# September rants - sorry, no cute name
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [September 1, 2013, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706 "2013-09-01T02:59:58Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 13
### Author:  [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2013, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/241 "2013-09-12T23:26:21Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#):
>
> Can I please hear the details of neither?
>
> I’m momentarily enraged by the fortune I got from my fortune cookie at lunch:
>
> “He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak.”
>
> Hey, fortune cookie fortune writer, I believe you should go fuck yourself!
Oh yeah? Well I got a fortune cookie the other night that was empty. And stale.
---
### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2013, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/242 "2013-09-12T23:40:47Z")
Tuesday night. So tired I went to bed and was asleep by 8:30pm. Woke up at 11:34pm with my head (and only my head) drenched with sweat. Could not get back to sleep, even after taking another trazadone. Ended up getting up at 3am and taking a shower, going to McDonalds for breakfast at 4am, to work at 6am. Dragged out tired all day long, faded hard at the end of the day and left work yesterday at 3pm.
Was supposed to come home, clean up, do some minor tasks and go back up for a 5:30pm team dinner. Instead by the time I got home I was in bad shape. Ate a sandwich (turkey & provolone on oat bread), cranked up the AC, laid down on the floor of my living room and promptly fell asleep. Woke up about 10:15pm, spent about an hour cleaning up and puttering about, then went to bed. Slept straight through until Maggie (cat) woke me up at 4:59am, one minute before my alarm. As anyone here knows, I don’t normally sleep ‘straight through’ anything.
Struggled through the day half in a fog because we had all week team meetings and they were both important, and actually worthwhile.
We’ll see how I sleep tonight and how I feel in the morning. I told myself I would not call in sick in my first two months on the job.
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### Author:  [@DummyGladHands](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DummyGladHands)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/243 "2013-09-12T23:41:18Z")
I pit fortune cookies in general. Didn’t they used to have “fortunes?” Now they just have lame platitudes.
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### Author:  [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2013, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/244 "2013-09-12T23:51:28Z")
Hey, the economy has been affecting every aspect of the restaurant business, and platitude cookies are two percent less expensive than fortune cookies, when bought in bulk.
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### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2013, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/245 "2013-09-12T23:55:40Z")
I have one sitting in front of me that I got the other day. It says “The coming month shall bring you much happiness.”
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### Author:  [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/246 "2013-09-13T00:07:30Z")
> [@Morgyn](#):
>
> How cheap are we talking? Is this one that you put [tea and water in and heat on the stove](http://www.amazon.com/Rosseto-Japanese-Style-Teapot-Ounce/dp/B001RCTAVK/ref=sr_1_9?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1379019780&sr=1-9&keywords=loose+leaf+tea+pot), or do you have to [add hot water to it](http://www.amazon.com/Rishi-Tea-Simple-Loose-Teapot/dp/B008YDOKL0/ref=pd_sim_gro_4)? (Hope those links help.)
>
> Ooops. That Japanese tea kettle is NOT for heating up the water. My mistake. ☹
We add water, from the fountain which keeps it warm (and cold). It sucks, but it’s good enough in a pinch. I’m not buying a kettle to replace the one I tried to use once when I started, I made a cup of tea and dumped it out because the water was all scaley.
Cheap as in I paid about 4 bucks for one which was a little pot with a filter that hung on the lip of the rim. I don’t bring anything worth much to work as we’ve had stuff disappear before. More than once the cleaners have broken items also, which is probably what happened here.
I’ll probably just go buy another teaball for work, or give in and buy myself a good cup from one of the tea shops that is popping up now.
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### Author:  [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/247 "2013-09-13T03:46:14Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#):
>
> Hey, the economy has been affecting every aspect of the restaurant business, and platitude cookies are two percent less expensive than fortune cookies, when bought in bulk.
My husband and I had Chinese on Monday. We had the same fortune!
My sister has a pretty bad case of Crohn’s disease. The symptoms can be alleviated and controlled by infusions of Remicade every now and then. She had an infusion scheduled for today, and when they started giving her the drug, she reacted to it. So now she and her doctor have to figure out just what, if anything, they can do.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/248 "2013-09-13T05:35:28Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#):
>
> \
>
> Is there any way to train cats to go SOMEWHERE THE HELL ELSE when they want to lick their assholes?
It’s not the licking that bugs me so much as the slurping sounds. :eek:
> [@Mr.Miskatonic](#):
>
> Arrrgh! You stupid jogging skank!
>
> If you are going to stand right in front of the fucking ‘Press to cross’ button maybe you could, like , y’know, PUSH THE GODDAMN BUTTON!
>
> Its not hidden. It states what it does. Its colored in bright colors, and if you do not press it we will never cross this street safely. If you can’t press the fucking button then get out of the way for those of us who will.
After witnessing someone standing at the crosswalk and not having pressed the button so we all waited an extra cycle, I now walk up and press the button even if someone is already standing there. People is dumb.
