# Sentences Never Before Spoken **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 4, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481 "2004-05-04T16:37:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/41 "2004-05-06T11:53:01Z")
One more, and slightly off topic as it involves a word probably uttered before many times. We were walking in woods, I was wearing new shoes. I accidentally stood in a deep muddy hole. I looked down at my shoes and said “wrecked them” Which, in a heartbeat, triggered both our brains, being the type of people we are, to register this as a word that when said sounds exactly the same as what I had just said - ‘rectum’. This being such an utterly ‘left field’ word to say in the circumstances made it the result of a good 20 minutes hard laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/42 "2004-05-06T13:14:43Z")
uttered by me, in all it’s upsetting sincerity, “nurse, I think you’re going to have to put the catheter back in.” ---
**Author:** ![sqweels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/43 "2004-05-06T19:07:48Z")
“Classy move by Bonaduce” ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/44 "2004-05-06T19:32:07Z")
From my daugher, when she was 5: “You’re as lazy as a popcorn!” ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/45 "2004-05-06T23:27:34Z")
Hurry! Hurry! Or the snails will catch up to us. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/46 "2004-05-06T23:57:19Z")
When I was about three, I told my parents “I can only see with half an eye” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/47 "2004-05-07T00:11:32Z")
I’d have to nominate the Pit thread from earlier this year: “Woohoo-I am masturbating like a motherfuck!” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/48 "2004-05-07T02:11:22Z")
I once explained to some classmates that a character in something we’d read had done something “breathtakingly stupid,” and they seemed amazed that I’d put those two words together. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/49 "2004-05-07T02:24:32Z")
Role playing games lead to some seriously screwed up conversation. actual example from memory from a superheros game. “Okay, I’m gonna turn into mercury, and fly an acid missle up the giant alien Robot’s ass, …oh wait I can’t change form anymore because of the Venutian lava king’s curse.” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/50 "2004-05-07T02:33:20Z")
Heheh, it’s not mine, but I bet until it was posted here, nobody had ever said “I burning your dog!” before… ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/51 "2004-05-07T03:24:02Z")
Heard at the dinner table tonight: “I’m going to get to work with Anthrax, I’m so excited!” (Note to nervous nellies: This is at a federally funded lab, the speaker will be going thru an FBI background check, and will have to wear a “spacesuit” while working in the Anthrax lab.) ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/52 "2004-05-07T04:39:39Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I once explained to some classmates that a character in something we’d read had done something “breathtakingly stupid,” and they seemed amazed that I’d put those two words together. I know that’s not a “never before spoken” one because I, for one, use the phrase “breathtakingly stupid” on a regular basis. ---
**Author:** ![Pstarr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f19dbf/32.png) [@Pstarr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pstarr)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/53 "2004-05-07T05:26:39Z")
“…and the pubic hair was the icing on the cake.” -said by me, while explaining a decoration that I had created for my house. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/54 "2004-05-07T06:18:51Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > [Hold the newsreader’s nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers](http://www.geocities.com/mmemym/bits1/fal0058.htm) Bravo Mangetout! After the nonpareil brilliance of your “Mr Austin Wemba” thread I should have known you’d be a Fry & Laurie fan. To this thread I can add a friend’s 10-year-old son who, as his mother was trying to wake him up for school, protested “I’m much too flammable to go to Maui!” ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/55 "2004-05-07T07:11:44Z")
One from **racinchikki** that I will never, ever, ever forget: DO NOT PUT THE GRAPES IN THE DOG’S ANUS! And if I may toot my own horn just a bit: As Jim is violating this tranquilized, bound mermaid, so must you tranquilize, bind and… no… so must you violate… no… God DAMN it, _HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SEGUE INTO THE DAMNED PLUG FOR MUTUAL OF F_CKING OMAHA LIFE INSURANCE WITH YOU PORKING THE MERMAID!?\* ---
**Author:** ![AoverT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9d8465/32.png) [@AoverT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AoverT)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481/56 "2004-05-07T13:07:53Z")
Whilst not as dandy as some of the mechanisms already established, I do have these to offer: When discussing an art-house film with friends in which the men were being berated for whinging about the promise, but lack of, a lesbian sex scene by our wives, I managed, “I love the way women pretend not to like lesbian porn” (some then agreed). 😛 but perhaps my favourite occurs when you meet a friend newly done up and remark that they - “look as flash as a rat with a gold tooth!” 😃 enjoy…enjoin…in Joy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sentences-never-before-spoken/243481.md?page=2)