# separate beds for married couples **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 19, 2002, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725 "2002-12-19T02:34:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![gazpacho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@gazpacho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gazpacho)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/1 "2002-12-19T02:34:40Z")
Did married couples every really sleep in separate beds like in 50s TV shows. I am sure some did and still do but was it ever even common? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/2 "2002-12-19T02:46:19Z")
Of course it happened occasionally, just like it still does now-- if one partner is an unusually active sleeper, or has some other quirk that makes it inconvenient to sleep next to them. The “Two single beds in the master bedroom” thing you saw on TV and in movies was just an example of how the Hayes code skewed what was allowed to be shown. I’m disappointed, but I can’t find a link to the full Hayes code. I do remember that one of the specifications was that if a man and a woman were shown on a bed together, one foot had to be on the floor. Since this would effectively make any scene where it was necessary to show people waking up, or the common scene of people discussing something while in bed, a bit bizarre, it _alone_ might account for a decision to put two beds on the set. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/3 "2002-12-19T02:48:59Z")
I absolutely doubt it. Couples were shown with seperate beds on early television because showing them in one bed might be sexually suggestive. I don’t recall what TV couple was the first to be in the same bed, but I’ll bet someone on these boards knows. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/4 "2002-12-19T02:53:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pkbites \* > \*\*I don’t recall what TV couple was the first to be in the same bed, but I’ll bet someone on these boards knows. \*\* Hey, that person is me!😛 Thanks to [Snopes](http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/marykay.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/5 "2002-12-19T03:04:30Z")
Actually, I think I do! I’ve only seen one episode of _The Bickersons_ TV show, (although I’m a big fan of the radio series.) That episode took place entirely in the bedroom, and revolved around Blanche trying to get some sleep despite John’s thunderous snoring. King-sized bed. It was a live program, and although I don’t know what year it was from, it either predated _The Honeymooners_ or the archived copy of it has fared much much worse than _The Honeymooners_ ever did. It was beat to _hell_. But really, really funny. :previews: Guess not. ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/6 "2002-12-19T05:35:00Z")
My parents have seperate beds. They didn’t when they were newlyweds, though. They sleep seperately because they don’t love each other anymore. Actually come to think of it, both my maternal and paternal grandparents also slept in seperate beds. (one side through lack of love, and the other side for medical reasons) I don’t think it is all that common, but it does happen. I hope it never happens to me. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/7 "2002-12-19T06:16:19Z")
My maternal grandparents also slept in separate beds. As a kid, I thought it was because they were old-fashioned and felt it was improper to sleep together, but years later I learned it was because they too no longer loved each other. Divorce can be a good thing, boys and girls. They are the only ones I know of who slept separately. But then again, I was never one to inspect other people’s bedrooms. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/8 "2002-12-19T08:42:06Z")
Let me fine tune some of the comments above about movie and television portrayals of married couples’ beds. In later episodes of _I Love Lucy_, Lucy and Ricky were allowed to push their twin beds together, although their sheets and blankets stayed tucked down between the beds, effectively keeping them apart except for a goodnight smooch. And on one episode when they were on vacation with the Mertzes and couldn’t find decent lodging, all four shared the same large room, in two queen-sized wrought iron beds that scuttled across the floor every time a train roared by and shook the whole place. The Hayes Office (later, The Breen Office) was the nickname for the Motion Picture Producers and Distributors Association (now the Motion Picture Association of America). They did not regulate television production. The MPPDA’s production code began to allow movies to show couples lying in the same bed in the mid-1950s, about 15 years before television did. And before the Code began to be enforced in 1934, married couples were shown lying in the same bed. So, it was in the period 1934-1954 that the “one foot on the floor” rule was enforced in Hollywood. Other countries did not have this rule, and you can see couples sharing beds in English and French movies from this period. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/9 "2002-12-19T10:14:43Z")
I have some friends, a young (both around 30), loving, married couple, who appear to be totally happy and in love, and yet who apparently sleep in separate beds. They have separate bedrooms, at least; I don’t know with certainty that they actually sleep separately, since I’ve never been at their house when they were sleeping. Personally, I find it odd because I’ve never seen it before, but frankly it’s none of my business; they seem to be very happy together, and if they’ve found a living arrangement that makes both of them happy, then I am 100% in favor of it. ---
**Author:** ![mrcrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@mrcrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrcrow)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/10 "2002-12-19T10:26:34Z")
beds are for sleeping for long periods if you dont get a good nights sleep you wont feel refreshed the double makes a good platform to have sex on but not sound sleep, except for the warmth factor, which can be too hot for one and not for the other i have used both but have had the best sleep in a single as in most of the hotels we stay in when travelling…you can make out on a single…its who’s which is the problem sleep well ps a double suits a small room as well where singles may need a space between. double accesories may be cheaper than 2xsingle you can only fall out of bed on one side with a double unless you are in japan and use a proper fouton ---
