# Settle another first world problems spousal tiff **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 12, 2026, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406 "2026-03-12T20:34:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2026, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/21 "2026-03-12T23:36:10Z")
I think I am with the consensus here that she wanted you to buy the tickets. Also, I have noticed for a while now that texts ending without a period is becoming more and more the norm, especially among younger people. I am futilely fighting getting old and have adopted that practice. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2026, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/22 "2026-03-12T23:36:24Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Her: Want to go to the hockey game tonight? Looks like we can get decent seats in section XXX for around $$ a piece. > > Me: Sure! > > … > > Me: Am I buying them or you? > > Her: Is this a trick question? Did you not see my text? You were being a dolt. Specifically, you asked a wife a question and expected an answer. She, a woman, asked you “want to go to the hockey game tonight?” and you, a man, answered “Sure.” See how that works? Question, answer. But then you, a man, said “Am I buying them or you?” That’s a mistake. That’s a question that requires an answer, and so you’ve already erred. You would’ve answered “I am” or “you are.” But a wife will of course only ever reply something like “If it’s easier” or “Well, the game is at 8” or “They’re $xx each, so…” In your case, naturally, you received “Is this a trick question?” You fool. What’s next, you’re going to ask what she wants to watch? Or where to get dinner? Haha, c’mon now. You’re supposed to phrase your question as a vague assertion with extraneous, irrelevant details and wait for her to correct you. You’re supposed to say “I’m going to buy the tickets [at 4:00][in row 10][with the Visa].” and wait for her to confidently and boldly correct you with “Would you rather [buy them now][sit in row 5][use the AmEx]?” or even “I was going to buy the aisle seats.” Newlywed, I take it? Don’t worry. You’ll learn. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2026, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/23 "2026-03-12T23:42:17Z")
Thank you. I’m aware of that drift. And am fighting a valiant but ultimately futile rear guard action against it. It helps that my text counterparties are all roughly my age = retired. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2026, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/24 "2026-03-12T23:56:11Z")
I just did a quick scan through the most recent text groups on my phone. I omitted two people who just seem to randomly throw periods around randomly, and I ignored multi-sentence messages. | Age | No Period | Ending Period | | --- | --- | --- | | Teens - 20s | 4 | 0 | | 30-40s | 5 | 1 | | 50s | 7 | 5 | | 60s+ | 2 | 1 | I was surprised 2/3 in the 60+ category were no-period texters, but it’s a very small sample set. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/25 "2026-03-13T00:03:29Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > And am fighting a valiant but ultimately futile rear guard action against it. Why? Communication is ultimate about… Communicating. In a block of text on a page, periods are crucial to helping the reader untangle the meaning. But in a string of text messages, the end of a text clearly signals the end of your sentence. There’s no ambiguity. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/26 "2026-03-13T00:11:26Z")
Aside: my wife tries to punctuate her voice-to-text, which usually comes out as something like “on my way home period what should we do for dinner question mark”. I guess voice recognition is adapting to the times. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/27 "2026-03-13T00:13:17Z")
Thanks for that original research (for real) - interesting. To the OP, here’s another example of a couple awkwardly communicating about buying tickets for a professional game (the lady is Native American): 🙂 [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/-ExJ50ob08c/hqdefault.jpg "Seinfeld The Scalper") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ExJ50ob08c) ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/28 "2026-03-13T02:55:14Z")
Seems _very_ clear to me she was asking to to buy the tickets. I really don’t see how else to parse “Go ahead and buy the tickets” as anything other than “Go ahead and buy the tickets.” I thought you were confused because in her first message to you it seemed like she was saying she found a good deal online and would buy them then. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/29 "2026-03-13T03:07:49Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > I really don’t see how else to parse “Go ahead and buy the tickets” as anything other than “Go ahead and buy the tickets.” “_Shall I_ go ahead and buy the tickets?” Implied subjects and absent punctuation will be the ruin of everything. That said, I would have understood the implied imperative and treated that ambiguous communication as directions to buy the tickets. Or at least, seek clarification, since logically if the other person is doing the research, surely they’re better positioned to buy the specific tickets they’ve already found? ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/30 "2026-03-13T03:22:20Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > “_Shall I_ go ahead and buy the tickets?” 🤨 But those words were not there and there was no question mark. Yes if you _change_ it to a totally different sentence the meaning would change. I would _never_ read that, as written, as a question. His response read as nitpicking punctuation and it would annoy me too. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/31 "2026-03-13T03:27:18Z")
