# Sequals That Should Never Be Made **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 19, 2002, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940 "2002-10-19T03:44:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/21 "2002-10-20T11:01:32Z")
Shindler’s List 2: Die, Shindler, Die Saving Ryan’s Privates: Our intrepid hero Private Ryan is now a widower in his 80’s. Watch as he braves hip breaking bath tubs, fresh kids, and young people who drive to fast as he searches for his bottle of Viagra and that much younger crazy stripper girlfriend because he finally earned it. Spartacus 2: Micheal Douglass plays the role of Sparky the long lost son of Spartacus. Also starring Tony Curtis dressed up as Jamie Lee Curtis. A.I. 2: You thought the first one was boring? Marc ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/22 "2002-10-20T12:13:23Z")
_Planet of the Apes 2: The Shit Throwing Years_ ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/23 "2002-10-20T13:42:44Z")
George Burns and Sylvester Stallone starring in \*\* Oh God, It’s Rocky VI\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Devorzhum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Devorzhum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Devorzhum)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/24 "2002-10-20T15:45:04Z")
**Hannibal** ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/25 "2002-10-20T17:13:05Z")
Godfather IV: Yes, this one _is_ for the money. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/26 "2002-10-20T17:28:38Z")
SLINGBLADE: THE SERIES- each week Carl is released from the institution, finds a person or family in need, solves their problems with folksy wisdom and violence, and is returned to state care. It’s TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL meets FRIDAY XIII. GOLDEN GIRLS THE MOTION PICTURE: SENILE GALS GONE WILD OLSEN TWINS 2025- MENOPAUSAL AND LOVING IT INDIANA JONES AND THE MISSING NIKES- the archaeologist loses his position due to university cutbacks and takes a job as a floorwalk at the local Target. MIRACLE WORKER II: BLIND JUSTICE- Helen and Annie become undercover agents; sponsored in part by a $3 million product placement from Dasani. “It’s a word Helen… W…A…T…E…R…” “Wa…wa…” (Then upon tasting Dasani): “Now Baby, THAT is what I CALL WATER!” GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER NOW… Sidney Poitier and Katherine Houghton must test how liberal their own views are when their son brings home his date, Butch. Isabel Sanford and Katherine Hepburn reprise their roles with the aid of digital animation. BECKET II: NO MORE MR. NICE GUY- the Archbishop of Canterbury is back and he’s madder than hell… TITANIC 2- Rose remembers that she two-timed Jack and it involves the Hope diamond. For the third in the series, she remembers she was also on the Lusitania and the Hindenberg. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/27 "2002-10-20T17:44:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MGibson \* > **Shindler’s List 2: Die, Shindler, Die** The German-dubbed version will be called _The Schindler, The_. Also:_Plan 10 From Outer Space_ ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/28 "2002-10-20T18:17:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sampiro \* > \*\* > GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER NOW… Sidney Poitier and Katherine Houghton must test how liberal their own views are when their son brings home his date, Butch. Isabel Sanford and Katherine Hepburn reprise their roles with the aid of digital animation. > \*\* I came up with a very similar idea once, inspired by a biracial actress friend who was complaining about the small number of roles available for her. I threatened to write a script in which she would play the daughter of Sidney Poitier and Katherine Houghton who would shock her parents by coming home from college and revealing that her roommate was more than just a good friend. The girlfriend’s parents would be overall-clad lesbian granola farmers who would be equally shocked to discover that their daughter’s girlfriend was an upper-class bisexual. And now for my entry, _Dead Man 2_. Bill Blake’s canoe is discovered by the eccentric crew of a whaling ship. They manage to revive Blake, nurse him back to health, train him in the martial arts, and return him to the town of Machine. In a thrilling climax, Blake stabs Mr. Dickinson to death with a harpoon, shouting “How’s that for fearful symmetry?” Watch for the cameo by David Bowie as a transgendered saloon girl! ---
**Author:** ![dinahmoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dinahmoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dinahmoe)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/29 "2002-10-20T20:04:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bryan Ekers \* > \*\* > > The German-dubbed version will be called _The Schindler, The_. > > \*\* Cheers, Sideshow Bryan! I needed a good giggle, and I just about bust a gut over this:) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/30 "2002-10-21T01:58:00Z")
**Braverheart** : _My Life As An Organ Donor_ ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/31 "2002-10-21T03:01:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MGibson \*\*\*Shindler’s List 2: Die, Shindler, Die \*\* For some reason I feel this one should be called **Schindler’s _Other_ List**. :eek: How about, in the mould of sequels that ignore the original: **Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid Ride Again**? Or a play: **Still Waiting for Godot**? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/32 "2002-10-21T03:07:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Apollyon \* > \*\* > Or a play: **Still Waiting for Godot**? \*\* _Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Still Dead_. Years ago I saw a _MadTV_ skit about _Sling Blade 2_, in which Billy Bob Thorton saves the human race by defeating an alien invasion with his knife. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/33 "2002-10-21T05:00:18Z")
_Grave of the Fireflies 2: High Spirits_ Seta and Setsuko, now ghosts, get back at their Aunt for throwing them out to starve in a wacky, fun-filled romp for the whole family. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/34 "2002-10-21T05:25:52Z")
**The Second Greatest Story Ever Told** Epic scale chronicle of the life of Fred of Nazareth. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/35 "2002-10-21T06:36:28Z")
Star Wars Episode 7: The Typical Middle Aged Marriage In which Han Solo leaves Princess Leia for a 20 year old Twilek courtesian. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/36 "2002-11-26T16:02:00Z")
“Saving Ryan’s Privates” is probably a porn title. ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/37 "2002-11-26T16:37:29Z")
**widdershins** - sorry to break it to you: > **[You knew it would never end LETHAL WEAPON 5!](http://legacy.aintitcool.com/node/13845)** > > Hey folks, Harry here A couple of days ago, Danny Glover mentioned on a radio station somewhere out there in the world that we hadn't seen the last of the Lethal Weapon movies. That wasn't enough info for me to put a story together on, but... and **Seven** - 'fraid so: [http://us.imdb.com/Details?0107438](http://us.imdb.com/Details?0107438) But how about: **What happened?** - Geezers Roj, Rerun, and Dwayne sit in their retirement home, reminiscing about their “Hey-Hey-Hey”-day. or **Return of The Country Bears** ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/38 "2002-11-26T16:50:08Z")
Please - STOP TEMPTING FATE! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/39 "2002-11-26T17:50:27Z")
**Alien: Resurrection** **Battlefield Earth 2** - I hear this one might actually happen ::cringes:: **Biodome 2** - set in Mars, they all die thanks to Pauly **Dude, Where’s My Brain?** - they misplace their shared brain **Gone Fishing 2** - I don’t even wanna bother… **Lethal Weapon 4** **Memento 2: Lenny Gets Amnesia** - He finally forgets that he has a condition that prevents him from having short-term memory **Men in Black 2** **Pulp Fiction 2: Nonfiction** - Quentin gets delusional and starts shooting up people at McDonald’s **Star Trek V: The Final Frontier** **Star Trek: Insurrection** **Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace** - I know it’s a prequel but feel it should be included in this list **Star Wars Episode II: The Attack of the Clones** ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940/40 "2002-11-26T18:15:19Z")
Sorry **kasuo** : [http://us.imdb.com/Details?0318055](http://us.imdb.com/Details?0318055) (It’s got a great title, though.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sequals-that-should-never-be-made/132940.md?page=3)