# Sentence fragments you would (or wouldn't) want in your obituary. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 7, 2010, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495 "2010-08-07T08:04:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/1 "2010-08-07T08:04:54Z")
Would: “_… thus breaking his own world record._” Would not: “_Having finally been excreted, his body…_” For instance. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/2 "2010-08-07T08:10:57Z")
Would: “He will be missed…” Would not: “…unlike the last thirty-seven times he was shot at.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![blue\_infinity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_infinity/32/2817_2.png) [@blue\_infinity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blue_infinity)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/3 "2010-08-07T08:45:11Z")
Would: “…of sexual exhaustion after a three day…” Would not: “… was difficult to identify after the mob’s savage…” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/4 "2010-08-07T08:54:09Z")
Wouldn’t: “…condemned by the horrified Nazi government…” “…stake through the heart, ‘just in case’…” “…head not found, presumably taken for a trophy…” “…should’ve known not to eat a live…” “…testicles ignited after…” ---
**Author:** ![AnnaKareninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@AnnaKareninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnnaKareninja)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/5 "2010-08-07T10:05:17Z")
Wouldn’t: “…her smoke alarm had a snooze button and one night…” ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/6 "2010-08-07T12:00:13Z")
Wouldn’t: “Crowds of protesters…” ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/7 "2010-08-07T13:26:12Z")
Would: “…was chased by a mob of topless women…” Would not: “… off of a cliff.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/8 "2010-08-07T13:32:07Z")
Would not: estimated to be dead for a month before her body ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/9 "2010-08-07T13:44:57Z")
Would not: “… stunned onlookers…” “…the enraged gorilla then proceeded to…” “…a 15 year veteran paramedic vomitted at the sight.” “…his genitals were later found…” ETA: “…the coroner had to use a spatula to…” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/10 "2010-08-07T13:55:00Z")
Wouldn’t: “…cleansed with fire…” “…sealed in containment vessel…” “…scene of Lovecraftian horror…” “…doomed all mankind…” ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/11 "2010-08-07T15:18:34Z")
Would - “at age 78, shot by a jealous husband over a 23 year old redhead” Would not - “has departed this world on the wings of eagles” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/12 "2010-08-07T15:29:37Z")
Would not want: “…his mummified body…” “…skin had merged with the…” “…unable to locate all of his body…” “…the resulting lawsuits are ongoing…” “…bells rang and celebrating…” ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/13 "2010-08-07T15:31:23Z")
Would - “After a long and highly distinguished career…” Would not - “An unidentified man, approximately 50 years of age…” ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/14 "2010-08-07T15:46:36Z")
Would not: “…passed three months ago (give or take)…” “…sedated the bobcat…” Would: “…distributed his fortune…” ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/15 "2010-08-07T15:48:42Z")
peperony and chease ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/16 "2010-08-07T16:37:18Z")
Would want: “suddenly” “in his sleep” Would not want: “after a long, long, illness” “parasite previously unknown to medical science” “wandered naked” “the skunk’s brain was sent for testing” ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/17 "2010-08-07T16:47:00Z")
. . . found on the grassy berm of I-271 . . . ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/18 "2010-08-07T17:07:35Z")
**Wouldn’t** [ul] [li]"…just a strike away from his first 300-game…"[/li][li]"…after an agonizingly long plummet from a plane at 40,000 feet…"[/li][li]"…swarmed by poisonous cockroaches…"[/li][/ul] **Would** [ul] [li]"…succumbed to his wounds after single-handedly dismantling the Taliban with a samurai sword…"[/li][li]"…having been the greatest philanthropist the world has known…"[/li][li]"…after a decades-long, happy marriage with the love of his life…"[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/19 "2010-08-07T17:10:20Z")
This one could go either way: _… found beneath a mountain of chocolate truffles…_ ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/20 "2010-08-07T17:41:20Z")
Would not: “…traumatized pathologist…” “…syndrome named after him…” “…blood splattered bystanders…” “…liquefied internal organs…” “…uniquely painful…” “…seen someone turned inside out…” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495.md?page=2)