a hard-working guy like myself to get into the soul business. Your soul hasn’t just been sold, it’s been mortgaged, sold, resold, on layaway, and in Satan’s personal safe. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by TheLoaded Dog_ > **You gonna pay for shipping?** And handling. And I plan on handling your soul quite a bit. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by leechbabe_ > **Can I get fries with that?** Not a problem. Hell, I’ve even let you Supersize if your soul is virginal. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by QED_ > **$8.5 million. Never mind the fact that I don’t believe I or anyone else even has a soul. That’s my price. > Bwaaaaahahahaha!!!** Unbeliever souls are a dime a dozen. It’s those fallen believers that are the tastiest. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Creaky_ > **Item: One soul, good condition. Good patriot and scrupulously honest girlie, model of a 1950’s houswifey (most of the time). (Former punk rocker, but don’t let that fool ya! ) > In exchange I want to be able to eat and drink anything I want without getting fat, and I want eternal life… on Earth. Thank you.** No, thank you!! Your soul would be a jewel in my collection. I’ll put it right up there next to Hillary and Laura’s. As for your payment, ummmmmm… the checks in the mail. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by jsafricanus_ > **You need to prove that you can deliver. Get me laid. Then we’ll talk.** Good Og man, I’m just a businessman, not a friggin miracle worker. Although I see **Cranky** is in the house, so let me work her a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/25 "2003-09-07T01:09:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Amp \* > \*\*You got tree fifty? \*\* Done, and done. I’ve placed your three fifty in the folds of your couchs, under your bed, and in the pockets of your old jeans. It’s a pleasure doing business with you. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by BruceDaddy_ > **Hookers and firetrucks. What’s your address?** I’ve arranged the hookers to make themselves available to you. Just check your local yellow pages under Escort Services, and in the Chicago Reader Adult Entertainment section. I’ll also send over the firetrucks. To send me your soul, just pour gasoline all over your living room, and drop a lit match in there. As soon as I get it, I’ll send the firetrucks. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Gundy_\*\* > I think you know what I want in exchange for my soul.\*\* The Cubs in the World Series? My God you ask for the impossible. Good Luck getting that from either of my competitors. Satan loves the Cubs for their continued screwing with their fans, and God wouldn’t come near that bullpen with an infinity sized pole. I could, however, be convinced to part with Sammy Sosa for a day. You think it was just steroids that made him good? ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/26 "2003-09-07T01:35:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hamlet \* > **Unbeliever souls are a dime a dozen. It’s those fallen believers that are the tastiest.** Dude, the souls of us unbelievers have never been used. They’re primo and and sooo tender and juicy–like veal. ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/27 "2003-09-07T01:35:33Z")
The Cowboys win the Superbowl. Just kidding!! ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/28 "2003-09-07T01:48:49Z")
Too late. I sold my soul to the company store. But I’d be willing to part with some karma for a new hard drive. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/29 "2003-09-07T02:11:42Z")
Would you consider a long-term lease? ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/30 "2003-09-07T02:23:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EddyTeddyFreddy \* > \*\*Would you consider a long-term lease? \*\* Would that be an Operating Lease or a Capital Lease? There are significant differences in the accounting treatment … Eh, sorry. My soul is long gone, since I’m a CPA. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/31 "2003-09-07T04:21:08Z")
Can I still sell it if I’ve already taken a second on it? I guess I’m asking if you do a title search. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/32 "2003-09-08T02:17:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hamlet \* > \*\*Cubs in the World Series? My God you ask for the impossible. Good Luck getting that from either of my competitors. Satan loves the Cubs for their continued screwing with their fans, and God wouldn’t come near that bullpen with an infinity sized pole. I could, however, be convinced to part with Sammy Sosa for a day. You think it was just steroids that made him good? \*\* No go, my friend. I’d be happy to part with Sammy Sosa forever. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/33 "2003-09-08T03:32:42Z")
You know, The Big G and old Scratch aren’t your only competition in the soul market. Now, I do have some slightly used souls, available in bulk, and am willing to trade for pristine one. ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/34 "2003-09-08T06:42:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hamlet \* > Now, keep in mind that the price paid for souls has dramatic tfluctuations in prices over the years: > > Faustus wanted 24 years of magical powers and merry-making. > > Charlie Daniels seems to think it takes a fiddle of gold. > > For Homer, all it cost was a doughnut. > > Dorian Grey wanted eternal youth. > > Edith Evans wanted to win at cards > > Robert Johnson wanted to be a famous bluesman. > > Bart only needed $5. And they were all ripped off. Only Joe Namath got fully compensated. ---
**Author:** ![Latch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f475e1/32.png) [@Latch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Latch)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538/35 "2003-09-08T08:26:08Z")
I sold mine for $5 to some kid named Milhouse. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sell-me-your-soul/199538.md?page=1)