# Seriously. What's Your First Name? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 23, 2014, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994 "2014-02-23T02:46:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/101 "2014-02-24T18:08:24Z")
I’m not worried. It’s all part of my master plan to deceive people into not believing my first name is really my first name, but then stop and think what if he’s using reverse psychology, and then decide I am using my real first name, and so then they’ll go aha! His first name is really Daniel after all. But secretly I will be changing my identity… forged birth certificate. Name change. New social security number. I’ll replace all my blood with Worcestershire sauce, so no one can guess my blood type. Then I’ll get plastic surgery and turn myself into a… you guessed female? Wrong again, dingus. Giant praying mantis WITH A JET PACK! HAHA! Now you’ll never guess who I am. I’m Jet Mantis, which is probably the coolest name you can possibly have. With a name like that, I’ll be getting laid for sure. And then I can say “Eat me” and it will mean two things. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/102 "2014-02-24T19:04:16Z")
> [@jabiru](#): > > Julia Me too. But some of my family call me Jool or Julie (or hey you).🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/103 "2014-02-24T19:07:54Z")
Jack ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/104 "2014-02-24T19:09:16Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Carol. So you’re A. Xmas Carol? That’s a dickens of a combination. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/105 "2014-02-24T19:50:13Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > My first name is a deeply guarded secret. You certainly won’t be able to suss the answer from a casual glance at my screen name, no sir. Ewt?? ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/106 "2014-02-24T19:55:51Z")
Shhhh, he’s Agent 99 and now you’ve blown it. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/107 "2014-02-24T20:12:48Z")
Uh, Doug. And when Strange Brew came out I wrote a fluff review for it in my college newspaper as a conversation between Bob and Doug K. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/108 "2014-02-24T21:21:55Z")
Forgive a post that’s longer than others here, but the thread title prompts a story I’ve told many times over the years. I was given the name Richard Michael XXXXX at birth, from my dad (also Richard) and my dad’s best friend. However, my parents divorced when I was less than two years old. No doubt not wanting to be reminded of my dad, my mom’s side of the family started calling me Mike. Flash forward to elementary school. First day of the term, and the teacher is looking over the class roster, calling out names and asking students to raise their hands to identify themselves. As the name on my birth certificate remains in effect, she gets to me and calls out “Dick? Where’s Dick?” Stifled guffaws emanate from the rest of the class as I sheepishly raise my hand. Even back in the late 50s/early 60s, **no one** was called Dick any more. After two or three years of this, I learned to be proactive. I would approach the teacher before the first class began and say “See my name there? Please call me ‘Mike.’” When I was 12 or so, I had my name legally changed to Michael Richard, and my worries were behind me. The irony is, right about that same time, my mom remarried — to a guy named “Dick”! He had three sons by his first marriage (and unusually for the time, had custody of them). The middle son was named after him, and went by “Dickie.” My brother endured this through his teen years, but upon reaching adulthood, made it clear that henceforth, he wanted to be known as “Rich.” We honor that request when he’s present, or course. But old habits die hard, and when he’s not, my mom, stepdad and I still refer to my brother — who will turn 60 in April — as “Dickie.” ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/109 "2014-02-24T21:25:40Z")
Rick. But bup is a real-life nickname I answer to. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/110 "2014-02-24T22:01:34Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabadoo. \*[“That’s the worst name I ever heard!”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg8H2EveamM) \* ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/111 "2014-02-24T22:45:53Z")
Yancey. When I was in the seventh grade, I started going by my middle name, Lee. That’s what most people call me now. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/112 "2014-02-24T22:56:28Z")
> [@yanceylebeef](#): > > Yancey. > > When I was in the seventh grade, I started going by my middle name, Lee. > > That’s what most people call me now. Is you last name Fry? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/113 "2014-02-24T23:31:21Z")
> [@scootergirl](#): > > It’s Phaedra. Its spelling and pronunciation are butchered frequently. No surprise there. Gwendol **e** n here. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/114 "2014-02-24T23:38:48Z")
I don’t even answer that question in the REAL world, except for legal documents. I hate my legal first name; anybody not a relative who wants to call me that is not my friend. It’s always some variation of my last name. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/115 "2014-02-25T02:29:41Z")
_calls out to the Cyclops_ Ullysses…! “Hey…hey… get this down. Steve… Dallas…” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/116 "2014-02-25T02:46:14Z")
Call me Ishmael. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/117 "2014-02-25T03:34:31Z")
> [@missred](#): > > Me too. But some of my family call me Jool or Julie (or hey you).🙂 I get Jool or Jools. One of the doctors went to call me ‘Jools’ one time and decided she might have been taking a liberty I wasn’t prepared to grant, so stuck the ‘ia’ on the end thus making me Joolsia, which also stuck. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/118 "2014-02-25T04:11:55Z")
Scott. Not impressive, but what are you gonna do? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/119 "2014-02-25T04:15:35Z")
Siam. No, wait. Seriously. It’s Donald, but I go by Don. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994/120 "2014-02-25T04:28:05Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > _calls out to the Cyclops_ > Ullysses…! > > “Hey…hey… get this down. Steve… Dallas…” ok, its not Ullysses. But honestly, who wants to know? Who even cares…? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seriously-whats-your-first-name/681994.md?page=7)