# separate beds for married couples **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 19, 2002, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725 "2002-12-19T02:34:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/21 "2002-12-19T16:15:04Z")
I woke up at 2AM last night to take a whizz. Mrs. Bernse was not next to me and I found her sleeping in a spare room. She said I was snoring too much. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/22 "2002-12-19T16:35:14Z")
Both Lady Chances parents (when her dad was still alive) and one of my uncles and his wife sleep seperately. My uncle because his wife can’t sleep with anyone else in her bed and my in-laws One-Does-Not-Inquire. But I note that they’re in the 70, for what it’s worth. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/23 "2002-12-19T16:47:44Z")
My grandparents (the maternal ones) share a bed, but my grandfather snores like a freight train. They are still very much in love (after almost 65 years!) and very physically affectionate, but often Grandpop ends up on the couch just so he doesn’t drive Grandmom insane from sleep deprivation. I swear, you can hear him across their condo when he snores, through closed doors and everything. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/24 "2002-12-19T17:13:34Z")
Well, if one spouse has “those jimmy legs…” ---
**Author:** ![Morrison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Morrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrison)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/25 "2002-12-19T17:40:25Z")
I’m not married, but I have always been in favor of separate beds for couples. I absolutely hate it when girlfriends sleep over for all of the reasons described above (moving around, different schedules, snoring, going to the bathroom, etc.). After fun time is over, it just makes sense for each person to have their own space for a good night’s sleep. Plus, I can flatulate without guilt. Separate bathrooms makes sense to me too! ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/26 "2002-12-20T10:16:30Z")
I didn’t mean to imply that couples who don’t sleep together don’t love each other. My comment was specific to my grandparents. If I didn’t make that clear and offended anyone in the process, I apologize. ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/27 "2003-01-16T13:55:40Z")
Oh I want this… I adore my SO very, very much. When he’s awake. When he sleeps he snores like a jet engine. But if I get up to sleep elsewhere he gets hurt that I don’t want to sleep with him. I would love to sleep with him. If I actually got any sleep rather than spending weeks getting not enough and being tired and cranky all the time. I have things to do with my life that need me to be me! Currently I’m trying to get a pattern going where I can sleep elsewhere for 2-3 nights then suffer through a night with no sleep. He’s not happy. ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/28 "2003-01-16T14:54:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Morrison \* > **I’m not married, but I have always been in favor of separate beds for couples. I absolutely hate it when girlfriends sleep over for all of the reasons described above (moving around, different schedules, snoring, going to the bathroom, etc.). After fun time is over, it just makes sense for each person to have their own space for a good night’s sleep. Plus, I can flatulate without guilt.** What about the time-honoured tradition of the Dutch oven? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Grelby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a5b964/32.png) [@Grelby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grelby)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/29 "2003-03-10T02:48:38Z")
I’ve never actually shared a bed with someone, but I can understand reasons for not wanting to. This summer, I shared a tiny tent with a girl (strictly platonic, mind you). This thing really was tiny; we were like sardines, right up next to each other all night. It would have been nice, except that our sleeping patterns were indeed different. For one thing, she slept like a log. NOTHING would wake her up. And she snored. GOD, did she snore. I didn’t get much sleep that night. It was miserable. So in that case, if I’d been involved with and living with this girl, I would be in a seperate room, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![AnnieJamesWuvsYou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AnnieJamesWuvsYou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnnieJamesWuvsYou)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/30 "2003-03-10T03:29:29Z")
My paternal grandparents do. They used to share one big bed but that my grandmum got very ill and had to have a seperate bed. But they are still very close together and its somewhat like having one big bed. ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/31 "2003-03-10T06:19:31Z")
I often wish I had my own bedroom. My dh snores incredibly loudly. Anyone have a cure for snoring? I bet the seperate bed incidences would go way down. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/32 "2003-03-10T07:06:01Z")
There can be a certain mystique to having seperate bedrooms. It can be sexy to visit someone’s bedroom for sex. Many people consider going straight to sleep after sex without washing up to be a little icky, and if your gonna go through all the trouble of washing up, you might as well go back to your own room to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![SDHAsia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SDHAsia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SDHAsia)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/33 "2003-03-10T11:48:50Z")
Separate beds: never. Separate blankets: oh, from very early on. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/34 "2003-03-10T14:25:18Z")
my maternal grandparents slept in separate beds, but pushed together. weird, huh. because she likes firm mattresses, and he didn’t. separate duvets too. grandparents are strange. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725/35 "2003-03-10T17:09:15Z")
My MIL, who is 80, says that having separate beds became fashionable sometime in the mid-40’s, and remained so through the 50’s (prompted by TV, perhaps?). Cute related story: A teenage girl says to her grandmother, “Grandma, I notice you and Grandpa have separate beds. Why is that?” Grandma says, “Well, Grandpa rolls around a lot in his sleep, and we both sleep better if we sleep separately”. “Well,” says the teen, blushing, “what about, well, you know. . .” Grandma says, “Oh, yes, I know. Well, you see, every night, Grandpa wears his hat to bed. Before he goes to sleep, he throws his hat over to me. Sometimes I throw it back. And sometimes, I bring it!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/separate-beds-for-married-couples/143725.md?page=1)