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### Author:  [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/249 "2013-09-13T08:04:49Z")
I have a favorite fairy tale/fable that I tell my kids often. I’ll share: “Once upon a time, people are dumb. The end.”
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### Author:  [@MickNickMaggies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MickNickMaggies)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/250 "2013-09-13T08:19:13Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#):
>
> It’s not the licking that bugs me so much as the slurping sounds. :eek:
Our cat slurps his toes. In the middle of the night. He’s too fat/lazy/old to reach his bumhole/harbles on a regular basis. Thank goodness for small mercies.
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### Author:  [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/251 "2013-09-13T11:07:29Z")
> [@curlcoat](#):
>
> :eek:
>
> 😕
A bit of [backstory](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=640198).
---
### Author:  [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/252 "2013-09-13T12:25:20Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#):
>
> After witnessing someone standing at the crosswalk and not having pressed the button so we all waited an extra cycle, I now walk up and press the button even if someone is already standing there. People is dumb.
I’m always surprised when people actually use them, because I forget they [sometimes have an effect](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/713/do-push-to-walk-buttons-at-intersections-ever-actually-work). I must be using them during normal walk hours or something.
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### Author:  [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/253 "2013-09-13T13:31:56Z")
I dropped one of my dogs off at the vet this morning for some surgery to remove growths from her mouth. Despite the $1500 bill that’s coming when I pick her up that’s not my gripe.
I now have a 90lb whimpering, worried looking shadow and if I get through this day without killing him or myself it’s going to be a miracle. I’ve already tripped over him twice and it’s only been an hour!
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### Author:  [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/254 "2013-09-13T15:28:34Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#):
>
> I’m always surprised when people actually use them, because I forget they [sometimes have an effect](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/713/do-push-to-walk-buttons-at-intersections-ever-actually-work). I must be using them during normal walk hours or something.
San Francisco has these buttons at many downtown intersections. But the buttons don’t actually affect the lights. All they do is trigger the different noises about when it’s safe to cross and when you shouldn’t cross. The noises will continue for several minutes, and then if no-one presses the button again they will stop.
So maybe some of the people you see not pushing these buttons are from around here?
Roddy
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### Author:  [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/255 "2013-09-13T15:45:04Z")
> [@Chimera](#):
>
> Woke up at 11:34pm with my head (and only my head) drenched with sweat.
Maybe you need a [Chillow](http://www.amazon.com/SoothSoft-604232777510-Chillow/dp/B0000V0E14).
😃
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### Author:  [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/256 "2013-09-13T16:04:46Z")
If you’re going to ride your bike in the street the wrong direction around the traffic circle, then look like you’re going to dart out in front of me from the crosswalk, don’t be surprised if, when I have to slam on my breaks to keep from possibly hitting you, I also lay on my horn and yell at you for being an idiot.
Oh, and don’t tell me _I’m_ the one breaking the law for stopping in the traffic circle. I guess I could have just plowed into you.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/257 "2013-09-13T16:14:33Z")
Speaking of traffic lights, when there is a ten minute train going by, do you suppose you could adapt the lights so that pedestrians get a crossing light somewhere in those ten minutes? I understand why the cars can’t go (there’s nowhere for them TO go), but the pedes could still walk.
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### Author:  [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/258 "2013-09-13T16:54:44Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#):
>
> Speaking of traffic lights, when there is a ten minute train going by, do you suppose you could adapt the lights so that pedestrians get a crossing light somewhere in those ten minutes? I understand why the cars can’t go (there’s nowhere for them TO go), but the pedes could still walk.
Silly **Cat Whisperer** , that’s what jaywalking is for. 😉
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### Author:  [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/259 "2013-09-13T18:15:51Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#):
>
> San Francisco has these buttons at many downtown intersections. But the buttons don’t actually affect the lights. All they do is trigger the different noises about when it’s safe to cross and when you shouldn’t cross. The noises will continue for several minutes, and then if no-one presses the button again they will stop.
>
> So maybe some of the people you see not pushing these buttons are from around here?
> Roddy
We have those buttons in Edmonton too (not saying all our crossing buttons are like that, just that we have some). People often push them even if there is a sign right over the button that says “Button for audible signal only”.
---
### Author:  [@Kelevra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelevra)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2013, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/september-rants-sorry-no-cute-name/667706/260 "2013-09-13T18:27:47Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#):
>
> Well, not only is that wrong, but it’s not even a fortune. I hate that I rarely get an actual fortune in my fortune cookies. Mostly it’s sappy “wisdom” or proverbs or some shit like that. Would it hurt them to make stuff up like, “Tomorrow will be awesome” or “Your travels will be far and wide”?
I suppose it’s not an actual fortune, but the best one I ever had said “You are the greatest in the world”.
I took it home and put it on the refrigerator.
My wife threw it away.
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