# Severed Barbarian **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2017, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378 "2017-04-13T14:18:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/1 "2017-04-13T14:18:15Z")
So… divorce. Again. Never expected it this time. 20 years, 18-1/2 married, two great kids (17-1/2, so), good home for our prior 2+2 kids, lots of financial and career success… but not enough, I guess. I filed this week after a couple of years of trying to hold together the unholdable. I will be completely single and childless for the first time in 40 years. My older daughter (24) will probably drag with me wherever I land; my youngest two are already on the college launching ramp. So I am absolutely footloose and free of fancies, with only the most tenuous anchors anywhere. How odd, after all this time. Back west, I think. Northerly this time. ---
**Author:** ![Khendrask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@Khendrask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khendrask)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/2 "2017-04-13T14:21:23Z")
Sorry to hear that AB. Really. It is probably good however, that you didn’t try to keep it going after it became impossible. I seriously hope you really are okay, and don’t fall into depression… Take care ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/3 "2017-04-13T14:27:58Z")
I wish you a soft landing. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/4 "2017-04-13T14:43:36Z")
Best of luck. My divorce cost a small fortune, but was worth every penny. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/5 "2017-04-13T14:49:10Z")
Good luck to you, wherever you land. I hope it goes as easily as possible. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/6 "2017-04-13T15:10:22Z")
that’s hard, I’m sorry to hear it. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/7 "2017-04-13T15:38:52Z")
Oh my goodness, so sorry to hear that (despite being in total agreement with **kayaker** ). Upheavals are such difficult times. Here’s hoping you find happiness on the other side. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/8 "2017-04-13T18:00:02Z")
Best wishes! ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/9 "2017-04-13T18:02:17Z")
Don’t stop being each other’s best friends. Don’t do anything out of spite, and be there if she ever needs you. You loved her once for a reason, and she’s still the same person. One or the other of you just did what you had to do, and it no longer involves each other. She has moved on to a new path in life that is no longer the path for you. Or you did, doesn’t matter who. I once overheard one of the derelicts that sit on the bench in front of the supermarket, when his ex was brought into the conversation. He said “Aww, she’s not so bad. I couldn’t give her what she needed, and somebody else could. God bless her.” Sometimes you hear wisdom in strange places. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/10 "2017-04-13T18:02:48Z")
Sorry, **AB** , but good for you for knowing when the time is right. I held on to my first marriage too long. My brother and his wife recently separated after 25+ years of marriage, with two kids in the late teens, and he’s feeling very much at loose ends. He is much calmer, though; I don’t think he realized how much the decay of his relationship had been preying on his mood more generally. Keep busy and stay social. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/11 "2017-04-13T18:30:57Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > Don’t stop being each other’s best friends. Depends on the circumstances. My divorce, as I mentioned already, cost a fortune. What makes it worth every cent is never having to see her again. Once the ink dried on the decree, I blocked her numbers and moved on. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/12 "2017-04-13T20:44:08Z")
Best wishes as you move through this transition. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/13 "2017-04-13T20:45:55Z")
If I may pry, what will happen with the dog(s)? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/14 "2017-04-13T21:08:59Z")
Sorry to hear about this. Maybe now’s the time to go pro as a Barbarian. Don’t know what to tell you but divorced or not we all understand what it’s like at the end of a long relationship. You will endure I’m sure but hopefully it will turn from endurance to opportunity before too long. I can understand you wanting to leave the area, especially if it’s not your native territory. It takes a special kind of masochism to stay in Ningland. So best of luck whatever you do and where ever you go. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/15 "2017-04-13T21:12:53Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > If I may pry, what will happen with the dog(s)? Not prying, I thought I’d said… they don’t leave my ankles. It of course compounds the issues and moving back across country and such, but that’s life as a dog person. 🙂 Mrs. Barbarian is not a dog person. And ran out of patience with my being one. Nuf sed. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/16 "2017-04-13T21:27:05Z")
Have you considered that maybe you’ve got a ~20-year “Best by:” date? 😛 I keeed! At least the hounds should be pleased by their sudden status upgrade. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gray\_Ghost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c0e974/32.png) [@Gray\_Ghost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gray_Ghost)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/17 "2017-04-13T21:35:48Z")
I’m sorry to read about your situation **AB**. I can’t speak to divorcing with kids, but as a fellow graduate of marriage, all I can say is that it does eventually get better. The random crying stopped for me after a month or two post the decree being final. Denver seems like it’d fit what I know of your hobbies too, and it might be cheaper than PDX. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/18 "2017-04-13T22:10:09Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > I once overheard one of the derelicts that sit on the bench in front of the supermarket, when his ex was brought into the conversation. He said “Aww, she’s not so bad. I couldn’t give her what she needed, and somebody else could. God bless her.” Sometimes you hear wisdom in strange places. Yeah, like “don’t talk shit about someone you’re planning to murder.” My condolences, **AB**. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/19 "2017-04-13T22:41:02Z")
That absolutely blows, I’m sorry, and I hope you find a new place in life, wherever that may be, that brings you peace. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2017, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378/20 "2017-04-13T22:49:42Z")
Hope things work out for you AB. Change brings many new and exciting opportunities. Sent from my XT1575 using Tapatalk [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/severed-barbarian/784378.md?page=2)