**Author:** ![rampisad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/858c86/32.png) [@rampisad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rampisad)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/11 "2002-12-19T10:27:04Z")
Orthodox (and observant) Jewish couples should sleep in separate beds - it’s required that the beds be physically separated when the woman has her period, and they can be pushed together the rest of the time. I sleep in separate beds because it’s harder for my wife to kick me when I’m snoring!:o ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/12 "2002-12-19T10:27:51Z")
Marcie tosses, turns, and kicks the covers off the bed. I snore horrendously and am up and down three or four times a night. We have separate bedrooms and have had for the seven years we’ve been together. I don’t know how common such an arrangement is, but it works for us. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/13 "2002-12-19T10:50:54Z")
I have a friend who sleeps in a seperate bed from her SO. Her Reason: “There’s more room with two singles then a single double”. ---
**Author:** ![Susanann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@Susanann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susanann)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/14 "2002-12-19T12:01:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Walloon \* > \*\*Let me fine tune some of the comments above about movie and television portrayals of married couples’ beds. In later episodes of _I Love Lucy_, Lucy and Ricky were allowed to push their twin beds together, although their sheets and blankets stayed tucked down between the beds, effectively keeping them apart except for a goodnight smooch. . \*\* Lucy and Desi were actually married in real life, did not get along with each other, and divorced. Most mansions of famous rich people, now open to the public, that I have visited as a tourist, have separate bedrooms for husband and wife. ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/15 "2002-12-19T12:53:05Z")
Not in separate beds, but often my husband sleeps on the couch because he snores unbelievable loud and he’s a very restless sleeper. We have friends, that sleep in separate beds, because the husband gets up very early to go to work and doesn’t want to disturb his wife. ---
**Author:** ![AndrewL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@AndrewL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndrewL)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/16 "2002-12-19T13:56:03Z")
My wife and I sleep in seperate beds. It’s mostly a matter of schedule - I have to go to bed early and get up early for work, while she’s self-employed as a videographer and prefers to do her editing in the middle of the night. We sleep in seperate rooms so we’ll both get a solid night’s sleep. We’ve been considering sleeping in the same bedroom once we move out fo our condo into a real house, but it’ll mean a change in sleep schedule for one of us. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/17 "2002-12-19T14:08:23Z")
My grandfather used to work nights, so he had his own bedroom in the back of the house - it was the darkest and quietest room during the daytime. My dad and mom had separate rooms for the last few years of his life because he had trouble getting to sleep and he liked to watch TV into the wee hours. Having his own room let him and Mom go with their individual sleeping schedules without disturbing the other. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/18 "2002-12-19T15:23:41Z")
I bet it is much more common than people realize. My grandparents (maternal) had separate bedrooms, once the kids left and they could. I don’t know exactly why; they didn’t act as if they weren’t married in other ways. But I was surprised to discover when I spent a year in Switzerland that twin beds seemed extremely common. And my Swiss friends who seem to still enjoy each other in the daytime (and even spent six months together recently living in a camper in Australia) have separate rooms at home, as I was astonished to discover. Have they given up on sex? Well, I am not about to ask. My parents shared a 54" bed their entire married life and that alone might have tempted me to sleep elsewhere. My wife and I have 78", but even the difference between 54" and 60" is enormous in comfort. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/19 "2002-12-19T15:42:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\*My maternal grandparents also slept in separate beds. As a kid, I thought it was because they were old-fashioned and felt it was improper to sleep together, but years later I learned it was because they too no longer loved each other. Divorce can be a good thing, boys and girls. > > They are the only ones I know of who slept separately. But then again, I was never one to inspect other people’s bedrooms. \*\* My parents love each other very much, but sleep in separate beds. A few years back my Mom had a really bad back injury, and needed to sleep alone, and they just got used to it. I often sleep apart from Mrs. RickJay because I have sleeping problems, not a big deal but we’re working on it. There’s no lack of love, it’s just that adequate sleep is a serious health requirement, and there’s no point in getting sick to maintain a social tradition. We prefer to sleep together, but when I’m really restless I don’t have a choice. Sleeping together is a social convention, not a necessity. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/20 "2002-12-19T15:57:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jackelope \* > \*\*I have some friends, a young (both around 30), loving, married couple, who appear to be totally happy and in love, and yet who apparently sleep in separate beds. They have separate bedrooms, at least; I don’t know with certainty that they actually sleep separately, since I’ve never been at their house when they were sleeping. > > Personally, I find it odd because I’ve never seen it before, but frankly it’s none of my business; they seem to be very happy together, and if they’ve found a living arrangement that makes both of them happy, then I am 100% in favor of it. \*\* They might be on to something. Maybe the separate bedrooms is what keeps them happy and in love? Seriously. To sleep with someone, which is not compatible with your own sleeping can put a strain on the relationship. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725.md?page=2)