# Serious questions about, um, breaking wind **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 13, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083 "2004-02-13T19:16:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mlerose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@mlerose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlerose)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/1 "2004-02-13T19:16:20Z")
If you pass gas when you’re outside on a really cold day, does a visible breath-type cloud come out of your rear end? If so, why? If not, why not? I tried searching and couldn’t come up with any threads about this. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/2 "2004-02-13T19:42:47Z")
If one does, hopefully it won’t be with the same frequency as that of your breath and hopefully the expulsions won’t in like manner increase in size when you run. When you see your breath coming out in cold weather, it’s not just air you’re seeing, it’s also any water vapor that’s suspended in the air. When you exhale, water from your lungs accompanies the air. If it’s cold out, that vapor from your lungs condenses and changes from a gaseous state into liquid droplets. It’s those droplets that you’re actually seeing. Back to your windage ponderance… I suppose if your colon has a high moisture content and some moist fart particles, or “farticles”, were to be violently blown into a cold environment then yes, you might witness a mushroom cloud exiting someone’s anus. Bear in mind though that diffusion by articles of clothing might skew the symmetry of said cloud. ---
**Author:** ![boofy\_bloke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@boofy\_bloke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boofy_bloke)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/3 "2004-02-14T01:16:00Z")
Remember, also, that a fart produces less gas/moisture expulsion than a breath and that your clothes absorb some of the moisture so the cloud would be harder to see. Also, people tend to look at faces, not bums, so it’s harder to notice farts in the wild (and people try to hide them). ---
**Author:** ![spingears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/4 "2004-02-14T03:46:11Z")
Why not conduct an experiment. Eat a lot of beans and/or gas producing food. Go outside into the cold, pull down your pants and wait for the gas flow. A hand mirror might be handy to assist in the observation. Seriously the gas is emerging from a wet enviornment and is at near 100% humidity. The volume expelled under normal conditions is warmed between you cheeks and has to diffuse through underwear, if any, and your pants, being warmed up, on te way. Not likely to cause a visible mushroom cloud. ---
**Author:** ![spingears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/5 "2004-02-14T03:55:52Z")
Why not conduct an experiment. Eat a lot of beans and/or gas producing food. Go outside into the cold, pull down your pants and wait for the gas flow. A hand mirror might be handy to assist in the observation. Seriously the gas is emerging from a wet enviornment and is at near 100% humidity. The volume expelled under normal conditions is warmed between you cheeks and has to diffuse through underwear, if any, and your pants, being warmed up, on te way. Not likely to cause a visible mushroom cloud. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/6 "2004-02-14T08:29:14Z")
> [@mlerose](#): > > If you pass gas when you’re outside on a really cold day, does a visible breath-type cloud come out of your rear end? > > If so, why? If not, why not? > > I tried searching and couldn’t come up with any threads about this. I’ve had my own questions about farts of late, but this one never occurred to me. So I must ask: WHY do you want to know this? Are you afraid people will see clouds of vapor when you cut the cheese? I grew up in Maine winters, which are fairly brutal, but never on a cold day did I see a puff of steam exit somebody’s ass. I have a feeling that, even if it could happen in principle, clothing tends to dissipate the flow of air, especially bulky winter clothing. If someone were to drop trow, I suppose, and let a nice warm-'n-juicy rip, I suppose it’s possible there might be some visible condensed moisture. I mean, hell, if you can see bubbles in the tub… ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/7 "2004-02-14T14:07:14Z")
From [“Facts on Farts”](http://www.heptune.com/farts.html) : > [@](#): > > John of the UK said, “Farts expelled in cold air leave what can only be described as a long bushy tail. This is quite funny waiting on a train station platform on a cold dark frosty morning. A person will move away from everyone to a safe distance, and then release a long quiet fart, only to have a sudden and dramatic long bushy white tail coming from their anus; it goes down a little way and slowly curves up ending in a point, just like a dogs tail!” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/8 "2004-02-14T14:11:59Z")
Okay, tried it. Ambient temp. about 59 degrees Fahrenheit, and I’m about 33 meters above sea level. Pulled down pants on balcony at night, with large floor lamp pointing across buttocks. Set up mirror and ordered roommate’s girlfriend to help with observation on pain of telling her parents what they get up to. Observations: Upon release, a cloud of some kind was visible to her, though not to me. The cloud was described as similar to one produced by a smoker in cold air. Conclusions: My rectum is damp. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/9 "2004-02-14T14:42:31Z")
> [@dutchboy208](#): > > Conclusions: My rectum is damp. ::Falls down laughing:: That line should NOT be so funny. Anyway, as to the OP: I concur with the earlier posters - unless you plan to go to dutchboy’s lengths and drop trou in the cold, it’s unlikely a visible cloud will form. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/10 "2004-02-14T16:24:03Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > ::Falls down laughing:: > > That line should NOT be so funny. > > Anyway, as to the OP: I concur with the earlier posters - unless you plan to go to dutchboy’s lengths and drop trou in the cold, it’s unlikely a visible cloud will form. It certainly shouldn’t be funny. That was pure research, in a controlled environment (okay, I ate a lot of beans and turned the balcony lights on) with an impartial observer present. I’m still trying to figure out if there’s a painless way of measuring the relative humidity inside my arse. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/11 "2004-02-14T23:43:16Z")
