# Serious thread titles that are just begging for a smart-ass answer **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2016, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736 "2016-03-12T13:36:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2016, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/1 "2016-03-12T13:36:11Z")
Over in Cafe Society there is currently a thread titled [“I Have Duck Legs. Now What?”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=786683) The first response that popped into my head was something like “Don’t wear shorts”, and indeed many of the first responses were joke answers instead of actually food related. A while back there was a GQ thread with the title “[Does Drano work on hair?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=775781)” and after the first few obligatory “serious” answers the wise guys started piping up. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2016, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/2 "2016-03-12T16:10:26Z")
Who made you pope? Maybe you think my smart-ass answer is smart-ass because you fail to grasp the nuances. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2016, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/3 "2016-03-12T16:25:24Z")
It’s very fortunate _you_ don’t have duck legs–being shoeless, and all. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2016, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/4 "2016-03-12T19:27:43Z")
Oh man, the “duck legs” thread almost got me, too. I was rolling. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2016, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/5 "2016-03-12T21:46:23Z")
**The Great Salt Lake is Shrinking** And Leon is getting larger… ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2016, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/6 "2016-03-12T22:07:14Z")
Just curious (mini-hijack): Weren’t there a whole bunch of threads like this a few years ago? Not counting the back-to-back titles that made for some great humor, and which get new sequels every now and then with “sequential” as part of the thread title. I’d go looking for them but today is my Lazy Day and I’m mostly just wanting to be sure my memory ain’t broke! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/7 "2016-03-14T23:28:29Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > **The Great Salt Lake is Shrinking** > And Leon is getting larger… Is that your way of saying you have a fish fetish? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2016, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/8 "2016-03-15T00:36:38Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > **The Great Salt Lake is Shrinking** > And Leon is getting larger… Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop smoking. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2016, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/9 "2016-03-15T00:49:09Z")
I see them every day. 😃 How about this one: “Aside from cost and ill will, what makes a border fence a bad idea?” Cost and ill will pretty much covers it, right? I suppose you could add, “and it won’t work”. ---
**Author:** ![mage-girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@mage-girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mage-girl)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2016, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/10 "2016-03-15T22:32:29Z")
I like to mentally add “Need answer fast” to some of our thread titles, just for giggles. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Me\_Billy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e480ec/32.png) [@Me\_Billy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Me_Billy)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2016, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/11 "2016-03-16T17:49:59Z")
To the following I wanted to say… [“Is 45 too young to get a check for prostate cancer?”] Why would anyone send you a check if you had prostate cancer? ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2016, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/12 "2016-03-17T00:08:14Z")
Generally, it’s polite to wait for a serious answer or two before you post the joke answers. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2016, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/13 "2016-03-17T01:04:06Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > It’s very fortunate _you_ don’t have duck legs–being shoeless, and all. 😉 That would cause a flap… > [@Me\_Billy](#): > > To the following I wanted to say… > > [“Is 45 too young to get a check for prostate cancer?”] > > Why would anyone send you a check if you had prostate cancer? Re: that same thread title, I thought: “You better hope you die before you get old… (talkin’ 'bout my _Generation_…)” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2016, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/14 "2016-03-17T01:11:46Z")
**Typing Question** Yes, you are. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2016, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/15 "2016-03-17T02:15:39Z")
**Has anyone ever met a spy?** Yes, probably quite a few people have. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2016, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/16 "2016-03-17T02:18:58Z")
**Poll: would you, could you try to “get away” with murder?** I would not, could not, with a truck I would not, could not, with a duck. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2016, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/serious-thread-titles-that-are-just-begging-for-a-smart-ass-answer/748736/17 "2016-03-17T02:29:49Z")
**I’m a bitter man, please help** A nice stout or even a spiced rum may go down better.