They might communicate in farts.
That’d suck.
No, it would blow.
Only if you happen to be sucking.
And they’d quickly be in hot water with the cable people for stealing their signal!
Alien Minion: Lord Zoltan, we have managed to decode the alien transmission and translate it into our own language.
Lord Zoltan: Excellent minion, show me the alien message.
Ohhhh yeah, uh huh uh huh…mmmmmm…spank my ass…oooooohhh
This performance brought to you by tick.
There’s also a joke about cunning linguists in there but I just can’t bring myself to say it.
I say we nuke the fuck out of them as soon as we detect them. Then we won’t have to worry about deciphering their language.
I have done extensive research on this very subject for over 30 years. According to Mssrs. Shatner, Nimoy, Kelley and Roddenberry, most alien lifeforms look a LOT like good-looking humans and speak US english impeccably.
YMMV, and kudos to FX45 4ever for pointing it out.
“It don’t matter if it’s Arcturian!”
…
:o
[sub](ahem … sorry about that)[/sub]
I had to go get my son to explain the joke. He snickered (I didn’t ask if was at me or your yoickoid) and said it was a line from either “Aliens” or “Starship Troopers.” Is that right? Sort of takes something out of it when it has to be explained.
But this sort of supports my original post that any message may well be to alien to interupt (except for some basic math/sciency kind of stuff perhaps). It will be so far out of our relm of experience as to have little or no meaning.
But the cool thing, as someone already pointed out, is that there would be proof that there are others out there who share our desire know the intelligent entity universe isn’t just made up of us.
Either that or they don’t have the equivalent of Cinemax or porn videos.
I seem to remember reading something where the guy proved that we could eventually explain EVERYTHING about ourselves to distant aliens who shared only mathematics with us as a common language… all except for the concepts of “right” and “left”.
Anybody heard of this?
I don’t know about anyone proving such a thing, but that sounds like the basis of decoding the alien transmission in Carl Sagan’s Contact.
First you establish what ever symbology for numbers- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, …
Then you start throwing in math concepts- 1+1=2, 4-1=3, 2*5=10, …
Then…it gets kind of hazy, as I recall, but you start mapping those math concepts to more general concepts and, poof, you’re communicating. Or something like that.
Essentially the problem with right and left was that they are entirely subjective, I suppose, and this meant something really really crucial, like you couldn’t tell the aliens which way certain subatomic particles rotated, or some such detail. This meant you couldn’t actually establish whether their whole makeup was somehow “antimatter”. I don’t know WHAT that term means, but it seemed pretty important to the programme makers.
Interesting…Were the Arcturians just a group of human colonists, or were they supposed to be an intelligent alien species that humanity had encountered? I know they’d found LIFE on other plants, even aside from the Xenomorphs, but I didn’t remember anything more advanced than plant life or sub-sentient fauna.
Human colonists whose group had been affected by a radiation leak or something, turning all offspring into androgynous sexbombs.
The above is just an idea, btw, nothing more!
TeleTubbies!!