# SETI finally found something now what? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [June 30, 2004, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807 "2004-06-30T01:28:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/21 "2004-06-30T15:12:25Z")
They might communicate in farts. That’d suck. ---
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/22 "2004-06-30T16:12:21Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > They might communicate in farts. > > That’d suck. No, it would blow. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/23 "2004-06-30T16:49:57Z")
> [@Pork Rind](#): > > No, it would blow. Only if you happen to be sucking. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/24 "2004-06-30T17:04:01Z")
> [@rfgdxm](#): > > If some ETs could pick up and view TV signals from Earth, they’d very quickly realize that our species uses sexual reproduction. And they’d quickly be in hot water with the cable people for stealing their signal! ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/25 "2004-06-30T17:15:08Z")
> [@Olentzero](#): > > Depends on what channel they get. And if they’re paying for premium services. **Alien Minion** : Lord Zoltan, we have managed to decode the alien transmission and translate it into our own language. **Lord Zoltan** : Excellent minion, show me the alien message. _Ohhhh yeah, uh huh uh huh…mmmmmm…spank my ass…oooooohhh_ 😃 This performance brought to you by **tick**. There’s also a joke about cunning linguists in there but I just can’t bring myself to say it. ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/26 "2004-07-01T00:33:12Z")
I say we nuke the fuck out of them as soon as we detect them. Then we won’t have to worry about deciphering their language. ---
**Author:** ![stockton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@stockton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stockton)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/27 "2004-07-01T01:28:17Z")
I have done extensive research on this very subject for over 30 years. According to Mssrs. Shatner, Nimoy, Kelley and Roddenberry, most alien lifeforms look a LOT like good-looking humans and speak US english impeccably. YMMV, and kudos to **FX45 4ever** for pointing it out. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/28 "2004-07-01T01:37:55Z")
> [@SandyHook](#): > > Imagine some scientist on Acturius - or however you spell that place … “It don’t matter if it’s Arcturian!” 😃 … :o [sub]_(ahem … sorry about that)_[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/29 "2004-07-01T02:47:20Z")
> [@](#): > > “It don’t matter if it’s Arcturian!” I had to go get my son to explain the joke. He snickered (I didn’t ask if was at me or your yoickoid) and said it was a line from either “Aliens” or “Starship Troopers.” Is that right? Sort of takes something out of it when it has to be explained. But this sort of supports my original post that any message may well be to alien to interupt (except for some basic math/sciency kind of stuff perhaps). It will be so far out of our relm of experience as to have little or no meaning. But the cool thing, as someone already pointed out, is that there would be proof that there are others out there who share our desire know the intelligent entity universe isn’t just made up of us. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/30 "2004-07-01T18:15:45Z")
> [@SandyHook](#): > > I had to go get my son to explain the joke. He snickered (I didn’t ask if was at me or your yoickoid) and said it was a line from either “Aliens” or “Starship Troopers.” Is that right? [From _Aliens_:](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090605/quotes) > [@](#): > > **Frost:** Hey, I sure wouldn’t mind getting me some more of that Arcturian poontang! Remember that time? > > **Spunkmeyer:** Yeah Frost, except the one you had was MALE. > > **Frost:** It doesn’t matter when it’s Arcturian, baby! ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/31 "2004-07-01T18:23:04Z")
> [@rfgdxm](#): > > No, it wouldn’t. If some ETs could pick up and view TV signals from Earth, they’d very quickly realize that our species uses sexual reproduction. The same way if we picked up the TV signals from a planet that didn’t use sexual reproduction, we’d quickly conclude that was the case, because all families just had one parent. Either that or they don’t have the equivalent of Cinemax or porn videos. ---
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/32 "2004-07-01T21:10:41Z")
I seem to remember reading something where the guy proved that we could eventually explain EVERYTHING about ourselves to distant aliens who shared only mathematics with us as a common language… all except for the concepts of “right” and “left”. Anybody heard of this? ---
**Author:** ![duality72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duality72/32/3910_2.png) [@duality72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duality72)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/33 "2004-07-01T23:26:45Z")
> [@Ross](#): > > I seem to remember reading something where the guy proved that we could eventually explain EVERYTHING about ourselves to distant aliens who shared only mathematics with us as a common language… all except for the concepts of “right” and “left”. > > Anybody heard of this? I don’t know about anyone proving such a thing, but that sounds like the basis of decoding the alien transmission in Carl Sagan’s Contact. First you establish what ever symbology for numbers- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, … Then you start throwing in math concepts- 1+1=2, 4-1=3, 2\*5=10, … Then…it gets kind of hazy, as I recall, but you start mapping those math concepts to more general concepts and, poof, you’re communicating. Or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/34 "2004-07-02T00:42:22Z")
Essentially the problem with right and left was that they are entirely subjective, I suppose, and this meant something really really crucial, like you couldn’t tell the aliens which way certain subatomic particles rotated, or some such detail. This meant you couldn’t actually establish whether their whole makeup was somehow “antimatter”. I don’t know WHAT that term means, but it seemed pretty important to the programme makers. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/35 "2004-07-02T01:12:30Z")
> [@bordelond](#): > > [From _Aliens_:Quote: > Frost: Hey, I sure wouldn’t mind getting me some more of that Arcturian poontang! Remember that time? > > Spunkmeyer: Yeah Frost, except the one you had was MALE. > > Frost: It doesn’t matter when it’s Arcturian, baby!]([http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090605/quotes](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090605/quotes)) Interesting…Were the Arcturians just a group of human colonists, or were they supposed to be an intelligent alien species that humanity had encountered? I know they’d found LIFE on other plants, even aside from the Xenomorphs, but I didn’t remember anything more advanced than plant life or sub-sentient fauna. ---
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/36 "2004-07-02T02:54:04Z")
Human colonists whose group had been affected by a radiation leak or something, turning all offspring into androgynous sexbombs. ---
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/37 "2004-07-02T02:55:06Z")
The above is just an idea, btw, nothing more! ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2004, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807/38 "2004-07-02T03:38:28Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Damnit! I thought this was a “breaking news” thread. :mad: > > Anyway, I’m not sure the language barrier would be that easy to break…Even if we _did_ manage to peel single TV-style signal out of the degraded mess that we’d receive—I’m afraid it’d be akin to trying to pick out a single conversation taking place in a large crowd, standing half a mile away from the listener—what if we ended up with a film of what looks like sea urchins performing Chinese opera, and “speaking” in an unending trill that’s at too high a frequency for humans to hear normally? TeleTubbies!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/seti-finally-found-something-now-what/252807.md?page=1)