It was clear to me. While you do sometimes see question marks omitted in texts, they are generally phrased as questions. That said, there’s nothing wrong with asking for clarification in general, and even more so when dealing with something involving money. If she had mistyped and forgot the question mark, and you had both bought tickets, that would suck. So her reaction is over-the-top and unnecessarily hostile. Especially after you explained and she still acted that way. Assuming she’s not normally like this, I would presume something shitty happened and she is in a bad mood. I in her position would apologize later. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/32 "2026-03-13T03:28:09Z")
Then clearly you have much too little practice parsing ambiguous communications, because it’s a legitmate interpretation. You could certainly argue that surely your opposite couldn’t have meant that, but they certainly could have. Bad ambiguous communications exist. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/33 "2026-03-13T03:29:39Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > Then clearly you have much too little practice parsing ambiguous communications, because it’s a legitmate interpretation. Except this _wasn’t_ ambiguous! You are making stuff up to add to what she wrote to change the clearly stated meaning. As all the other responses here have agreed. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/34 "2026-03-13T03:33:55Z")
I don’t know why you need to get so exercised about this. I’m not making anything up, and I’d be careful of accusations of lying if I were you. Certain people actually do use ambiguous subjects and implication to convey a meaning other than the plain reading of their words. It’s not a good thing, but it is a thing which does exist. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/35 "2026-03-13T03:39:23Z")
Plus they are couple. I’m sure there’s loads of baggage and past grievances. It’ll blow over. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/36 "2026-03-13T03:40:16Z")
He’s 100% not wrong that the word “should” could have been omitted, and often would be in casual speech. Ideally one would take care not to do that in text, due to the ambiguity, but I know a lot of people who do. Just because I think it far more likely that she wanted him to buy the tickets doesn’t mean it couldn’t have been a bad communication. The OP was not wrong to ask for clarification. ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/37 "2026-03-13T04:36:27Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Her: He’s out so just you & me, go ahead and buy tickets > > Me: Am I buying them or you? > > Her: Is this a trick question? Did you not see my text? > > Me: There was no period or question mark at the end. Didn’t know if it mean “Go ahead and buy tickets?” or “Go ahead and buy tickets.” > > Her: I am literally 2 seconds away from saying forget it > > So, was my asking for clarification justified or was I being a dolt? And was she over reacting to my question? This would really piss me off. How hard is it to be nice to your spouse (or significant other)? Instead of “Is this a trick question? Did you not see my text?”, how about, “Can you please get them, honey?” > [@Reply](#): > > I would double-check, too, just to avoid a duplicate order because those can be hard to refund. Games are expensive, aren’t they? Yes, and ticketing sites typically do not give refunds for any reason. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/38 "2026-03-13T04:58:55Z")
That was slightly hostile, or maybe just confused. But the bit about, “i didn’t understand you because you left out a period in a text” is even more hostile, IMHO. In a passive aggressive way. How about, “i just wanted to make sure, so we didn’t both but tickets or something” I hope they can both apologize, and enjoy the game. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/39 "2026-03-13T05:03:44Z")
But it’s weird that she was shopping and asked him to do the purchase. Does it often work that way in the @Hampshire household? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2026, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406/40 "2026-03-13T14:02:20Z")
This. The proper way to understand a conversation is not to focus on one sentence in isolation. It’s to focus on the entire conversation to date. Look at the emerging wall, not the latest brick. To me, the wife was doing online searching and was positioned to buy the tickets. Her suddenly shifting gears and _expecting_ him but not _telling_ him to do so would fool me every time. And yes, both of them then degraded into being snippy _when viewed from the other person’s POV_. And IMO/IME that’s the key to a good marriage. Always be looking at the world from their POV about as much as from your own. Depending on individual personalities that may be a bigger lift for some than others. And for sure if only one person is trying to do that, it’ll be a recipe for unreciprocated consideration and hence unhappiness for them. But if you both can pull it off, it’s a home run. Shared context is bliss. Routinely talking past each other is hell. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/settle-another-first-world-problems-spousal-tiff/1028406.md?page=3)