> [@dutchboy208](#): > > I’m still trying to figure out if there’s a painless way of measuring the relative humidity inside my arse. I don’t see why not. You can get hygrometers pretty cheap from any electronics store and all you need to do is… Oh, wait, you said painless. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/12 "2004-02-15T04:33:17Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > If one does, hopefully it won’t be with the same frequency as that of your breath and hopefully the expulsions won’t in like manner increase in size when you run. > > When you see your breath coming out in cold weather, it’s not just air you’re seeing, it’s also any water vapor that’s suspended in the air. When you exhale, water from your lungs accompanies the air. If it’s cold out, that vapor from your lungs condenses and changes from a gaseous state into liquid droplets. It’s those droplets that you’re actually seeing. > > Back to your windage ponderance… I suppose if your colon has a high moisture content and some moist fart particles, or “farticles”, were to be violently blown into a cold environment then yes, you might witness a mushroom cloud exiting someone’s anus. > > Bear in mind though that diffusion by articles of clothing might skew the symmetry of said cloud. Holy shitballs!! By brother and I invented the word “farticle” when we were in grade school. Have not heard the term in use until this very moment, this very thread. That was about 24 years ago. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![boofy\_bloke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@boofy\_bloke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boofy_bloke)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/13 "2004-02-15T23:10:20Z")
**dutchboy** , please repeat with clothes ON so we get the full range. Oh, a streaming video would be nice, too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pope\_hentai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@pope\_hentai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pope_hentai)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/14 "2004-02-16T02:30:41Z")
> [@boofy\_bloke](#): > > **dutchboy** , please repeat with clothes ON so we get the full range. Oh, a streaming video would be nice, too. 😃 dont you mean a “steaming” video? ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/15 "2004-02-16T05:13:10Z")
**dutchboy208** , I hereby award you the _Mangeorge Award For Meritorious Duty In The Fighting of Ignorance._\* Named after the poster who fried up a load of semen in a pan, just to answer a question posted on the SDMB, this award goes out to those posters who go above and beyond in the fight against ignorance. I award you this for **blackmailing your roommate’s girlfriend** into watching your **bare ass** while you try to **squeeze out a fart** in the **freezing cold** , to see if it makes a cloud. How many of us could have, or would have, done the same? Even among those of us who would willingly expose our asses to the cold winter air, how many of us could have found an accomplice? \*Tentacle Monster hands dutchboy208 a medal, which looks remarkably like a small golden frying pan with a bit of what looks like frying egg white in the bottom. Wear it proudly, dutchboy, for you have truly gone above and beyond! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/16 "2004-02-16T07:51:12Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > **dutchboy208** , I hereby award you the _Mangeorge Award For Meritorious Duty In The Fighting of Ignorance._\* Named after the poster who fried up a load of semen in a pan, just to answer a question posted on the SDMB, this award goes out to those posters who go above and beyond in the fight against ignorance. > > I award you this for **blackmailing your roommate’s girlfriend** into watching your **bare ass** while you try to **squeeze out a fart** in the **freezing cold** , to see if it makes a cloud. How many of us could have, or would have, done the same? Even among those of us who would willingly expose our asses to the cold winter air, how many of us could have found an accomplice? > > \*Tentacle Monster hands dutchboy208 a medal, which looks remarkably like a small golden frying pan with a bit of what looks like frying egg white in the bottom. > > Wear it proudly, dutchboy, for you have truly gone above and beyond! _runs around clutching medal and screaming like a little girl_ My proudest moment! I’d like to thank the Academy of Straight Dope Arts and Sciences, Kathleen Bush for coming up with the Bush Beans family recipe, Brett for having a girlfriend with a strong enough stomach to watch me break wind barearsed, my parents for providing me with such a compliant digestive tract, and I apologise to anyone in my apartment complex who may inadvertently have viewed the above clinical trial. ---
**Author:** ![williamweigand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b3f665/32.png) [@williamweigand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/williamweigand)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/17 "2004-02-16T14:31:58Z")
[QUOTE=Tentacle Monster] **dutchboy208** , I hereby award you the _Mangeorge Award For Meritorious Duty In The Fighting of Ignorance._\* I award you this for **blackmailing your roommate’s girlfriend** into watching your **bare ass** while you try to **squeeze out a fart** in the **freezing cold**.[end QUOTE] I’m curious – where do you live - that 59 degrees F is considered freezing cold? It got down to 5 below zero F around here this morning – and 59 would be shorts weather in comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/18 "2004-02-16T14:49:49Z")
I didn’t notice the temp. I didn’t think a breath, much less a fart, would steam at that temperature. I’m in Idaho, where it’s much, much colder than that. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/19 "2004-02-16T15:05:32Z")
He needs to go back and fart into his refrigerator. ---
**Author:** ![Achilles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dc4da7/32.png) [@Achilles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achilles)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083/20 "2004-02-16T16:33:34Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > He needs to go back and fart into his refrigerator. Damn right - a little pay-back for the beans… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-questions-about-um-breaking-wind/229083.md?page=2)