# Sentence fragments you would (or wouldn't) want in your obituary. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 7, 2010, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495 "2010-08-07T08:04:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/21 "2010-08-07T17:44:50Z")
Would: “Closed casket due to her preferences” Would not: “Closed casket due to the circumstances” ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/22 "2010-08-07T17:50:49Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Would: “Closed casket due to her preferences” > > Would not: “Closed casket due to the circumstances” \ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/23 "2010-08-07T18:08:16Z")
Would not: “Hazmat team” “fossilized gerbil” ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/24 "2010-08-07T18:09:34Z")
Would: “Nobel-winning Laureate” Would not: “feeble, whining idiot” ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/25 "2010-08-07T19:06:51Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Wouldn’t: > “…testicles ignited after…” I assume you were thinking of me, as [thread=505174]I could actually have this in my obit. [/thread] ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/26 "2010-08-07T19:44:39Z")
Would not: Neighbors were puzzled, having assumed that she had died long prior …beyond recognition… ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/27 "2010-08-08T00:50:51Z")
would: survived by husband, two children, four grandchildren … wouldn’t: face was eaten by cats. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/28 "2010-08-08T02:38:25Z")
I’ve had the same three sentences I don’t want in my obit for several years now. They are: “lifelong bachelor,” “longtime companion,” and “complications from pneumonia.” ---
**Author:** ![Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siddhartha_Vicious)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/29 "2010-08-08T03:44:10Z")
Would: . . . was hung peacefully in his sleep. Wouldn’t: . . . already submitted to the Darwin Awards. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/30 "2010-08-08T03:49:33Z")
wouldn’t: …had apparently been dead for several days… …preceded in death by her son,… …went to heaven, in the arms of the lord, or any other religious glurge… …found in a bathtub full of ice… ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/31 "2010-08-08T04:12:47Z")
wouldn’t: …cruel trick of fate… …painful and horrific… …reminiscent of a horror movie… would: gently in her sleep prefers no flowers, just donations to …\ beloved by all ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/32 "2010-08-08T05:05:57Z")
Wouldn’t want: “…as a result, war was declared…” “…remains scattered by coyotes…” “…contractual obligations devolve upon the heirs…” “…Mafia sources confirm…” Want: :: silence :: ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/33 "2010-08-08T05:10:57Z")
Wouldn’t …postulated by deviant sexuality experts… ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/34 "2010-08-08T15:17:17Z")
wouldn’t: “…also discovered in the debris field were…” ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/35 "2010-08-08T15:34:26Z")
Wouldn’t: “…bystanders howled with laughter at the sight, not realizing…” Would: “…lived life to the fullest and spent her last quarter the day she died.” ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/36 "2010-08-08T16:25:00Z")
Would: “…family requests all donations go to AARP…” Would Not: “…family requests all donations go to AA…” Would: “…fame spread through many countries…” Would Not: “…remains spread through many counties…” Would: “…legacy will live on as an organ donor…” Would Not: “…although he was a registered organ donor, circumstances made it impossible to recover…” ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/37 "2010-08-08T18:18:04Z")
No, thanks: …at an angle previously considered to be physically impossible… …crime scene experts remain baffled… …the horrified onlookers… …initially seemed hysterically funny, then tragically… ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/38 "2010-08-08T18:22:05Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Wouldn’t: > > “…cleansed with fire…” > > “…sealed in containment vessel…” > > “…scene of Lovecraftian horror…” > > “…doomed all mankind…” Weird. I’m kinda hoping all of those figure prominently in my obit. :D:D ---
**Author:** ![Juntas\_Doorman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@Juntas\_Doorman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juntas_Doorman)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/39 "2010-08-08T20:08:01Z")
Wouldn’t: “… tissue had adhered to the underside of the piano that undertakers were obliged to jerry-rig a makeshift…” Would: “… re-written the books on a number of disciplines hitherto considered complete, including 1)…” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/40 "2010-08-08T21:50:09Z")
Wouldn’t: “… however, charges were dropped due to the victim’s unwillingness to testify.” “… described by neighbors as ‘a quiet man who kept to himself.’” “… Latin American drug cartel.” “… identified by dental records.” Would: “… the funeral was interrupted several times by the wailing of a number of unknown women.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495.md?page=3)