# Sentence fragments you would (or wouldn't) want in your obituary. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 7, 2010, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495 "2010-08-07T08:04:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Lare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/53a042/32.png) [@Lare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lare)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/61 "2010-08-10T21:09:50Z")
Yes: Went to his final reward in peace No: Went to his final reward in pieces ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/62 "2010-08-10T21:29:28Z")
Wouldn’t: …apparent autoerotic accident… …devoured by… …plummeted 250 feet… ---
**Author:** ![Blut\_Aus\_Nord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Blut\_Aus\_Nord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blut_Aus_Nord)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/63 "2010-08-10T21:58:15Z")
Would not: “… with the detonator lodged in his urethra.” “… but only after finding his torso.” “… wearing only a string thong and a birthday hat…” Would: “… after single-handedly disemboweling the grizzly…” “… with a crowd of young children weeping by his corpse…” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/64 "2010-08-10T22:19:22Z")
Wouldn’t: “…one week before immortality treatment perfected…” “…now known as **Der Trihs** Crater…” “…Darwin Award winner…” “…didn’t realize the chainsaw was…” “…sucked his bones clean out…” > [@42fish](#): > > Animal experts are puzzled, as squirrels had never before exhibited such levels of violence or teamwork. [Russian squirrels kill dog](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4489792.stm). Never underestimate squirrels. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/65 "2010-08-11T03:36:03Z")
> [@Chakra Nadmara](#): > > Would not: > > “… wearing only a string thong and a birthday hat…” There could be situations where this could be a good thing in your obit. Say, “As requested in the will, Brad Pitt showed his undying love for the deceased by attending the funeral wearing only a string thong and a birthday hat.” ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/66 "2010-08-11T03:41:08Z")
Would: “…at the age of 152…” “…the first man to die on another planet…” Would not: “…at the age of 52…” (my current age) “…wandered off due to dementia…” ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/67 "2010-08-11T05:34:45Z")
Would: “…passed peacefully in her sleep, with a smile on her face.” Would not: “…when the support of the chandeleir gave way, dropping her two stories.” ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/68 "2010-08-11T09:02:23Z")
Would: famous as a local hero Would not: Also know as patient Zero ---
**Author:** ![audit1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@audit1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audit1)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/69 "2010-08-11T09:58:49Z")
Would: Member of the Justice League Woundn’t: Member of the Legion of Doom ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/70 "2010-08-11T11:11:46Z")
Wouldn’t: “…of the remains had to be performed by specialists from Fort Detrick…” “…severe malnutrition…” “…end of a lengthy court battle, doctors finally…” “…through the streets by screaming militants…” “…after a botched surgical…” “…lay undiscovered for over six…” “…before turning the gun on himself.” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/71 "2010-08-11T14:17:20Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > > [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > > > “… eaten by her own children…” > > That would be a _really_ odd sentence on YOUR obituary, wouldn’t it? Odder than you think. I don’t have any children. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/72 "2010-08-11T16:31:40Z")
“The remains were poured into an old oil drum, which they will be buried in.” “The infero melted the bridge, forcing the closure of the highway.” “The incident will be featured on an upcoming episode of _Deadliest Catch_.” ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/73 "2010-08-11T16:47:07Z")
"After it took the forensic team days to identify the remains … " "Among the homeless who perished in the flood was former … " "The heavily picketed funeral with few actual attendees … " ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/74 "2010-08-11T17:58:55Z")
Wouldn’t want: “…ranting and raving as he was killed…” “…bulldozer suffered no damage as it rolled over…” “…overwhelming debt troubles…” “…remaining eye…” “…stump became infected…” “…sepsis…” “…trapped by hot asphalt…” “…bears found him first…” “…new disease of great interest to…” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/75 "2010-08-11T20:38:32Z")
[“On the night Kiko ate his toe…”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=574054) ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/76 "2010-08-12T02:18:45Z")
Nope: “…will always be most widely remembered as the source of the humorous Internet meme …” I wouldn’t mind “Lovecraftian horror” in my obit at all. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/77 "2010-08-12T11:55:38Z")
“…was left a quadroplegic…” ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/78 "2010-08-16T16:11:03Z")
would not …thus making him the ultimate Darwin Award winner …a special solar powered tombstone will forever display the video of… …just hours before having his first date with Megan Fox ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/79 "2010-08-16T17:00:04Z")
Would: “…of several charities” ``` "inventor of many useful and profitable devices" "...In our time, perhaps no one as remarkable as..." "the vote to commemorate his birth as a national holiday passed easily...." "...his hands were still in a death-grip around the neck of Fred Phelps's corpse....." ``` Would not: “Ironically, he had mistaken the deadly species for the common…” ``` "Several people in the neighborhood moved away after reporting nightmares...." "Authorities are ordering that the body be exhumed by HAZMAT, in order that..." ``` ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495/80 "2010-08-16T18:14:44Z")
I’m surprised by how many people included things like “not previously believed physically possible”, and “hitherto-unknown” in their “would not” lists. Those go on my “would”! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentence-fragments-you-would-or-wouldnt-want-in-your-obituary/549495.md?page=5)