# Senile Dumble-fuck, please shut up **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 22, 2002, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063 "2002-11-22T01:17:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/1 "2002-11-22T01:17:47Z")
g: “Aloha, Schlock M.O.B. Service, how may I help you?” Caller: mumblemumblemumblemumble… g: How may I help you sir? Caller: mumblemumblemumble… Is woman X still available mumblemumble? g: Yes she is. Caller: mumblemumblemumble… I want to know if some woman whose name I don’t even know and I’m not even sure which country she is from is still available mumblemumblemumble but i will throw random letter and number combinations at you until I find the right one. g: _does the mental count to 10._ I’m sorry, sir. We _DO_ need a code number. Caller: mumblemumble oh well mumblemumble would you mind holding on for a minute or three mumblemumble need to go get the code from somewhere other than my ass mumble mumble g: _BREATHES DEEPLY AND EVENLY_ Serenity now. Caller: Whul i’m back mumble mumble I’m 65 and i’m looking here at some mumblemumble 25 year old hot chinese woman mumblemumblemumble could I meet her if I went on one of your tours mumblemumble mumble? g: Smacks self in the head and transfers caller to Bald-Assed Father Raper to be fleeced. * * * People, please, for the love of ghod, when you call somewhere, know what you want and SPEAK CLEARLY! ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/2 "2002-11-22T01:24:57Z")
What the hell are you talking about? ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/3 "2002-11-22T01:26:14Z")
Dumble-fuck? Voldemort, is that you? ---
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/4 "2002-11-22T01:30:38Z")
mumblemumble who me mumble? I work for a Bald-assed father-raper as detailed in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=145110). It is a crappy Mail Order bride service. Sadly, _NONE_ of our clients speak clear English. The women are foreign and the men are just plain un-intelligible. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/5 "2002-11-22T01:33:10Z")
Yes, people should speak clearly. I agree. _Trying to be casual about the nature of **glarGH** ’s extremely bizarre employment situation…_ Nope, sorry. Can’t do it. Can’t focus on the main point of your rant. Impossible not to be distracted by the fact that you work at a _mail-order bride company!!!_ I mean, that’s so fucking weird! I guess I always knew they existed, but I never really thought about the fact that _somebody, somewhere_ has a mundane job answering phones at a _mail-order fucking bride company!!!_ Sorry. Yes, old man should enunciate clearly. Fucking bastard I hope he dies 😃 ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/6 "2002-11-22T01:34:39Z")
Hey **glarGH** , I’ve been meaning to ask…do you do mail-order husbands, too? I’m looking for new employment myself, and Hawaii doesn’t sound half bad… ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/7 "2002-11-22T01:36:43Z")
Hey Glargh, I’ve been meaning to ask: DOES ANYTHING IN YOUR WHOLE GODDAMN LIFE MAKE YOU HAPPY? ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/8 "2002-11-22T01:38:15Z")
**glarGH** : the BOFH of mail-order poonanny. ---
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/9 "2002-11-22T01:51:10Z")
\*\* apotheosis \*\*: Well that’s half our biz ^^. For the wealthy ones, you would need to find em in the former Soviet Union areas. Log on, maybe find you a nice sugar Momma 😉 **jarbabyj** : hee hee. sorry. I’ll try to be more positive from now on. Things that make me happy include sunshine and 75 degree weather, making 250 lb, 6’ tall men back down in fear and umm people that make themselves understood by speaking clearly and concisely over the phone and conversations that do not include heavy breathing or the color of my panties :). ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/10 "2002-11-22T01:59:42Z")
I have trouble picturing anyone being wealthy in the former Soviet Union areas. Is this another western misconception? ---
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/11 "2002-11-22T02:08:58Z")
I’m guessing wealth is a matter of scale…? I don’t know. But I do know you can buy a house in Kyrgyzstan for like $6,000 USD. To paraphrase one woman: “I am owner and designer of factory where they manufacture women’s clothing. I am very wealthy.” ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/12 "2002-11-22T02:13:52Z")
$6,000 sounds good for a house, but without knowing much about the average local income it doesn’t mean a lot…besides, I’d suspect jobs for web designers are in short supply around there. For the right lady, who knows. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/13 "2002-11-22T02:25:25Z")
What is it again with your obvious discrimination against [glutial-follicly impaired](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=145110) people? My ass is as bald as a … well … a baby’s ass. If you prick me do I not bleed? If you present me with a complimentary free Asian mail order bride (age 19 to 24, no taller than 5’2", preferable with massage skills) do I not become very excited? WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE BALD-ASSES?!? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/14 "2002-11-22T02:31:57Z")
God help me, the thread title is rattling around in my skull as rapped by “Eminem.” ---
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/15 "2002-11-22T02:45:09Z")
\ Will the senile dumble-fuck, please shut up? Please shut up? \ ARRRRGH. That was horrible, but it had to be done. You have ignited something within my brain and it cried to be brought forth upon this world!! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/16 "2002-11-22T02:53:01Z")
Revenge is sweet. ---
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/17 "2002-11-22T02:56:24Z")
\*\* Jack\*\*, think shaven donkey hindquarters only as … a man’s head. **Larry Mudd** , you are a cruel, cruel man. ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/18 "2002-11-22T02:58:54Z")
As a non-bald-ass, I’m pretty sure Ms. glarGH’s bigotry was directed at those of us with hirsute hineys. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/19 "2002-11-22T03:04:18Z")
Do you have any REALLY cute Slavic guys who look like Goran Visnjic and are really sweet and sensitive and willing to obey my every command? ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063/20 "2002-11-22T17:49:52Z")
glarGH, you are an angry, angry young lady. May I suggest you purchase a mechanical _relaxation_ aid? And if you aren’t putting us on, you should really expand on your career a bit here. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/senile-dumble-fuck-please-shut-up/138063.md?page=2)