# Seriously, Annie-Xmas, shut up about adoption and serial killers. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 12, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-annie-xmas-shut-up-about-adoption-and-serial-killers/581652 "2011-05-12T14:42:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-annie-xmas-shut-up-about-adoption-and-serial-killers/581652/361 "2011-05-19T18:57:06Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I can’t imagine why the people involved would not want to change how they address each other to reflect this new information. Why? The only new information is biological relatedness. The relationships that have been built out of love and respect and trust and caring are still the same, and still reflect parenting. Once again, I would like to point out that you, a sociopath, don’t understand that words have meaning. The word “Mom” has a different meaning than “Mrs. X.” I know it’s difficult for people with your mental illness (the illness of sociopathy) to understand, but it’s true! The word “Mom” has emotional connotations to it that the phrase “Mrs. X” has. The latter, actually, has a connotation of distance, of disconnectedness, and of non-involvement. Yes! I know, I know - crazy, huh? But that’s the way it is in the world of the non-sociopath - meaning, the rest of the fucking world outside of your vile, maggot-infested brain. You know, not all sociopaths have to continue to suffer from their disorder. Many of them can come to a greater understanding of the non-sociopathic (that is, the rest of the world) by doing some reading and studying. It’ll take some effort, **ZPG** , but I have faith that with effort on your part, you can learn what normal people think like., ---
**Author:** ![markm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@markm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markm)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-annie-xmas-shut-up-about-adoption-and-serial-killers/581652/362 "2011-05-19T19:08:40Z")
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena] …She’s a bigot and not a very nice person… [/quote] How do you know she’s not a very nice person? She might just have a lot of pent up sexual frustration. One good handshake and she’d be like a new person. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-annie-xmas-shut-up-about-adoption-and-serial-killers/581652/363 "2011-05-19T19:17:50Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Situations like you have described are the reason legal guardians exist for orphan children. The difference between that older system and the modern adoption concept is that guardians are honest about the children’s origins. They know that they are adopted. Everyone around them finds out over time that they are adopted. We don’t hide the fact (actually, it tends to come up, a lot). They don’t (yet) want to contact their birth mom. (We still have the foster mom who they are more attached to in our lives). When they do, we will be open with what we know. We are very honest about their origins. We are also, (in the eyes of the law and our children and most everyone in this society) their parents. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-annie-xmas-shut-up-about-adoption-and-serial-killers/581652/364 "2011-05-19T19:32:10Z")
> [@markm](#): > > How do you know she’s not a very nice person? She might just have a lot of pent up sexual frustration. One good handshake and she’d be like a new person. She just hasn’t found the right handshake partner yet. ---
**Author:** ![markm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@markm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markm)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-annie-xmas-shut-up-about-adoption-and-serial-killers/581652/365 "2011-05-19T19:38:48Z")
Maybe you could volunteer to be her shake buddy? Someone needs to be willing to jump on that grenade. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-annie-xmas-shut-up-about-adoption-and-serial-killers/581652/366 "2011-05-19T19:49:02Z")
> [@markm](#): > > Maybe you could volunteer to be her shake buddy? Someone needs to be willing to jump on that grenade. That person should get the DSC. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-annie-xmas-shut-up-about-adoption-and-serial-killers/581652/367 "2011-05-19T19:58:11Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > Why? The only new information is biological relatedness. In some cases, not even that information is new, and it is generally irrelevant. For instance, it is highly unlikely that anyone who sees me and my wife with our kids would believe we are biologically related. But we are no different a family from any other in which adoption is not so immediately obvious, or in a family where some of the kids are adopted and some are not (like my cousin’s) or where all the kids are adopted but it is not immediately obvious (like my brother-in -law) or all the kids are by birth (like my sister). It doesn’t make any difference. In each instance, it is completely accurate to refer to the parents as “mother” or “father”. > [@](#): > > The relationships that have been built out of love and respect and trust and caring are still the same, and still reflect parenting. Exactly. No relevant information is being hidden by use of the term “father” or “mother”. It’s neither dishonest nor deceptive. The origin of a family is not a significant factor in deciding whether or not the family exists. Regards, Shodan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-annie-xmas-shut-up-about-adoption-and-serial-killers/581652.md?page=18)