# Senate Acquits Trump, 53-47! \[satire\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 21, 2020, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734 "2020-01-21T05:54:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2020, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/21 "2020-01-21T20:54:47Z")
I’m not sure I see the purpose of posting this. If it’s to make a prediction, you could at least say “I predict” in the title, to not scare people. Plus, well, your prediction is the default anyways. You won’t get any kudos if you’re right. It would only be interesting if you predicted votes not falling along party lines. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2020, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/22 "2020-01-22T04:48:10Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > It says a lot about the low expectations I have of the Senate Republicans that I actually checked to see if this post was true. I thought it was possible that they just decided to acquit Trump on the first day without even bothering to go through the motions of having a hearing. Of course they did. The same as the democrats decided to impeach as soon as his winning was announced in 2016. No surprises there. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2020, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/23 "2020-01-22T05:52:15Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Of course they did. The same as the democrats decided to impeach as soon as his winning was announced in 2016. No surprises there. The Democrats spending three years investigating and gathering evidence is not the same as the Republicans dismissing all charges on the first day of the hearing. The Democrats are seeking to impeach Trump _because_ he is guilty of serious crimes. The Republicans are saying they won’t impeach Trump _despite_ the fact that he is guilty of serious crimes. ---
**Author:** ![Fugazi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f08c70/32.png) [@Fugazi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fugazi)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2020, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/24 "2020-01-22T07:12:56Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Of course they did. The same as the democrats decided to impeach as soon as his winning was announced in 2016. No surprises there. heh. What color is the sky on your Earth? Here on Earth prime they didn’t even begin an impeachment inquiry until a whistleblower came forward with tales of shenanigans and a few days later Trump admits to all of it. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2020, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/25 "2020-01-22T16:14:29Z")
> [@Fugazi](#): > > heh. What color is the sky on your Earth? Here on Earth prime they didn’t even begin an impeachment inquiry until a whistleblower came forward with tales of shenanigans and a few days later Trump admits to all of it. While **Projammer** appears to be yet another asshat MAGiot, there were quite a number of Democrats who (IMO correctly) wanted impeachment proceedings to have commenced much earlier for Trump’s crimes against America. The only thing that kept it from happening was the surety that the Republican Senate wouldn’t never even consider that violating the Emoluments Clause\* might be a reason for removing a Republican President from office, because that crime nowhere reaches the level of lying about a blowjob under oath (or even wearing a tan suit). \*Article I, Section 9, Clause 8 of the United States Constitution No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State. Emolument (def): compensation received by virtue of holding an office or having employment (usually in the form of wages or fees) ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2020, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/26 "2020-01-22T21:20:48Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > It says a lot about the low expectations I have of the Senate Republicans that I actually checked to see if this post was true. I thought it was possible that they just decided to acquit Trump on the first day without even bothering to go through the motions of having a hearing. Oh, they WILL acquit, right along party lines. But first they want to have their dog and pony show. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2020, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/27 "2020-01-23T00:31:15Z")
**Senate Quits Trump. [Rick Astley Horrified](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ).** ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2020, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/28 "2020-01-23T01:39:11Z")
I’m sure this has been brought up, but how is it possible for Republican Senators who had stated, before the articles of impeachment were even approved by the House, that they would vote for acquittal not be held in contempt for swearing under oath that they would “do impartial justice”? I’m sure that if I was selected for a jury and stated that I had already made my decision before the trial started that my ass would be in jail for contempt. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2020, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/29 "2020-01-23T02:41:57Z")
Republican corruption has crippled your government is how. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2020, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/30 "2020-01-23T06:07:07Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > I’m sure this has been brought up, but how is it possible for Republican Senators who had stated, before the articles of impeachment were even approved by the House, that they would vote for acquittal not be held in contempt for swearing under oath that they would “do impartial justice”? I’m sure that if I was selected for a jury and stated that I had already made my decision before the trial started that my ass would be in jail for contempt. Because a Republican Chief Justice will not act against Republican Senators who are covering up for a Republican President. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2020, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/31 "2020-01-23T14:19:23Z")
Susan Collins in a future interview: “I was troubled by the testimony. It worried me. I was concerned. Then I remembered, I’m a Republican! Fuck it, NOT GUILTY” ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2020, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/32 "2020-01-23T16:37:46Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Because a Republican Chief Justice will not act against Republican Senators who are covering up for a Republican President. We are seeing “Justice” Roberts do that NOW, by choosing to not enforce what few rules there are. Besides, if we brought any of these fucking republican scumbags up on charges, who tries them? The OTHER fucking republican scumbags. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2020, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/33 "2020-01-23T16:39:00Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > Susan Collins in a future interview: “I was troubled by the testimony. It worried me. I was concerned. Then I remembered, I’m a Republican! Fuck it, NOT GUILTY” That’s already happening too. ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2020, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/34 "2020-01-23T16:40:49Z")
Can we just go ahead and charge the republicans with obstruction of congress? ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2020, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/35 "2020-01-23T17:34:58Z")
> [@Paintcharge](#): > > Can we just go ahead and charge the republicans with obstruction of congress? Again, who would try them? Their republican traitor buddies. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2020, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/36 "2020-01-23T19:14:49Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Again, who would try them? Their republican traitor buddies. They’ll be tried by a jury of 120,000,000 of their peers in November. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2020, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/37 "2020-01-23T20:58:52Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > They’ll be tried by a jury of 120,000,000 of their peers in November. Would those be the same 120,000,000 who elected Trump? ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2020, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/38 "2020-01-23T21:59:10Z")
He could shoot someone in the Senate and still be acquitted. Although if he shot a Republican the vote would narrow to 52-47… ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2020, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/39 "2020-01-24T03:23:32Z")
> [@digs](#): > > My blood pressure spiked, I got sweaty, my will to live nose-dived… The fact you had such a physical reaction probably says as much about Trump than it does about the fact the federal government has this much control and influence over individuals. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2020, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734/40 "2020-01-24T04:00:58Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Of course they did. The same as the democrats decided to impeach as soon as his winning was announced in 2016. No surprises there. [I wonder where they got that idea?](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2016/11/03/no-honeymoon-for-hillary-congressional-republicans-openly-discussing-impeachment/) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senate-acquits-trump-53-47-satire/846734.md?page=3)