# Sentences Never Before Spoken **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 4, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481 "2004-05-04T16:37:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/1 "2004-05-04T16:37:03Z")
George Carlin used to have a routine on this topic. His example was “As soon as I ram this hot poker up my ass, I’ll cut my dick off.” What word combinations have you made that have never been put together before? Here’s my latest example, said to my girlfriend: “The alien needs another crotch-candle!” (Please restrict your responses to things you actually said in conversation with another human being) ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/2 "2004-05-04T16:55:44Z")
Intresting thread. If a little strange. I’m sure I’ve said some weird things to people in my life. I just can’t remember what they were. I expect the recipient of strange sentences is more likely to remember them than the utterer. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/3 "2004-05-04T16:59:35Z")
Also from Carlin: “Please saw my legs off.” “Hand me that piano.” “Do what you want to the girl, but leave _me_ alone!” ---
**Author:** ![FriendRob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecc23a/32.png) [@FriendRob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriendRob)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/4 "2004-05-04T17:37:45Z")
My favorite from the SDMB: > [@](#): > > Google “balrog wings” and you’ll get about 20,000 hits." It was pointed out that this would have been completely incomprehensible just a few years ago. ---
**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/5 "2004-05-04T17:44:13Z")
Once when I was half asleep, my husband asked me something and I responded with “I can’t help right now I have to get the little monkey some beer” :eek: and I had no idea what I said untill he started lauhing and I woke up and asked him WTF?? Then we both laughed about it. Then, another time we were being silly and making up nonsense stuff with geologic terms, we came up with “the bifracation of the manadnock has led to the pleochroism of the situation” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/6 "2004-05-04T17:51:07Z")
> [@](#): > > I expect the recipient of strange sentences is more likely to remember them than the utterer. Fair enough. Feel free to include overheard phrases! ---
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/7 "2004-05-04T18:07:28Z")
I keep asking myself, “why do I keep forgetting my tooth comb?” ---
**Author:** ![MeepersC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meepersc/32/12088_2.png) [@MeepersC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeepersC)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/8 "2004-05-04T18:13:48Z")
To my fiance, in response to him asking if I had fed the dog that night (I had just woken up from a nap, and still wasn’t all fully there) “Yeah, I gave him a big bowl of Tylenol.” ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/9 "2004-05-04T18:16:07Z")
Thaw four fat vats for Thor. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/10 "2004-05-04T18:41:36Z")
Courtesy of my wife: “Yeah, I was snoring like a light”. 😃 Also, I’m the one who has to get her out of bed in the morning, and every now and then I’ll hear an interesting, still-half-asleep story about how she can’t get up yet because she has to go get the root beer for the elephants and if she doesn’t then the television won’t deliver any oranges this week. Or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![herownself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8baadc/32.png) [@herownself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herownself)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/11 "2004-05-04T23:19:40Z")
“Don’t just sit there, come on over and join the party” Said by me to my then boyfriend now husband a few days after my big back surgery. We were alone in a darkened hospital room, he was sitting by the window so he could see well enough to read (I think). I was in so much pain that … well let’s not think about that. At this particular point I had a lot of morphine and no one had tried to make me move for a while. All the fun star-animals had come to hang out, invited by my good friend and guardian, the big red star horse. We were having a blast. And my poor sweetie was just sitting and reading his book. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/12 "2004-05-05T00:11:54Z")
In High School: As my friend and I walked out of Mayfair market, he was eating a handful of candies or something. I said ‘where did you get those?’ He said, ‘the sign said four-ninety-five a dozen, but I didn’t have a dozen, so I just took some!’ 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/13 "2004-05-05T00:19:04Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > In High School: > > As my friend and I walked out of Mayfair market, he was eating a handful of candies or something. I said ‘where did you get those?’ He said, ‘the sign said four-ninety-five a dozen, but I didn’t have a dozen, so I just took some!’ > > 😕 Funny in it’s own right and because I thought you said ‘candles’ ---
**Author:** ![jweb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@jweb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jweb)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/14 "2004-05-05T01:37:38Z")
How about something along the lines of: Nice mohawk, Father Kelly! ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/15 "2004-05-05T01:41:22Z")
I said this today with my friends at lunch. I don’t know why, it just popped out. _My teeth are blue because I lost a fight with a red pen._. ---
**Author:** ![Lynne\_kilii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d26b3c/32.png) [@Lynne\_kilii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynne_kilii)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/16 "2004-05-05T01:46:01Z")
Just two nights ago my boyfriend came to bed and said I love you and I said “I love you too, even if I do use disposable cameras.” I hate waking up just enough to know that theres no good reason whatever I’m saying should be coming out of my mouth… Another midnight mumble was “Thanks for making salads” Odd because I hate salad with a firey passion. In the dream, the salads weren’t for me, but… Sleeptalking is evil. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/17 "2004-05-05T02:36:03Z")
I have found myself saying things that I never thought a person should have to say, but I have a feeling that other parents have had to say them as well. Things along the lines of “it isn’t polite to poke strangers in the crotch with your crayons” and “mashed potatoes don’t belong in our ears” and so on. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/18 "2004-05-05T02:56:59Z")
What **OpalCat** said - sometimes some truly surreal stuff comes out of my face because of the children. Gallagher (shut up, I thought he ruled when I was 13) used the sentence, as demonstration, “Who put Vicks on the Cheez-Its?” My very favorite so far is “Don’t hit people with Superman.” I came to this thread because it was suggested that a sentence in my Pit thread would fit in: “Cock-chugging poison ivy.” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/19 "2004-05-05T02:59:39Z")
Making new and unusual sentences or phrases is a hobby of mine, too. But I took a Linguistics class some time ago and we were told that aside from stock utterances (like “Hi, Opal!”), there are so many possible sentences that can be formed in English that every sentence you speak has probably never been said before. ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/20 "2004-05-05T04:53:44Z")
“My ass needs to stay in touch with the proletariat.” – Me the other day. It was even more fun because I was talking to people I had just met. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481.md?page=2)